Q09

What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?

My fear is that I will not be able to juggle all the balls that I have in the air right now. It's a reasonable fear since I am teaching 100 students, leading a teaching team of 4, finishing my dissertation, researching for CRI and navigating motherhood... I will overcome this by staying organized and focused.

I fear that I am either not enough or I'm too much, and that either way, I'm just wrong. I'm devoted to improving my relationship with myself and cultivating self awareness, acceptance, and ultimately self love. I'm doing this by removing the distractions from my feelings so that I can name the feelings and let them go. I'm letting the feelings go so that I can stay present and be with myself - so that I can be present with others and feel my feelings at the same time, without abandoning myself for temporary / fleeting outside validation.

I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to get to the next level. I don't think on my feet quickly or respond eloquently the way I see members of the leadership team do. I'm afraid my work products aren't good enough. They aren't as polished as some of my other team members'. I'm not sure I'm convincing to myself or to clients about the value of what I do and the skills I bring to the table. I still feel like an imposter. I'm scared about learning a new technology. I have on my goal list next year to work on all of these things!

I have an intense fear of rejection. From jobs, social situations, what have you-- I hate being told no. I'm trying to start trusting myself more, and not taking things so personally. I'm going to be better for me. Stronger for me. More confident for me.

I have a fear of being alone. As in not finding a life partner. As a child, I always sought the approval of my mother; feeling as though I had to prove myself worthy of her love. That extended to men I dated, which caused me to accept a lot of unhealthy things in my relationships. I've had to learn to let go of people that can't or don't love me the way I deserve.