How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
Get more sleep, and get body (and mind) into better shape. I'm starting to take melatonin around 10pm each night and it definitely helps make me drowsy. Jogging inconsistent with Luke is another help!
I would like to be more decisive, assertive, and leaning on a bit more with what I'm capable to do either at work, personal relationship or health. Interesting, the best piece of advice I heard this year was at a career information evening, "remember that you have something to offer too". I need to remember this so I'm not paralysed by the Impostors Syndrome.
I want to keep in mind the four agreements. Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally (has really been help to me). Don't assume anything. Always do your best. I will add a fifth: forgive myself. I am worthy of love and I am loved. If I keep these in mind, I know I will be in a place I should be in.
Today I received advice from Thomas, the doorman at the Park Hyatt Hotel: don't let people who don't matter in your life bring you down. If someone isn't doing good things for you, don't keep them around. I want to make sure that while I'm working hard for others this year that I remember this advice. I want to improve my ability to let things slide off my shoulders and remember how to not always take things so seriously.
I would like to feel more like myself. I would like to be happier. I would like to be more confident and feel abler. I would like to be abler and not just feel abler. I think the past few months, since July, have been a pretty serious slide for me. I have begun to feel unable, fairly boring and mentally slow. I choose to hope and believe(an easy belief as it has only been a few months) that these things are not permanent and over the next year I would like to rid myself of this decline. I am not sure if there is any one thing which can guide me, I think head down work, organization, and commitment to the process will have to be my guides on this path.
To be the best I can be and accept my limitations. Stop letting others make me feel bad or be bothered by the looks and comments that I “look” fine. People have no clue what it’s like to live in a body that hurts 24/7!
I think #6 addressed how I would like to improve myself. As for my life...I would like for my finances to be managed better. I would like my roof to be repaired and my studio in place. I think the counsel I received that I must remember is, “You are meant to be here doing what you are doing. Your people need you.”
I'd like to take more risks and just relax about things. Over this past year, I've made a lot of safe, well thought out decisions as opposed to just doing life and seeing what happens. I've been rather disappointed in those things moving forward. I think I'd have liked to have had a baby in January. But I replaced that with an impromptu decision to go to Barcelona because I can. And for all the things in life that that stress me out, I shouldn't be stressed by them. The best piece of advice I've gotten has been "embrace the suck" there are going to be times that, well, suck but if you just own that fact and lean into it it'll suck less. By acknowledging the suck you take away the power. Nothing I do is that serious. Nothing I run is that important. I will do things for me, I will be selfless to myself. I deserve my time and attention too.
Courage, humility, curiosity, grit, kindness, gratitude. I again will strive for resilience in my health and in my relationships. I hope to practice more gratitude for the amazing people in my life, and be more mindful of the improvements I make health-wise, so that I can weather momentary setbacks better. I hope that by focusing on making other people's lives better, I will lead a better life as a result.
While not exactly a hot-head, I would like to be calmer especially for things that are known irritants for me (such as unfortunately a lot of the interactions with my mother!). I don't think it's counsel I received more than a realization that I just need to go about it quietly and walk way from situations that I know are not useful even if the other person is being hurtful
My biggest area of improvement for the coming year is my own outlook. I’m already working on this, but I need to look for the light and see past the clouds. I need to see what I have and not what I don’t. I need to appreciate the here and now. I’m proud to say I think I’m already making headway on this.
Exercise every week. Meditate almost every day. Take your vitamins. Drink more water.
Continue my mindfulness practice. Learn how to handle my anger better - I don't want it policed, but I want to channel it in a direction that serves me and others rather than tears us down. Professionally, I want to build skills that bring me closer to launching my own business and overseeing a team. I want to work in a collaborative environment with smart people that build products and reach tangible and attainable goals. As for advice, remembering that some of what I experience is about my and its level. Finding the silver lining and making decisions from a place of love rather than a place of fear. Understanding - just as I did when I was a child - that when somebody is mean, it's because someone was mean to them and they're acting from a place of fear. When I can return that fear with love instead of more fear, that's when miracles happen.
"Without failure, who would you be?" This sentiment is from backup quarterback turned Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles, who knows all about finding meaning in falling short and turning that experience into an opportunity for learning and growth. I will strive to take in stride the downturns and disappointments that this year will inevitably bring.
I want to eat real food instead of junk. I want to start running and weightlifting again. I wish I could tell past me that I was on the right path and that it's possible to get Even Fatter.
God, how wouldn’t I like to improve myself this year? I feel like such a mess. I want to be independent and strong and fierce. I want to be okay being on my own. I want to know what I think and what I want, and I want to feel brave enough to stand up for myself and the things I believe in. Achieving these things feels impossible, but I’ve never felt more galvanized about working on my own self-improvement.
I would like less clutter in my life. I'm trying - but not really hard enough. I want to make a harder effort. I've enrolled in a class, but I've not actually "declared my why" - and I feel like that's important. I feel like my why is that I'm able to focus more, be more creative when I have less clutter in my space. And that lets me be clearer in my life. I need to take steps... but I have a lifetime of existing in clutter. So. I need to work on it.
I would like to be putting myself out there more by this time next year. Having a young infant makes a lot of things challenging, but I should still be seeking ways to help in my new community, ways to get involved with causes I believe in, and ways to reach out and meet new people. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression immediately following our move, but I am starting to feel better. I'm hoping continued improvement in that arena will help me in wanting to help others.
Live life as if it could be taken from you tomorrow. Love your friends and family. Connect with them. Give of yourself to them.
Remember to keep aiming for the good feeling. Appreciation is a great doorway. Fun is more valuable than anything else for recentering you.
I need to be healthier in body and certainly in mind. I need to heal my broken heart and refresh my spirit. I'm writing these answers from the deep well of pain that I'm in now, and it couldn't be a worse time for reflecting or looking forward. I'm so wildly bereft and devastated by loss that I'm barely functioning. I feel like I really am at the bottom of a dark well, looking up at tall, slimy walls. I know the sky and the surface is up there, but finding a way of climbing out -- I don't know how to do it right now.
Improve my physical, emotional, and mental health in small increments
I need to be a more strategic, thoughtful leader at work with the ability to think long term and create a vision for my team. I need to move on from my individual contributor mindset and help others to develop.
I am losing weight. I am Slowly getting a handle on that. I am looking to be a better coach. I have turned into the mentor so I don’t necessarily get advise. I do learn new things about myself like how I supported Coach MW. I throughly enjoy being able to fill in appropriately and use the stories I had learned over the past 45 years. Actually the stories are more from the past 10 years. We have gained so much knowledge about ourselves and our place in the universe. You make your own life and story.
I need to see nature more. I'd like to create my own nook outside somewhere. Something magical. I suppose I could create it and apologize later if it's not liked. That's advice from my therapist. Do now and apologize later. Or maybe I could just not apologize. :)
I am working on being patient and trusting the timing of my life. There is so much that I want to do. I have to remember that I cannot do it all at once. This time next year, I would like to be Silver with Young Living and continuing to grow as a business leader. "Is pain pushing you or is passion pulling you?"
I would like to be able to let things go and eat more healthily. Many people have told me to not worry about things in many different forms.
I would like to be passionate about something or at least be motivated to do the things I need to do like deal with money and find a way to be more productive at work. I would like to find more enjoyment in life. I guess I need to focus on gratitude. I have a good life, and I am blessed with many things, it's just that my heart is not into it much.
FitnessBlender program – take better care of myself – physically / mentally. "Hineni" and "Ayin Tov"; using a good eye to see within myself, others and the world with equanimity and kindness.
I want to just BE ME. Screw all expectations, boundaries, rules... I just want to be myself, authentically, and put that out there. I am hopeful that will resonate with others. I am hopeful that I am "my brand" and that everything I do will be successful if I am just completely authentic and live within my integrity and values. I want to consult to my inner mentor (from Tara Mohr's book playing big) and accept who I am, and embrace it. Stop playing small. Understand I am able to achieve and act on it. I want to truly embrace self-care and not in the instagram way-- but in the way that fills my soul and makes me feel my best. I want to just live the way I want to live and help inspire others to do the same!
I would love to get a permanent job, so that me and my fiancé, who will then be my husband will have an even more secure future. I think by watching my parents relationship dissolve, it has made me realise how important it is to spend time with my partner and not let work get in the way of that, so hopefully we can make it work.
Trust the process. This too shall pass.
I would like to be more accepting of my husband and who he is. I'm pretty critical of him for my own reasons. It's not fair to him so I need to follow through with counseling with him so I have a safe place to tell him why I am this way, and for him to really hear how some of his behaviors affect me. Also, I need to feel my feelings. I need to give myself time for me - not with the dog, not with friends, just for me.
Whew. Not sure. Nothing comes to mind. Maybe slow down, try to be a better person - not let my irritation show through my mouth, which makes other people feel bad. That's probably one big thing I'd like to work on - not making other people feel bad by the knee-jerk way I react to irritating situations. Maybe I should frame that...
I would like to improve myself this year by being 100% solvent and financially stable! My fiscal state is driving me to my grave, literally! If I could somehow incorporate into my life the energy that i am the "master of my own destiny"
My 2017 answer: "I don't really know. I hope I really get out of this $#!++y situation I am in right now. Aside from its ravages on my health, I have begun to really lose my sense of direction. I have been more prone to rage and vocal cursing. I am no longer myself. I just want out. I know that I've been told that it won't always be like this, that I'm still adjusting, that administrators won't be there forever and will be replaced sooner or later, etc., etc. Still, it's not a pleasant state to be in. I should take care of myself first, before I can take care of others. And since I do not feel any compassion on me, I must first have compassion on myself. Otherwise, how can I become compassionate to others?" My 2018 answer: I am still raging and cursing. I have also been tempted to be a mediocre teacher who won't give his best. However, an encounter with a friend reminded me of the sun shining on the good and the bad and the rain falling on the just and the unjust, not for the sake of the beneficiaries, but simply because it is their nature to do so. I must be who I must be; I must act in accordance with my nature.
Wake hungry. Live passionately. Sleep tired.
To live more consciously, openly, honestly, and positively. I've been reading a lot about how to be better, and I think it's far past the time to start trying to actively implement some strategies. I struggle with honesty and trust, and that's not going to change unless I make a conscious effort to make that change. I recognize that my struggles with trusting others branches directly from my struggles with being honest and open and truthful myself. I end up assuming that everyone else is like me, and I logically know that cannot be the case, but I apply it globally anyway. It's high time to work on shifting that.
Personally - slowing down on decision making/judging. Allowing myself to be wrong and let others talk me through their process and viewpoint. It's easy to think you have the best option/way but to be open to changing that. Also to continue to drill down on what's important to me and focus on that, not getting distracted by what others are doing or saying. Run your own race because in the end you only have yourself to answer to. “If you end up running someone else's race, you'll be committed to their finish line and that may not be where you want to end “ - waiters pad
I would like to have a richer, more developed life than I do at the moment, which consists mainly of being bored at work and then being bored at home. I think this means developing my social circle, and finding non-work things that I like to do, whether or not that is art.
I need to stop getting in my own way. I do need to carve out time to rest, but just as important, carve out time to exercise, and job hunt, and write. I need to Be My Own Favorite.
I have to lose weight! I weight 185lbs and developing fat rolls on my back & lost my abs and toned arms. I want to lose the extra weight, keep it off and get my body back. I know losing the weight and getting healthier will help me feel better and be better. Next year I want to finally show off my abs in a crop top or bikini top. I've done it before so I will do it again.
Continue to do and improve my well-being practices. Enjoy every minute of them and have all of that pleasure and happiness spread out into all areas of my life. Do the practices.
To love myself more and feel more confident. To not settle for less than how I deserve to be treated.
Advice - Be kind to yourself first I want to get good sleep, calm my anxiety, drink enough water, eat well and at home, and cultivate the habits that make me feel healthy, present, and whole. - Think about your goals, but pay attention to the road I want to grow in my job, but I need to pay attention to the daily opportunities instead of looking for a new job to do it. I will have the same struggles there. Even if I get a title bump. I also want to be singing, but I have to endure the hard work of finding my strength again and deciding on my sound. It's gonna be a lot of awkward failure, but it will be worth it. - This is not the only opportunity This is not the only job, the only man, the only friend, the only apartment, the only skin care product, the only way to spend my money or time, that can give me what I want. And if something isn't working out, don't hold onto it so tightly. Let it sit in your hand decide if it's going to fly away or not. Likewise, look at it and decide if you want to do the work of holding it.
I want to feel more confident in myself. No “fake it till you make it”. I want to truly feel confident in the way I dress because I feel comfortable, the way I teach because I keep educating myself and practicing, in the way I work because I stay present focused and productive (yup, STOP going to facebook and do. Your. Job.). The piece of advice I am taking is from Nathalie this month in Bali: let go of your limiting beliefs. You can do what you want to do and nothing is stopping you but yourself.
I want to do a better job of surrounding myself with things that bring me joy and not overwhelming myself. I'm working on letting go of guilt and shame of feeling like I should or should not do or keep something. I'm scaling down my possessions to fit the space I'm in so as to bring the most joy. I'm reminding myself of the advice I received: 'you can do it all but you can't do it all at once.'
Of course, I want to be pain-free in the hip/butt area. I'm tired of having the pain for 2 years. I think I'm on-track to keep my weight off, even lose some more; I'm not worried about that...well, maybe a little, but my mental attitude is so different than it was in the past, it's not a major concern. I want to have more patience with Phil especially since I know it will become more difficult as he gets older.
I intend to follow the example of Luna Lovegood. She takes everything in stride and remains in touch with the underlying joy of the universe. As a tangible contribution to that end, I am letting go of a lot of stuff I've held onto. I like space more than I like having stuff. I am halfway there. If I am reading this a year from now, I will have to ask if my floors are clear and everything I decided to keep is in its place. As for specific advice, 'be authentic' was the gist of the Rosh HaShanah dvar. I have enabled the intolerance of some by not always standing up for myself. In 5779, I will challenge injustice whoever its source and stop backing down because of the shortcomings of others.
make more time for yourself make more time for yourself make more time for yourself make more time for yourself make more time for yourself Stop making excuses when you have made time for yourself and just end up in bed watching netflix. Please just get tf out of the house and go see something, do something, try something.
I would like to continue on with therapy and learn more about how to understand my feelings and stay present in my life. I am going to try to rely on the "fake it till you make it" method of happiness when life takes difficult and sad turns.
Exercise. Stress less. Play banjo. Be an actress that cares more about the art than her ego.
I think the best advice I received is try to be honest. Always. I hope I can achieve being more honest about my feelings, more sensitive about other people's needs, and being able to bring these two together in to specific actions towards others.
I liked what Carolyn Elliott said about not being careful what you wish for, because that's how we learn, and worrying too much about whether your wish is appropriate is a great way to paralyze yourself with fear. It ties in well with her overall theme about being honest about what you really want.
I'd like to continue to work on being a happy person and making the best of the situations I find myself in. On a related note, I'd also like to work on developing meaningful connections with other people. I've definitely made substantial progress since my depression last year, but I need to keep at it. One piece of advice that comes to mind is that happiness is a choice. I've made the choice to be happy and I need to stick with it. I need to continue to be positive, despite obstacles and setbacks in life.
I would like to know myself more and continue to build my confidence.
Improve - to get better at my business. To make more money, be working more for clients, to smooth out the bumps in biz dev and administration. To feel like I'm being paid well, and enjoy the work I'm doing. It can happen. It will happen.
Whenever I'm feeling my worst- those are the moments that it's most important to be kind to myself.
I want to be better at time management. It's not something I've ever had to work hard at, but suddenly I'm finding a lot more on my plate and my mornings are lost as I keep staying up quite late. I'm hoping Jon getting a new schedule will help, but for right now I keep finding myself feeling like I'm slipping behind and not getting done what I need to get done.
Again, there are so many things... I am realizing that I see all that needs to be changed and I want to change it all right away. I am also realizing that that is not how life works. I want to focus my eyes just a bit more on Jesus... baby steps... one step at a time. Hopefully through that focus, I can become more okay with incremental change, more comfortable in my own skin, and grow closer to being a person through whom grace and love flow freely. I want to spend more time talking to my husband. I want to spend more time with my children: focused and engaged. Present in the moments that are given to us.
I want to continue to be more open to the good and believing that my truth is enough. I want to be able to be more at peace than I already am. I want to continue to acknowledge and be kind to others.
Same as last year- Don't be an underachiever, there's no future in it. I continue to battle the overwhelming task of making the world a better place and cannot succumb to the weight of it and not try at all.
I'd like to improve my health through more consistent physical activity. I've felt weak lately...trying to rock climb, or at gymnastics class. The advice I can take is that it comes with time and practice. I can learn to love the process again.
"Find a job that doesn't eat your soul." - Tirthankar
I would like to complete three courses of study, and get physically stronger. Also it would improve my life if I could focus on doing more things with other people I know, by asking them to do things, not just showing up someplace and seeing people I know. I am working on being more decisive, more communicative and more open, and to ask for and accept help when needed. Hope I can do this.
Make priorities the priority. Similar to question 6, I would like to improve upon focusing on long term priorities and not short term distractions. I think I need to regularly think about long term goals and make short term goals to get there.
I would just like to be more selfish - does that sound bad? I want to not let the world dictate how I "should" act. I just feel like letting the worry, anxiety, and stress go and focus on what makes me happy. I love the quote from Girls that says "Say NO to Shit you Hate". It is so true and I want to really take that seriously.
I would like to calm down and just enjoy life for a while. Stop trying to be the ultimate (best, happiest, richest, nicest, etc.) and just "be." Note to future self: It's okay to just be you... you are the best you that you can be and you don't have to try to prove anything to anyone else.
I would tell myself not to take on responsibilities that aren't mine. I think I need to be open to a different future than the one I always planned/hoped for. Life can still be amazing even if you have to change courses. I want to remember to always value myself and what I bring to the table in all areas of my life.
In so very many ways. I want to feel like I'm moving forward with my life, yet I am amazing at getting in my own way. It's hard to let go of the negative self talk, but I need to make a plan, stick with it, and stop being so damn stuck.
I would like to spend more time cultivating relationships with people I would like to have stronger relationships with over time. For example, communicating with Madison cousins and making an effort to be part of their lives. And doing my part to strengthen Joedan's new love relationship, if it is meant to be, and possible for me to play a positive role. I would like to be more spontaneous in my writing and edit less, communicate more, even if imperfectly.
I would like to continue with my good mental health, as much as I can control it. Being as upbeat as I am on little to no sleep has been surprising, and I am also working on my own cognitive therapy, choosing not to think the overwhelming thoughts that are very nearby. I continue to hold onto Jeff's "Change your perspective or your situation," though now it tends to be my perspective I change.
I would love to continue a mindfulness practice. The little meditations I have done were very soothing, and I really feel like I'm starting to put all this mindfulness stuff together.
"Fail trying, don't fail watching." I would like to be actively involved in my community, both for personal pleasure and also in a helpful way. I would like to give back, show up, stand beside.
My intention for the next year to find 'joy in solitude'. To reconnect with the intention I set when I was 14 to become my own best friend. I'd like to focus on recovering from surgery, nourishing my body, and letting go of expectation of external validation through new friendships and romantic relationships. I'd like to work towards self acceptance, within solitude, and let go of my desire to seek partnership so overtly. If possible, to explore self acceptance in relationship to body image, find what about my body makes me sexy I'd like to be more flexible with my intentions. If life sidetracks my intentions, to go with the flow of the opportunities that are presented to me. In short, I'd like to achieve a rhythm where I feel capable/confident of achieving my objectives and let go of the 'work' and 'struggle' of getting to where I'm go by accepting where I am with less striving to be somewhere else!
I want to get in shape and build muscle; heal my jaw, and heal my neck. I want to appreciate every day and realize it is important how I spend my time and who I spend it with. Both are precious. I want to stick to a morning ritual and drink less alcohol. I want Fitness to become a regular part of each day. I want to feel, know I am in great shape and look fit.
My advice would be the one that a colleague used to give - "Don't beat yourself up," as well as a question from another colleague - "What's the worst that could happen?" And my own questions from last year: "Will I use it?" "Do I need it?" "If I knew I had a short time left to live, would I keep it?" "Would I miss it?" "Can someone else use this?" Therefore, my answer builds on last year's response - continue to take care of myself. I'm exercising more and eating better, but I want to step it up. I've cleaned some drawers and closets and given away bags of stuff, but I still have drawers, hidden corners, and books to sort out. I still need to get my files in shape (or at least the financial and "what if something happens to me" ones.) I've already bought more tickets to plays and concerts for this year, so my cultural / artistic desires are being met.
I would love to further my statement of pursuing the passion of life with goodness, courage, and love. Really drive that home this year. I think really working on that courage piece for me this year is a goal and not being so scared to take risks. Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing
Every success looks like failure during the process.
I'm done with self-improvement. My life feels complete. I want to enjoy every single day--any one of them could be my last.
Take control of my life and acknowledge I am responsible for my own happiness. And I am not responsible for anyone else's happiness. I need to constantly remind myself that I can only do what is right for me.
There are many things I would like to improve: Get fitter. Find a sport that sticks. Make running a habit. Find a hobby - like making dreamcatchers. Make time for that hobby. Finish your projects! Instead of wishing this, I learned I need to work actively on this. I learned new habits form when you do certain things a certain way for at least 3 weeks. So we are going to do things to achieve the points above.
Less time being pulled to technology and more time enjoying being with my family and friends
I would love to learn how to become more in-touch with my true feelings, and to start to shred the tough layer I've developed since moving to DC. I use to be able to be so vulnerable, but now, for some reason, I cannot be, and I would like to change that.
I would really like to get my stomach under control. Overall, health in general. I'm a bit overweight, and have only been half-assing eating better and working out, putting other priorities ahead of this. I need to take care of myself before I can do anything else - this stuff matters!
I want to confidently step into my next career path, with a humble, head down, get the work done, work hard, ask questions, and face challenges gracefully mindset. I will rely on the wisdom of my friends that I made at Stanford. I also want to get as healthy as I've ever been. And I want to be madly and unabashedly in love with the person I already love.
I would like to lose more weight this year. If there's one piece of counsel I could give it's that giving up sugar and carbs works!
A hundred things flit through my mind, but they seem as fantasies. I can't gather the willpower to -do-! Learn a portable instrument. Get serious about learning Japanese. Take a course in clinical trial management. Go rock climbing. Get published. Go to the gym. Replace my wardrobe. Become a zero trash household. Cook all my meals. Drink green drinks. Drink green drinks and like it. Break the sugar addiction. Meditate. Reconnect with friends. Stop having depression. Stop having sleep apnea. So yes, I want to improve, but I don't know how to get to the state where I can do it. Addendum I will however start a dot journal. Cuz I plan on doing that immediately. I don't know if I will find it helpful enough that I keep it up, but I will definitely start.
I would like to continue on my journey of building my coaching business and being more outspoken in articulating my perspective effectively. Recently, I listened to my husband speak about how impressed he has been with how I interact with people - how I can connect with people from all walks of life - from the very wealthy CEO to the woman survivors from domestic violence. And how determined I am to see their humanity - what makes them great.
Continue to connect spiritually through meditation, and talking about my anxiety. Continue taking on new things (pizza oven, ??) and learning! Focus on love. Remember Lorenita's message: Be Kind, Open, Compassionate, Forgiving, Grateful, Joyous, and be Loving!
Be BOLD. Just taking risks and things with my feelings and even if the anxiety is gonna be there, getting control over it. "Tranquila." I would love to start embodying a piece of this beautiful word. Y también quiero continuar practicando mi español. :)
Recently I have noticed I'm holding myself back out of fear that I'll mess up, or that people will know that I'm not good at everything. I'm reluctant to get up and lead a service that has parts I haven't practiced, like for the holidays. I'm reluctant to approach people in Hebrew here in Jerusalem even when I could, worrying that I won't understand them enough to carry the conversation. I keep to the edges socially, not eager to introduce myself to strangers and unwilling to demand the attention of my classmates. This, surely, has been triggered by all the newness of moving to a foreign country--somehow I feel like I've regressed because I can't express myself clearly and articulately. The language barrier has become an emotional one, too. I want to keep reminding myself that every time I've achieved something major--from teaching to falling in love--it has come as a result of throwing myself in the deep end of something hard and scary.
Be patient. Take time to listen to yourself. You already know the answers. You just need to quiet the noise to hear them.
Well I definitely did a better job of being more present with my girls - and I want to continue that. I feel more connected to them more than ever before.
Continue to work with 501Commons and learn more about the sector for possible consulting work. Meanwhile. My concept for Leftover Gourmet have evolved, so I need to master a blog, YouTube programs and article writing
I would like to be more devoted to my routines - meditation, yoga, healthy eating. The kinds that are easy to lose.
I don't want to take myself so seriously all the time. I should be able to laugh at myself, sing in public, try speaking in funny accents, tell stories, participate fully in larger social settings without retreating to a small subset of people! I'm not sure about pieces of advice... perhaps the most efficient way to do something is to do it.
I’d like to assert my independence and really be my best self. The two best piece of advice I was given that I want to follow this year are: 1. Write down three positive thoughts at the end of each day (Elyssa Ronik) 2. Don’t let anyone else influence what you do, only listen to yourself and what you want for yourself (Ethan Feuer). I think I can be the best leader, the best student, the best friend, and the best person if I just follow this advice and become more optimistic and independent
Going back to college and not giving up on physical and mental health. A couple things have been helpful in getting to this point. The book "Intuitive Eating" is helping my get over my binging and eating disorders. Being reminded to set small manageable goals instead of feeling like a failure when I don't live "perfectly" has helped me stay in the gym. And my mom telling me that I am intelligent enough to go back to college for something I enjoy instead of just trying to get my early childhood education degree has inspired me to start seeing myself as a human being with dignity, value, and worth again.
Be patient with yourself. Take your own good time. Your guides, Athena and Rienk, will show you when it's ready to push a move.
a quote I read a few months ago is sticking with me: "Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist." I know the corporate rules - written and unwritten - it is time to break them, bend them, make them irrelevant.
I would like to improve my scheduling abilities, my ability to balance, and my overall anxieties. I think if I get into a good groove, I will be okay. But balancing dance, climbing, hooping, cooking, vet school, friends, partying, etc. just seems so hectic. I don't know.
There are so many ways our lives could be better this year. I want to see the weight loss goals get moving, I want to get more settled in our home and give it more homey qualities, curtains, art, more furniture. I want to feel at home in my home and I want to have an adventure to another country.
How does this decision effect my family? How many people benefit from this choice? On my worst day will this choice seem like a good idea? What about on my best day? Stay organized, forgive yourself. Take a breath. Go to bed.
I want to be more accepting and loving to others and to myself. I want to forgive and forget every bad thing that has ever happened or will happen and not spend energy on the negative. I want to live in the moment and plant seeds of positivity with my thoughts and actions. I'm learning to ALLOW the good to come and be here. I'm learning to love myself. I think good advice for myself and for everyone is "you reap what you sew". So sew some good shit.
I'd like to be in better shape physically- with more energy, stronger, better balance. See also #6. Remember my heritage, beyond my parents' troubled generation.
Finally I am starting to be a calm and reasonable person. I think it helps when you argue with people that don't no limits and that say evertyhing that comes to mind in their anger.
DO SOME FUCKING YOGA!!! OR AT LEAST MEDITATE! OR DO SOME BLOODY PRESS-UPS. JUST MOVE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
I would like to feel more in control of my own emotions, specifically being able to decide in a split second whether it makes sense to push an issue for the greater good, or if it's someone's personal choice that doesn't/shouldn't matter to me. I feel guilt for not trying to right every possible injustice, but today I was told that guilt is your brain signaling you that you've betrayed your own ethics. And there are lots of things that I feel guilty about that I couldn't have changed! So I think that's a good first step. Knowing which ones are things I could actually impact and working on just THOSE. I look forward to having more rules like this next year. Hopefully.
I read this post about solo travel in Paris (when I was on a search to understand WHY I was going on this trip, and what to do there). This part stuck with me and is informing everything in my brain right now. "The question that bubbled up was not so much, Will I be back?, but rather, Could I bring back with me the feeling that I had cultivated here?" My France trip was incredibly powerful, and I feel like I still don't understand the extent of the ripple effects it's having in my life. One thing I know for sure, though, is that I am a different person, and I have now discovered some of my deepest pleasures in life. I got to live *slow* and that life was extraordinarily good. So now how to bring it back home? We started doing fancy breakfasts (I hope we are still doing fancy breakfasts at home with amazing butter. And if not, this is a great nudge to start again now!). I am still eye flirting with people, and keeping that fire lit inside of me. (It's more than a pilot light, it's a FLAME right now, and I wouldn't mind it staying that way.) I've also brought it home by bringing this new version of myself home with me. I'm still learning her, and this introduction is feeling so sexy and NICE. What a pleasure it is, to know myself.
Lose weight, eat healthy. Positive reinforcement from my birth sister.
Let Mom into my heart and mind, let her rest there with me everyday. Use what she taught me to move forward.
I would like to continue working on my weight and esteem issues as well as battle my depression issues. Some days I don't leave the house and it's so messy I can't have visitors and I'm convinced even my cats and dog hate it. I feel trapped.
I failed this year in trying to be more productive and efficient, possibly because of lack of proper motivation. Now with a baby coming in 12 weeks, I have no choice but to make it happen. Just do it, no more excuses.
Aside from needing to make a major effort toward strength and endurance, I need to be more “productive” with my time...less time on the iPad, more time outdoors, in books, with projects and exploring. I don’t do Facebook, but I spend too much time scrolling and gaming. I do keep up with the news via iPad and it’s where I record my journal and do most of my writing. But there is too much inactive time spent here, too. I think my life would be richer if I spent more of my time in other activities. Would be better for this body, too.
I am old and so tired. Retirement is not an option for another 6 years. I just need to get through. Once my mom dies and I clean up her stuff I can let myself die. Dont want my girls to have two estates to deal with.
Do things, but don’t be overwhelmed by the size. Take steps. Tackle pieces. Communicate more. Be present.
This too shall pass. Remain calm and detached so I don't get too excited and react in ways will regret later. Think before I speak. Or act. I can do almost anything if I put my mind to it! Look at improvements in bloodwork; thyroid centric, more h20, timing the coffee- not near exercise. continuing the teshuva path to Hashem. i did it - saying no to treif out of the house 96% of the time. Being true to myself there is no apology needed.
I want to be more patient with the kids. I think weaning will help with this. I probably just need to pull the trigger and do this, for everyone's best interests (except the baby, but she's GOOD. She eats like a teenager).
At a bar mitzvah today I listened to both the bar Mitzvah and the rabbi talk about letting go of anger and replacing with both acceptance and resolve to er. do better. I hope I can do this in the coming year.
I want to make more time for myself, for my creative endeavors. And I want to write more for work. Relevant advice from the last: put your own oxygen mask on first. From this year: Aviate, Communicate, Navigate.
I want to lose weight and get healthier. I know my health is so important. Someone told me to only think about exercise in 10 minutes increments. So to trick my brain and to get started with it more. So that is my goal.
This is a good question. Having just ended a six-year relationship, I'm in a period of personal transition and transformation. A lot of things feel murky and unmotivated. Part of me feels closed-off and small. For the upcoming year, I would like to get to a place of openness. Setting intentions for things I want to see manifest in my life. Opening myself up to new friend groups and communities. Saying 'yes' to some things I might have said 'no' to before. Getting a little uncomfortable and maybe a little crazy. Basically, giving myself a chance to surprise myself. This isn't necessarily a tangible thing, but rather a posture that I think will introduce things into my life I can't quite imagine yet. At the Robert Gass workshop I did earlier this year, we all developed "power mantras." The one I landed on was: "I am a tree; deeply rooted and resilient." The tree metaphor has come up a lot for me over the past several months. I read Deena Kastor's book called "Let Your Mind Run," and one of the quotes in there was: "The rigid tree snaps in the wind. The flexible tree sways and develops stronger roots." I want to continue living with this mantra, especially during a time right now when I need to hang on to that resilience. I'd like to embark upon new experiences this year that cause me to sway a little bit, knowing that I'll always have my roots.
promptness, walking, and more current news
Kill 'em with kindness. Hit the ground listening.
I need to stay positive, for myself and the kids. My boss gave me a study to read about regret. I want to be better about taking actions that I should have acted on. Going to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame was a great, spontaneous trip for me this year. I hope to find some opportunities like that with the kids, despite their busy schedules.
I'd like to feel less pressure to impress people. I spend too many mental cycles on that, and in return usually it just results in me being more of a jerk than if I just behaved normally. I'm not really sure how to get past this, I just am reasonably sure it'd help if I could do it.
Lee and I both read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle within a few weeks of moving to Maine. We are inspired to get more locally and seasonally. So we are getting our vegetables from a CSA and from the farmers market. Something I have wanted to do for a long time is incorporate a food blessings practice. I want to do the traditional Jewish practice of blessing each item with a specific blessing upon eating it. I want to teach this practice to Oz but first I have to learn it myself. It is overwhelming. I need a mentor, guide, or other resource. I would like to take on this practice this year.
When my husband went out of town recently, I attempted to contact a friend to go to the movies with me. After two unsuccessful attempts, I realized that I needed to do more work cultivating female relationships. Since I don't have children or other family near by, I have depended almost exclusively on my spouse for friendship. My counsel came from within. I knew that I was missing out on something, but wasn't taking the time or initiative to reach out to others.
I want to get out in the world and face it head on: chazak v'ematz! I don't want to hide behind being unsure or lukewarm about my own, strongly held convictions.
I'd really like to do everything I can to be the best mom I can be. I think the biggest thing to remember is that my child does not belong to me, she is entirely her own. I am here to love her and help her and guide her, but she is, even from the beginning her own person! It will be hard for me to give up control, as I really feel a strong protective pull to control as much as I can to guide and protect her - but I hope to keep in mind, even as I care for this vulnerable little person, that it's a gift to get to care for her this closely for a little while, and that the best thing I can do for her is to let her explore the world on her own terms, and being a safe place for her to land.
Be present and take in all experiences. Change my exercise habits to work out more and enjoy it more too. Learn to cook and make better quality and healthy food.
i hope to keep plugging along with exercise and making small changes to improving my diet painlessly. and to make the regular doctor's appointments they keep nagging me about.
"Take shits from no one."
Today I came across a book from my cousin, Ms. Self Help Book guru. I don't like self help books, but realize, possibly, if I were open to them, I might be a better, more actualized person.
I'd like to get back on track with my exercise and weight loss. I have very little self control, and I need to learn to be in better control than I am.
Since it seems I'm going to be a Jewish leader as well as an educator—whether I want to or not—I'd like to work on becoming better at both. I need mentoring, Jewish lay-initiative leadership networking and support
I would like to let go of people places and things that no longer serve me or are no longer relevant to my life without feeling guilt about it.
I want to improve my job situation. I like what I do, I make money, I have job security. At the end of the day, everyone wants change. Staring at the same four walls all day long would make anyone go crazy. I'm slowly learning that it's not always about the money but about having a quality of life.
Right now I am really leaning into advice to take better care of myself, to do less, and seek out joyful experiences. I feel a need to find more joy, ease, and mastery in my day to day life, and I'm trying to fill that need by first attending to where those experiences are already happening and savoring those. I hope by attending to these qualities, I'll also attract more of those experiences as well. In theory I know and believe that I am best able to contribute to the world when I am grounded in a place of fullness and care myself.
stay grounded and improve personal resilience. Accept that some people will never change their bad behaviour & get on with your own life (easier said than done). Most people who tell you to "walk away from it" are settled so can dispense advice easily!
I want to continue on my role of developing leadership within myself, and within others.
I would like to bring exercise into my life. The pace of my life can be frenetic, but I really need to find the time to start moving my body. I eat well, but without exercise, I'm doing myself a real disservice. I don't like most kinds of exercise, but I have wanted to take dance lessons, perhaps ballroom dancing. I loved Israeli dancing when I did it years ago, and it was an incredible workout. The thought of dancing with a man, in his arms is really wonderful--even men I'm not interested in. I love feeling like a woman, and having a man lead, but being able to still be a strong and feminine being sounds pretty fucking awesome!
Again I would like to be driving xx Get my Hypnotherapy Business finally off the ground. I would like to finally allow myself to loose weight & look after myself more xx I’ve had no advice or counsel but I believe you need to keep on going & never give up xx And be proud of how far you’ve come & what you’ve learned so far xx
I want to be healthy. I’m finally ready to live by my capacities and not my desires. I hope that in doing this I can heal my body, have the energy I want to be in the world, make things and put them out there as well as take care of myself and my family.
Same as last year, but I am much closer to my end goal now! - Continue to get in better shape and lose weight, cut down on the smoking, GET THE HOUSE. Be the superhero you were meant to be.
I would like to feel accepted, valued and to find a good position for a daily job. I'm not sure that there is a specific piece of advice or counsel that guides me, but I use as my guides the idea of re-invention, the idea of searching, the idea of midlife crisis for good, especially for women and moms. Sometimes this stands on self-acceptance and I've certainly made progress in that area - I think I deserve to work at a great place for me.
Now that I've reached the half-century benchmark, I've stepped-up the amount of exercise I do, and have reduced red meat while increasing probiotics and foods that regulate cholesterol. I'd like a clean colonoscopy this November. I've also begun to treat my hair and skin more luxuriously -- anything to stave off that figure in black robes who swings the scythe. Symbolically of these healthy habits, I'll be voting blue, while pushing for progressive changes in the Democratic party. Sometimes it seems like progressives gave up after Nixon, and then said "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" after Reagan and a couple of Bushes. Watching Bernie come to the fore after 30 years of staying on message, and witnessing him inspire a generation of packed stadiums nationwide, only to see him subsequently sabotaged by a party as afraid of change as their sniveling opponents, I thought we'd slink back to post-Nixon apathy. But I'm inspired daily by the new voices and strong wills of a kind and compassionate majority. I'm also disheartened daily by a fairly large electorate of toxic rednecks, but that's another story. As I better understand and fortify my insides and outsides, I'll simultaneously be calling for the same in the world around me, calling for more transparency from leaders, governments, businesses, and relationships, until good health dominates every walk of life. I'll put my money where my mouth is, and labor toward what's left of a possible utopia.
Still this (it's a LONG road): "The Dalai Lamas notion of being grateful for my enemies for they are my teachers." My friend Sarah has given me some good guidance about recognizing how sad it is for hurtful, narcissistic people to live in that place of loneliness and competition and hostility. That helps mitigate my anger. I need to let go of the desire to have a useless confrontation. They will not change and don't think they have to. But however much they make others suffer, they will never know the love, care, and hope we have. That is infinitely sadder for them. We gain nothing from our outrage at their behavior - they live in endless despair.
In the past I have been burnt at work but those that have worked for me. I thought I was over being burnt in this way. However, recently I got burnt badly again but someone who I never thought who do what they did especially considering I tried to show kindness and patience with them. I want to learn and grow from this painful and difficult experience and to again trust my instincts and people like I have in the past.
Hmm, apparently I could just cut and paste answers from one year to the next. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I would still like to start learning piano, although with all of the other music stuff, plus wanting to revive the Kate and Jeff gigs, it seems unlikely. Plus, we just found out that kids get to pick an instrument and get lessons through the school starting in 4th grade, so at this time next year Noah will be able to do that. Since part of my idea has always been to learn piano at the same time Noah was learning piano, it seems like maybe next year is a better time to do that. All the other stuff is the same. I would like to exercise more and lose 10 or 20 pounds. I would like to establish a more regular sleep pattern because I still go to bed at 1:15 and wake up at 6:15 more often than not.
I will make my own financial security my priority.
Don't take yourself too seriously. Give yourself time and space to do what you want and what you need. Go for the rest of you dreams and please, stop doubting who you are, because you're great!
"It's not about me" I'm working very hard to continue to realize when something is my fault/a reaction to something I could change, or when someone's actions/words reflect merely their own state of mind or wellbeing. I'm trying to identify the feeling of "blame" to which I then react before I react and to identify the tight feeling I have as my own mishegas. When I do this - and I hope this year to do it more - I am much less reactive and calm in my responses.
I somewhat answer the first part of this question in last question's answer so refer back to that answer. I'm going to answer the second part. "El hubiera no existe." - Mami This saying is nothing new. I grew up on my mom's sayings. My mom is such a beautiful person and I don't think that she will ever get the recognition, healing, or appreciation that she deserves. I hope to try as hard as I can though. After the accident, I kept thinking and wishing that I could change things. I would start crying uncontrollably out of nowhere and torture myself with "what if" scenarios - what if I hadn't gone down that street? What if I had followed the map instead of letting it reroute? What if I had taken 2 seconds to change the song or the temperature instead of starting to drive? What if I had accelerated faster and not gone at the speed limit? What if I had just not gone down that intersection? I had to literally force myself to accept that "el hubiera no existe." No matter how many times I went over the situation or I tried to change it -- it is what it is. I had to get over it and begin healing. I had to change that frustrating energy into healing energy. I hope that I will learn patience and continue to accept that "el hubiera no existe." I literally have a knot in my throat as I am writing this. I hope to be able to fully accept this by next year without having this knot in my throat. I hope to heal.
I would like to be more playful, especially with Juni and Morgan. Speaking with Naomi and Gary this week about our ability to relieve stress and de-escalate tense situations by turning it into a silly game is so important and I almost never think to respond this way. I would like to work on this skill.
I hope that in this past year I have been able to relax into pet ownership. I get so anxious about making sure that I am making the pup happy and healthy, and it's often to my detriment. I hope that I will have been able to remember to stop and simply sit with him; often we both get so much out of just the act of being close, and I hope that I remember to take advantage of that.
i would like to improve myself by learning how to take up my own space without (or in spite of) my fear of judgement or not being enough. i would like to improve my life by focusing on what matters most to me. there is a piece of advice i received that has been stuck with me since i first heard it: when you are thinking too much about what the others think, feel or see; try to concentrate on what you think, feel and see.
I wan't to have at least $1,000 in savings and two of my monthly bills paid off. I have started learning what it will take for me to become financially stable and this is the first step. I was already on my way to this being an easy given, however I had to do some home improvements and that took quite a bit of my savings down. So this is now going to be a tough goal, but an important one.
"Do what YOU want to do" Many times we do things for other people and end up creating work/effort and inconvenience for ourselves we don't even ultimately enjoy. Create the life that YOU want to live
This year, I want to a) live with a little less fear and b) better understand myself. A lot of this is attached to mental health struggles that I've been having, and the advice I keep thinking of is my friends telling me to lean into my feelings. To not berate myself for feeling sad or depressed. To accept that my feelings are a normal part of me. I want to reinvigorate the excitement for life and possibility that I know I have inside me, that is often clouded by doubt, fears, or feelings.
Look for ways for things to be GOOD ENOUGH! It doesn't have to be perfect, or complete, or brilliant. My good enough is going to be good. So good enough- that's great for me.
I am looking forward to settling into the house in its new configuration. We've done a good job of coping with the utter chaos that we've been living with this year. Every step we take towards sorting through our belongings and putting systems in place for managing our stuff feels good. But as I type, I'm looking at a disaster of a living room. I know what it will take -- just building habits. We've been good about cleaning the kitchen and I've been making a practice of making our bed. Once we get the kids' rooms set up, we can do a better job of enforcing the take-your-stuff-to-your-room habit.
I have been working hard for several years to be a more positive person and I feel like I am achieving that goal. My husband is a big influence as he helps make me happy every day. I want to continue to be positive and I would also like start setting goals and believing that I can achieve them. I have not had "dreams" for my future in so very long. It will be a hard goal to reach.
Brian just said to me the other day " you people (meaning worriers) think way to far ahead, just take the next thing in front of you". That struck a chord with me and I've been trying to practice just doing the next thing. It's so hard when you feel like you're walking in a minefield of possible bad choices, at work. I need to just do the best I can and not worry so much, it doesn't help!
Don't look for the right person, be the right person. Say what you want from your relationship. Make sure that includes NOT TREATING YOUR PARTNER like the buddies you hang out with. Let it be something you just enjoy. Or decide it's something else. If they don't like it, move on. Give it a chance, then, if I don't like it, move on. When I shine bright, the darker things are attracted to me like moths out of the darkness. Guard myself from them. Don't avoid shining to avoid them, though. Sometimes, you don't have to like it, you just have to do it. Pick a horse and ride it. Give yourself time to grieve. Sometimes, you just need to cry and scream. Or go to the beach. Or write a letter. Or don't write a letter. Lots of people want to be there for you. Some of them have earned that right. Let them. If I die tomorrow, the world goes on. That's comforting. And it's ok that it doesn't make me sad. Call your mom.
I want to eat less and exercise more. I want to be under 120 pounds and exercising at least 2 hours a day. I want to run a 5k.
Positive attitude. I think the best advice is to set goals, and then constantly imagine that you have already achieved them. FEEL what it’s like living in that future.
I want to be kinder and gentler towards myself and others, especially my wife. It's Chaos. Be Kind.
I would like to create and maintain a realistic budget. I would like to pay off this damn car. As for advice, Nike's Just Do It evoked much soul-searching this year.
I want to feel more generosity towards myself and others. I want to reflect the best and be the best I can be. I want to make boundaries that allow me room to breathe and safety in my body. I want to tackle my anxiety, and figure out truly how to cope with my own mind.
I need to learn to balance work and home life. More time with Julia, more time with the boys, less time working myself crazy.
I want to be my most authentic self. I don't want to be weighed by fears of rejection or of judgment. There have been so many moments in life when I held back, but I am done with that. I want to laugh, cry, dance, sing no matter who is around. I want to tell people when they have hurt me. I want to tell people I love them. No more holding back.
I would like to focus on getting back in shape. Continuing to lose weight through mermaiding and maybe getting back into yoga and Pilates.
I would like to improve myself next year by moving past binge eating, by feeling my feelings, by loving every feeling and feeling grateful for the opportunities, for not needing to eat instead of feel what I feel. I also would like to handle stress better. There is an amazing piece of advice I recieved from Santi, the airbnb host that Ari stayed with all summer, and he said even in times of stress, just think to yourself "Everything is perfect. Everything is as exactly as it needs to be". I need to remember that when I'm sad, lonely, hurt, stressed out. If I continue to remember this i can sit with these uncomfortable feelings, be okay with them, and grow.
I will take one day at a time.
Take care of yourself in order to care for others. Goal: less time spent on social media
I want to improve how assertive I am. Hold my ground. Speak up when I am disrespected. Speak up when I witness micro-aggressions. Also: I will take to heart the words, “Just love each other.”
I'd like to find a way to eat better that doesn't take over my life and take away the bit of easy joy I have left. I feel really unhealthy right now, especially being surrounded by people who have made drastic changes, but need to find my own way to do it.
"Follow your feet." I'm not that much of a planner, and yet I often find myself stressing about what's to come. At this stage I am trying to learn how to let things unfold. It was the impetus behind the decision to quit my job and the mantra of my ensuing travels, and has worked out well thus far, in that I have no anxiety about the future and have stumbled into some beautiful experiences. I am under no illusion that my life path will simply roll out for me like a red carpet - there will be certain moments where I will need to be decisive and sure of myself. But the key is not to seek them out and rather let my life happen, recognizing those moments when they arise.
I want to have self-care routines outside of reading. I love me my books, but I need to expand my methods of stress management and taking care of my body.
I would like to learn to only commit to what I feel sure I can do, and keep my word. I tend keep overly busy and over-commit to others, or say I'll do something and then not remember to do it. I want to be more thoughtful about that. I want to be more thoughtful of others and make time for small encouraging gestures, more writing of thank you notes, more wishing of happy birthdays. The little things that in the end mean a lot.
As I was sitting in services today, I read one vidui around not aligning my time with my priorities. And it struck me: I don’t always know what my priorities are, so how could I possibly align my time to them? I have so many interests and things that I like to do, but sometimes I wonder if I just stay busy to be busy. In the next year, I want to think more critically about how and where I spend my time to ensure that what I’m doing is bringing value to my life.
i would like to pay as much attention and dedication to my financial health as i have to my physical health in the past. this year i was still preoccupied by training and races and gradually and quite painfully have let some of that go. i am still trying to find a balance where i keep exercising and improving but somehow it's more a natural self driven part of my life rather than a thing i pay for (luis). i really think i need to figure out and start some experiments around my spending habits debt saving -- to find something sustainable that works. is it generating new income? is it cutting all spending down? is it a mindset change? is it saving pennies in a jar?
Anger, indignation, frustration, impatience - they all lead you to the same place in the end: shame. You aren't bad looking, and you need to start feeling that in your gut: it's much more attractive to feel happy with yourself. Try to remember that you can always start again. And that at some point you will. When you were in Kos, you felt a level of distance that allowed you to come home and do your job. You can only thrive if you remember that this isn't the be all and end all. That the world is big and what you're doing actually doesn't matter that bloody much!
I would like to be gracious and compassionate with others. And with myself. I would like to be fully present for friends and family — to see, listen, hear, understand and commiserate. And to help, at least in limited ways, when they want and to the extent feasible. I would like to be fully present for myself — to be a friend to myself, to forgive myself for my limitations and failings, to allow myself to say no. I would like to be authentic and, when needed, firm. I would like to create, to write, and to speak my truths with tact but without self-muzzling.
It is what it is. I predict pain in my shoulder between now and this time next year. I say 'it is what it is'. Stop fretting. Make something out of it. Let the pain fuel my desire to change the world of jiu jitsu.
I want to be able to make informed decisions regarding my life and how I am and will be living it and what I would like to have happen after I die. Winnie and Walter to Gabriel Foundation My body, natural burial to return to the earth I need someone I trust as a guide. I don't know if such a person exist or if I can ever trust them even if they exist and are available to me. I think Rabbi DB and Arielle may be good sources of life advice. ? I am grateful to be able to spend some time with both of them. I still keep in mind what Arielle said once; Show yourself some compassion. And I frequently remember what Janet said once: I just want you to be happy. No one had ever said that to me in my entire life. My advice to self: Pay attention to what you are thinking and edit out the repetitive self destructive stuff. But be real, not Pollyanna.
I still want to travel more. I will get my passport. I want to incorporate the knowledge that most of what I 'think' is happening is only in one part of my (problem solving) mind.
I think, in the coming year, I would like to soften my edges. Meaning, I often see things only in black and white. There is a sharp divide between what's right and what's wrong, and I'm very unforgiving when I perceive my peers to have crossed that line. I know there are reasons for my harshness. I know it comes from a lifetime of fear -- fear of being hurt, fear of being disappointed, fear of being wrong, fear of being vulnerable. But I want to be a gentler person, who is more easily able to see people in their full humanity. That doesn't mean compromising on my values or shying away from polarization when it is politically necessary. But I would like to explore ways to live by my values and fight fiercely for what I believe in without giving in to the temptation to put people into boxes or simplify issues into talking points. And maybe by being gentler, more understanding of the people around me, I can be gentler and more understanding of myself.
I'm always trying to figure out how to rest in my life, and how to frame it in my eyes as something positive, rather than a failure to persevere. I'd like to continue to welcome healing into my life and learning how rest can serve me in more ways than just restoring my energy.
I would like to be less of a procrastinator! It's one of my worst habits and I don't know why my motivation to deal with important things severely lacks. I feel like I am always waiting until the 11th hour to deal with a problem and the last minute stress isn't worth it, I just don't know how to break the cycle.
If I could be future-me and give current-me advice, it would be: Relax into your life. You have what you need - you don't need to look outside of yourself to be whole.
Make more space for me to be me
I'm trying to slow down more, talk with others, be less busy. I do enjoy being busy but I think that being too busy causes me to forget everything that happened in a day, week, set time period. I'm starting to think about what I want to do after college, and I don't think I'll be able come up with good ideas if I'm always cramming events into my schedule. I want to focus on what is meaningful outside the classroom right now...glee club, green fund, smoke free campaign, applying for scholarships. I want to be satisfied with every moment I spend in a day.
Spend more time with loved ones and less time working. I think I'm only learning now how easy it is to fall into a routine that isn't the best way forward for your life. I need to strive to continually push myself forward to accomplish new goals that I set for myself. This year I am going to try my hardest to work less and spend more time with the people most important to me. My mother was the main breadwinner for my family my entire life. She worked long hours and achieved a very high position within her company. It was because of her hard work that my family was able to live in the lifestyle which we did. But recently she told me she wished that she didn't work as hard as she did. Now that we're grown and the opportunity to spend time together is limited, she cherishes her memories of the time we spent together, her career is of little value compared to time with family. I want to take this advice to heart and spend the most time I possibly can with family.
Currently I am improving myself intellectually by following my passion and attending grad school at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. I am working toward obtaining my MFA in interior architecture and design. I would also like to improve myself physically and mentally by going back to eating properly and moving/exercising. Two pieces of advice were offered to the audience during the alumni panel discussion at AAU: 1) it's all about your portfolio; do your best work and present that in your portfolio during interviews!; 2) learn AutoCAD -- every firm looks to hire employees with AutoCAD experience!
As in the last question, I would like to make a total change in myself, but realize that I can't do it all at once. My initial goal is to decide on a job/career and then take it from there. I think that that might be the greatest advice given...don't try to take on too much change at one time. Start with one thing and work up from there.
Hold back at the right times, and let go at the right times!
I will keep my writings from last year as this is a continuous process. I want to keep improving my organizational skills and improve my focus. Try to really focus on doing things completely and well. I want to also maintain last year’s desire to continue to become softer in my communication, in how I talk to people. Be less aggressive.
Be open minded and open hearted. Take more naps.
I would like to be the best version of myself. I would like to have the self confidence that I assume other women have.
I would like to live my path with a joyful and determined heart. The outcome doesn't matter. The past is over. Let go. Don't trade your passions for comfort. Comfort & ease are not fulfilling. Stick with things, even when they're difficult, if they're important. Conflict is inevitable. Assert your needs. But stop living defensively. Follow your own dreams, not the dreams of others. Allow others to love you. Trust others to love you.
Get back in my fitness routine interrupted by summer travel, move and remodel. Just do it!
The last year was a lot about PLANNING. Planning a wedding, buying a house, etc. I want this year to be more about LIVING. Take the time to get into a routine, create my home, exercise, make yummy meals, do art, and have more down time to relax and hang out. I don't have kids yet and I know this time is a special time to be newlyweds, so I want to soak it in.
Know Thy Self Enneagram Vedic Astrology Food as medicine Year round garden Water sourcing Grounding Remember to remember yourself
Don't waste your time on pointless relationships, they'll just break your heart. Find your core, your centre, your stability. Find a reason to live.
Stay on task. Get it done. Doing it feels better than not doing it. There's always time to rest. You don't need to keep relearning lessons, it's ok for them to stick. Believe in yourself. Worthy is irrelevant. It's OK to want. Don't overcomplicate things. Find the easy way. What's meant to be flows easily. Ask for it. Believe you can have it.
ENJOY LIFE. Don't let myself get so overwhelmed by the combination of life and work. I think with my new job that this won't be a problem. I finally want to feel settled and connected and not overwhelmed at the same time. I hope I can achieve that.
Join. Be a part of the community. And make it what I need it to be by admitting/sharing/announcing my needs and goals.
I want to participate more actively toward making the changes that are badly needed in our country and in the world at large. My rabbi said that we are all instruments of change and that we can't allow ourselves to become despairing and apathetic. We must take responsibility at the individual level for struggling to change those things we see that are very wrong.
Fear is a liar.
I would like to continue expanding my knowledge about compositing in visual effects. I've been working in the business for 20 years now, as a lower level artist, and only just getting started into moving up a level. This past month has taught me that I can do whatever I am determined to do- I just have to take that leap. I got that advice from a friend, and now I've leapt and things are going really well so far! Now that I've taken that plunge, I need to persist in this new field and study hard, and do the work that it takes to move up in my career permanently. One more thing I really want to do is get my body into such great physical shape that I don't have to take high blood pressure medications anymore and get out of that pre-diabetes range!
Figure out a "good day" and keep trying to have a good day each day :)
This year I want to grow my patience and my ability to listen with deeper attention. I want to be able to show up in a more meaningful way for my loved ones.
I wanna manage my mental health better.
I hope to be more social in the next year. I can be very insular, especially this past summer, as I've been working on prioritizing my own needs and getting better physically and mentally. It is a journey that will continue, as I'm finally taking time to know myself better and know what I can bring to others. I think it helps to know I have support when I need it, either here in NYC or a phone call away. My advice to myself is to ask for help when you need it and check in with people, even if it's just sending a quick text or dumb joke or meme. It's important to stay connected.
I would like to improve myself by remembering the mantra I have told myself recently - it might sound negative but it isn't when you really think about it: this is the best it will ever be. If I continue to live in the present and not in the past (as in, what if I did X, Y, Z) and not in the future (as in, when this happens, then life will be better) I feel like this will help me preserve and remember the little things (like reading to my 3 year old at night) and cherishing the visits my family makes from afar (versus wishing they were here all the time). Over this past year, I have felt working w/ Amber has bettered me as a person tenfold. She has helped me be a better mom, a better wife, and a better person. I don't know where I would be today without her, and her advice and counsel constantly helps me each week.
This was the first year I streamed a majority of the services. Something that really struck me was the comprehensive and subtle list of sins mentioned in the prayer book. I would like to print them out this year, although that is a bit scary to face them all the time instead of once a year, but man would I be a better person if I kept those things in mind all the time. I would like to be kinder, softer. Also, the first talk of today, asked if a younger self would like our present self. I do not think mine would at all. By this time next year, I hope younger me will like current me. And I endeavor to live the next year with that thought in mind.
I hope to feel more empowered within myself to find my own happiness. I have been, let's say less than satisfied with my life for several years if not like, my entire life really.
Find more peace with your career. Continue to push yourself outdoors. Have a more intention around your life goals. Learn to do less - slow it down and take on fewer projects.
One thing I often tell other individuals is to be on their own time line and not follow the time lines of others. This is a piece of advice I would really like to embody over the next year. I often get stuck feeling like I am moving too slow/too fast, etc in different parts of my life and would like to let this feeling go. I am ok exactly where I am and only need to respond to my own internal cues and not the cues, ideas, or pressures of friends, family or society.
I would like to work harder and practice more. I would like to be more religious and be more hard on myself when it comes to praying and going to the church!!!
I like to be more patient with others and myself, y'know, that "slow to anger, quick to mercy" thing. The best counsel always seems to come from 12 Step Recovery both within and outside the meetings.
I feel like this year I went from being extremely happy, with everything going well with my job, my health and my relationship--to getting laid off, dealing with serious health challenges, and having questions about my relationship. I'm frustrated, and am hoping that I can turn this around by next year. What I hope will help me is that I believe in myself, and I've always been able to get through tough times.
Still feeling unsettled, still looking for my creative layers. Nothing really changes. I guess you could say, I hope my outlook changes.
Let's reflect on last year first. I did update my wardrobe with a handful of stylish new button downs and Bonobos. I fully furnished my apartment after a year. And I did say no to some opportunities and feel good about my level of extracurricular work for this coming year. Now for this coming year: I would like to continue to build my confidence in my choices, my life, and what I do. I would like to stop dwelling on this idea of money and how much money I'm going to make and how much I'm forgoing by being in graduate school. It's not a pleasant topic but I really need to find a way to just get over it. Finally, I would like to get in a better rhythm of eating food each day so I have full meals and actually feel full and I can even gain a few pounds. That would be big.
I want to be less stressed. Less stressed about money. Less stressed about life. And I want to increase my knowledge. I have not learnt enough the past year, academically and life wise. I need to keep learning for my job as a coach, so that I am always trying something and learning from it.
I want to be better at saving money and learn to make my money work for me. My mother was great at this. I wish I had her advice! I would like to have a decent amount in a savings account by this time next year.
I've quit smoking over a year ago and quit drinking almost nine months ago. I feel like it's changing my life for the better every day. I spend my money differently, I spend my time differently . . . judging from what I've been reading, my life might continue to improve. Let's see how it goes next year!
Be kind. I give that advice all the time, but with some people, especially some friends, my first instinct is to be mean or catty or slyly cruel. I hate being that or doing that, and I need to stop, breathe, and choose kindness whenever I’m tempted to do something else.
This coming year I'd like to eat cleaner, and put away money for myself. I'm also going to practice self-esteem while at work and not be so self-deprecating.
I would like to be happier. Nothing in my life needs to change to be happier either. I have a good life, but too often I am just content. I want to make sure that I enjoy the great moments instead of just moving through them.
I would like to become less reactive and more accepting of where people are at without judging. This includes work peers and especially with my husband. I have been told to use the counting method but to practice it 12 times a day!!
Continue in my path of self care and enlightenment. This is really coming from myself but us backed up by multiple people I have come to know.
"Don't Let Your Dreams Be Dreams" I read that in a log book on Blood Mountain in Georgia when I first started the Appalachian trail. It's simple, but it's a Mantra I need to remind myself of almost every day. This experience taught me that it's all about perspective and determination. In the next year I'd like to have more muscular arms. It's vain and kind of dumb, but I've always wondered what it would be like to not be a scrawny guy, so I want to make that happen. I think doing Crossfit again would get me there, but I don't have the money for that right now.
I'd like to be living a $225 lifestyle. In the last year, I learned that this is a chapter of learning from JOY, that I am magnetic when I am happy, and Arianna Noelle is already a significant presence to be. It's time to start living like it, in every way. Specifically? It would be dope to have $10k in the bank. It would be incredible to have long beautiful hair. It would be phenomenal to live with Jelani in a place that we love. It would be incredible to host friends who visit, and to host dinners. I would love to sing in the Hamptons next summer for pay. I'd like to visit London over the next year. Marrakech, Hawaii, and a few other places are destinations as well. Money, Hot Love, and Magic come easily to me. Expansion, Abundance, and Sustainability are the 3 dominant vibrations my energy offers.
Be present in the moment. Remember you don't have to know all the answers. Trust that you are held and embraced.
Just yesterday, someone told me that you should say something if you are not happy about something for any reason, and if you don't feel like you can say anything, there is a problem in that relationship. This is classic advice, but the context in which it was told to me was moving for me and was clarifying. In the next year, I want to be more self-driven and less reliant on others and place my happiness more in my hands rather than letting it rest at the will of others.
Get into a routine. Prioritize self-care. Do your foot exercises. Always listen to your gut. Nourish yourself. Eat more protein.
I’ll just copy paste my answer from last year because it still holds true: “I really want to focus on my writing and improve it. I'm already doing that, and I've improved a lot this year but I hope that in one year I've improved even more. That I'm more confident in it and that. Most. Of. All. I'm still fucking writing. If I've stopped writing by this time next year here's a gentle reminder to my future self: Get your shit together! Start writing again! I know you love it and so do you!”
I would like to feel like i have more of a purpose by next year. I kind of had a plan for when the kids were in school full time, but of course that plan was thrown off track when we moved. Now i dread the questions, "So what do you do all day?" I would like to have a better answer to that question by next year.
Sağlıklı yaşamaya devam! Biraz daha spor koyabilirim hayatıma o güzel olur. Ayrıca iş-hayat dengesini biraz daha iyi kurmak gerekebilir. Özellikle yurtdışı seyahatleri bünyeyi çok bozmadan yaşamak gerekir
I want to focus on loving and accepting myself for who I am, rather than hating myself for who I am not. Every day an opportunity to be better than the day before, but the goal posts for what "better" is needs to be redefined. Self-loathing on this scale is exhausting, and I don't have time for it.
Just get out there and do your best. Leave it all on the field. Then you can rest easy. At Grandpa’s funeral, Jackie Chesnutt shared a quote which he thought Grandpa would love: laugh, think, and cry each day and you will have lived a full day. Grandpa loved god, loved his family, loved his community and loved coffee, and I know he’ll keep guiding me.
breath. just breath. As Sharon salzberg says - and when you notice you aren't doing it; don't judge; just do it again; in the moment it is new again fully transformed.
Again, a lot of self improvement, Stress reduction, health, and time management. I think all these things will improve my quality of life in different but important ways. I'm excited to start working on me. After many years of caring for everyone else, it's time to invest in my health.
I'd like to become more comfortable with my friends and family, with less anxiety. I have a therapist who has suggested EMDR as a path. We'll see where it leads
I need to think in myself... I need to take more risks... and a good advice was.. think 20% act or do 80%.
Next year my major focus is going to be health and finances. As for advice not that I know of.
Relentless forward progress.
Once more for those in the back of the room: Make small, do-able changes to your habits. Small habits add up to incremental change over time. Find new behaviors to replace/compete with problematic behaviors. Crowd out the bad with an abundance of the good. You deserve to live a long, happy, fulfilling, meaningful, full life; you are doing so and you can continue to do so!
In 5779 it's time to become a full-fledged grownup. I turn 60 in January. I'm a Rabbi and a Professor, heck, I'm a Bubbe, so if not now, when? All of my life I have been either financially supported or the second income earner in the family. As a kid my dad worked and mom did all sorts of community things that contributed nothing financially to our home. Most moms in my affluent village did the same and she contributed alot. But she could have earned an income; she was a Registered Nurse, and had she it would have been easier for everyone. Harder, for sure, because she would have not have been my chauffeur to ballet and our chef and home decorator, but her income would have offset alot of manageable challenges. I married right out of graduate school and during my years at university the National Merit Foundation was my "provider." We wanted children and eventually had them so although I returned to Nurse-Midwifery after my second child was two and opened a Birth Center just week's after the third was born mine was never the major income; my husband's was, and for him-Latin professional man that he was-that was just fine. Until he died. Then social security moved into our house as the new provider of security and life insurance was the sugar daddy that allowed the kids and I to travel and have a fully paid off mortgage while prepaying for college and covering the costs of growing humans. Sure, I needed to work. I needed to in order for us to have health insurance! This was preObamaCare when my eldest daughter's TMJ was a preexisting condition, let alone my leukemia! After several years had passed I met Jean, a French engineer in telcom and although we maintained separate homes until my youngest went to college and kept our bank accounts and 401Ks completely independent I acknowledge that the security he provided, as a responsible man with a high income and no responsibility for dependents allowed me to once again consider my earning potential to be insignificant. I earn an income, to be sure, but virtually every penny has a name and most of them are subtitled "Grandchildren's Tuition." I pay for ballet-aka the national war debt- for violin and cello lessons and for fabric. JoAnns is my holy place away from shul, and the day I calculated the cost of the backpacks I created to be twice that of LandEnd, I realized it was not a matter of economy. The same is true of my greenhouse's $14 tomatoes and $40 asparagus stalks where we toil hour after hour fighting the solid soil and arid dessert mountain climate that tourists to Colorado Springs never consider. My income covers these things. Yes, it does. But the cat prefers I order canned food rather than try to make my own for him and Jean's early retirement last year seems to be less a temporary hiatus and more a permanent state so in 5779 it's time for the girl to step it up. It's time to put fear to the curb and earn serious money doing the work for which Adonai has entered my name in the Book of "Get it done." It's not greed. It's responsibility. Becoming financially optimized will mean I am making relationship decisions because I value the great things about this man whose life has been intertwined with mine for 2 decades, rather than because starting over, on my own is financially daunting. He deserves that; and so do I. My grandchildren deserve to know that education--a MSN, PH.D. and Rabbinical seminary- result in income potential. My kids and grandchildren have needs that my creation of wealth-ish can meet, and there are things I want to do with them that require dollars, euros and yen. But most critically, I have been holding off publishing books that are written, edited and ready for print, that must be published. I must teach classes that need to be taught and I must create financial opportunities for people who work for me whose work I value and whose friendship I cherish. How to get past sloth? Over these Days of Awe I've finally accepted that sloth is another name for fear. I'm afraid the book isn't good enough, I'm afraid the course will be too expensive for students. I'm afraid no one will find the conference valid. I've felt this before and each time I do it's like PTSD only it PrefearAvoidance Syndrome (PFAS)that's felling me. I was only 21 when I became a nurse midwife and I looked like a little boy. I feared hemorrhage at every birth; I feared the baby would fail to cry, I feared every time I called for a c/section the Ob would look at me and shake his head and say "This wouldn't have happened if she was going to an OB!" The first two I prevented. The last happened all the time until one day when I grew up and grew a pair and looked one of those Texas Good Ole Boys straight in the eye as he said he'd done three C/sections in a row. "That wouldn't have happened if they'd gone to a nurse-midwife" I announced; then turned on my heel and walked away! I stopped being afraid, and became an ardent defender of a woman's right to choose her own birth provider. I've know that fear as I transitioned out of clinical care into the business of medicine in 1998. My first assignment was to develop programs that would convince federal grant funders to part with 4.5 million...then add a zero. I bought Grant writing for dummies and got to work. While recovering from leukemia my cushy corporate job was moved from Colorado Springs to Tacoma and I knew I could not uproot my kids. I was terrified of the financial impact but there was a cushion of 36 months of unemployment that year so I accepted their offered package and set up shop as a writer of medical articles. The required pace for an independent writer is unbelievable with quotas of polished work that were impossible to meet...until I met "My Man in Indian.com" Each night I'd tell MMII the 10 things I needed to have researched and then, eight blissful hours of sleep later, in my inbox were thirty articles, fully cited and reviewed. I paid them $27 for three hours of their work and wrote 10 articles in 5 hours before the kids came home from school. There is a sea before you and suddenly, it parts. The same happened in Rabbinical seminary...weekly. Fear of being the least competent was not exaggeration in any part of our work requiring use of Hebrew. It helped that another classmate matched my lack of fluency with his own. But then I realized; I have skills. I can write and I can heal, I can motivate and I can teach. So I learned to master the Hebrew my congregation needed; shorten the Parshah and read it line by line in English and in Hebrew. They came to greater understanding - it is estimated that only 10% of a Reform congregation understands the Parsha in Hebrew each week-ridiculous!) and I let go of fear. No I have to do it again. "All forces raised up against you will falter. Armies would stand up against you will fall." Can I respectfully add an andendum? "And, dear people of Mine, that includes all those armies of fears you have created in your imagination. For I, Your G.d am with your always, and together, we've got this!" After all, in the end it's all commentary. Shalom.
I have so many stories and sayings that guide me. This year the Chinese “who can say what’s good or bad” story came back into my life via Shirzad and positive intelligence. The work we did in class has us expand that query to “how can we make it positive?” I like that, and plan to practice that. Another great thing from the course was the vision of making each next step one that shows the most light… Being in a forest and looking at the light from the lighthouse far the distance, and taking the next step forward that has the most light in it. Eventually coming to the beach where you can see you are not alone... and you are with people moving toward lighthouse. And the most important shared realization is no one ever does make it to the lighthouse… No one reaches maximum enlightenment. It’s just moving toward it at all times. That is my goal, just to keep moving toward the light.
Maybe it's okay to actually take time off. Like, for real off. Like, not doing chores or prep or anything. Just... watching tv and drinking tea. That kind of time off. It's ok.
Two things! First, I want to get my artistic skills to the point where I can be creative for a living. Doing office work that anyone could do for all these years is draining the life out of me. Second, I want to become competent at one or both of my instruments, the harp and the ukulele. They bring me joy to have them, but I want to know the joy of making good noises come from them. Completing both goals would leave me with a far more creative life ^_^.
I'm going to try to make time for a class. Something to stretch my creative boundaries. I was inspired by Sande who is taking 3 classes a semester at the age of 85!
Learn how to embrace moments and not live life with so many regrets. I regret not taking advantage of certain moments and I’ll live with my decisions until they fade into oblivion. The advice I received is to breathe.
I want to become more conscious and deliberate in my habits, practices, and choices. It sounds large and vague, but I am shedding the ideas that have weighed me down - the idea of losing weight, of a focus on fitness, on trying to be friends with everyone in my social circle. But to truly be my best self, trying to remove the clutter in my life and mind has led to significant change. From here, I want to fill that space with nourishing practices for wellness and contentment in my life, and send energy to places that serve and fulfill me. Advice that will help is remembering to be “the higher bird.”
Increased self-discipline; work out 4 times a week (DDPY). Explore local parks and get into hiking. Become consistent in prayer and bible reading.
I want to be better about hockey specifically, and health and fitness generally. I don't practise as much as I should, so I'm not improving the way I could be. I skip days and only practise on the ice. I want to get better about that, and the more I do, the better my overall physical shape will get.
I got a tattoo this year of the Teddy Roosevelt quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy." As soon as I read that a couple years ago, it has really spoken to me, and reminded me to be more satisfied and grateful for where I am today, and what I have. It doesn't matter what others have and do. I would like to more fully embrace this motto. I see it on my arm frequently, and it makes me smile and be more satisfied with where I am in life.
I’d like to have a better handle on the sickness and I’d like to reclaim more of my power over my life. I’d like to soften what needs to soften. I’d like to let go and put down things that don’t need to be held. I’d like to move more and lighter.
I need to exercise more. Or at least physically move more. I'm doing pretty well managing my schedule (a wish from last year) by adopting (informally) the block schedule of my kids' school. I guess my style is still more Montessori and freeform, but I'll keep working on that.
This year I want to explore the boundaries of possible. Physically and mentally. I'm picking up parkour and seeing how it goes. I plan to explore what it means to be fully me. I can't think of a particular piece of advice, but I know it will mean continuing to pursue a Buddhist path among teachers like Eli Ryn Brown, Katie Lonke, Pema Chodron and others. I also imagine I'll continue to be inspired by Alok V Menon. They are a beautiful breath of freedom.
I'd like to grow a thicker skin so I can help more people.
I think really focusing on what brings joy and reduces suffering. I want to think about that every day and use it as lens to be centered and grow.
I want to become more compassionate, understanding, supporting, and helpful of my husband. I'm getting better and better at doing this for "others." But I think I have lost my distance from him. I equate him -- and treat him -- like I treat myself, with a level of emotional harshness that is unintentionally very far from the kind of wife that I want to be. I want to learn about him, nurture him, and pour into him so that he can realize the great things about himself. And that does mean doing all of those things for myself as well. Brene Brown will help with that and so will Pema Chodron. And I'll look for more helpers along the way.
I would like to lose weight and gain income. To be honest, nobody has given me advice on either this past year.
I'd like to be better at coaching employees through challenges and to be more confident in my hiring & staff developing decisions when faced with things not going well. I have all of the slogans (hire slowly, fire quickly...the cost of a bad employee, etc.) but something inside me fights against that and I'm not sure what that means.
I'd like to figure out which pieces of myself (my story, my soul, my relationships) I am willing to share with the world and which pieces are mine, or my husband's, or our family's. When I share my story, I immediately jump into the good, bad, and ugly, and while that's great to prove a point, I walk away feeling like I bared my soul in a first date and am uncomfortable with how uneven the exchanges often are. I need to develop stories of other's experiences to substitute for mine so I can keep those private pieces of myself to myself. (as an aside, I'm going to re-commit to embracing the "un-moored" feeling. Instead of working towards that, I made changes- job changes, how I advocated for myself, how I did Jewish, my marriage and relationship with my families, etc. This year, let's just sit with not everything being perfect and see how it feels)
Be patient. Be humble and open to inquiry. Trust my gut.
Last year, I was able to change my habits so that I took my prescriptions every day. I had to recognize, though, that I was skipping my meds whenever I became overwhelmed, so that I would have an excuse not to do everything I was supposed to do. Now, when I am tempted to skip the medications, I recognize the behavior as a symptom of overwork, a way of protecting myself. And I need to say 'no' to requests in order to protect my health. What else can I change? Am I overweight in order to protect myself from something? Are there other things that I consider to be failings that are instead ways my unconscious is trying to help me?
Meditate more, even if it's walking meditation. Don't yell at the kids. It doesn't help, makes them feel worse.
I would like to become more assertive and take more control of my life in the next year. I've been told and also have realised on my own that I should be more effective in my communications. I should not be afraid to ask questions, even in personal romantic relationships, where I tend to avoid the topic at hand, or reach out sooner with questions instead of struggling for a long time with work or other questions. I should also not be afraid to give feedback or tell people how I am feeling about something they did or said. And most importantly, I should start setting boundaries and saying no to things I don't like or want to do. I'd also like to be more accepting of differences in approach to things and interests etc in my personal life. Not just advocate for the right of people to have them in general but also be willing to work with and be in relationships with people who approach the world differently from me. That's not to say I'll compromise on my high standards and values but I should be more accepting of the fact that people might implement the same standards and values in a different way from how I do it. I've been told often in the last year that I need to not see every variance from my approach as a red flag.
I would like to write more and get published. I would like to travel more. My advise to myself would be to save money on other things so I can spend it on travel and retirement!
I will give my own life and lifestyle the same energy that I give to caregiving for my elderly father. I will recall my mother's admonishment before she became ill and passed that she and dad had lived their life and my sister and I were to live ours. Specifically, she said "We had ours. Get yours."
I would like to improve by living in the moment and spending more time with humor and in the company of family and true friends. Spiritual meditations about the present are helpful and guide me.
I would like to develop the "be" part of my block/build/be balance (because it's not balanced yet) by being consistent about having a spiritual practice. The advice I got at the beginning of the training I am doing with the Buddhist Peace Fellowship can help as long as I remember that I "create the container" by setting the intention for the time period, and then whatever I do in that container is practice
oooh. good question. Keep speaking truth to power. Keep thinking about Hannah Gadsby: "...Picasso’s mistake was his arrogance. He assumed he could represent all of the perspectives. And our mistake was to invalidate the perspective of a 17-year-old girl, because we believed her potential… was never going to equal his. ... And the moral of our story is, 'We don’t give a shit. We don’t give a fuck… about women or children. We only care about a man’s reputation.' What about his humanity? These men control our stories! And yet they have a diminishing connection to their own humanity, and we don’t seem to mind so long as they get to hold onto their precious reputation. Fuck reputation. Hindsight is a gift. Stop wasting my time!”
I really want to get physically stronger. I have neglected my body this year and I can see that the vitality I need to live the life I want needs some care in that regard. Why do I have such a resistance to working out? Maybe I need to call it something else so I won't feel so resistant. Instead of going to The Gym, I'm going to go to the Vitality Palace! That's it!!
I need to get our financial affairs in order. That means proper tax planning and accounting for the new tax liability that will come with our receiving Social Security income. How I wish I had thought more about the end of life many years ago, and prepared better. I could have done it - I just concentrated too much on the here and now. I hope any younger people reading this take note of this advice. I've now got five or six years to prepare for my non-working years, which is not nearly enough. Luckily, I work in a field where I'm earning top dollar and will only fail if my mind goes - thank providence I'm not dependent on my aging and breaking down body. The advice I received this year that was most helpful actually came from my baseball loving friend, a clerk in the local liquor store. I'm a financial professional, an expert in all sorts of things, but I didn't know until about a week ago that I could take my full SSI at 66 with no penalty, forfeiture, or limits. I should have, but this is a shout out to "Buzz" for enlightening me on this point. Duh!
To be more giving and kinder to myself and to others. Finally, I need to remember to let go of my ego. I can't compare myself to others, or by an impossible ideal. I have achieved so much, and I should be proud of that.
To be employed full-time in a job that I enjoy, with a great boss, have great benefits and make a very good salary. That would definitely improve my financial situation, which would improve my life greatly. I already have a part-time job that I enjoy and have a great boss and my income has almost doubled this past year - so I’m half-way there already. With additional income I will also continue to do more major house projects such as get the house painted and replace my furnaces and some plumbing pipes, etc. The counsel that I’m receiving from God is guiding my every step perfectly.
I want to keep in mind two things: 1. "It's easy to just do it." -- When I feel myself starting to not do something because "I don't feel like it," I want to remind myself that "It's easy to just do it." Sit down at the computer, unload the dishwasher, make a phone call, whatever. It's easy to just do it. 2. "Is there a lion?" -- I carry so much tension all the time, and it helps when I remember to ask myself, "Is there a lion?" If there's not an imminent threat to my life, then there's no need to be tensed to fight or flee.
"Start each movement with a breath" Brian, the Yoga teacher. I'd like to find a better balance between work/computer and free time. I hope to exercise more and feel great.
Lately I've been focusing on how I can learn to operate my life with less stress. I would like to incorporate meditation, nature, breathing and be gentle and forgiving with myself. I'd also like to allow myself the possibility of running early/on time instead of late. It creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety. No particular advice comes to mind but I have friends who live their lives this way and it's something I admire. By engaging in conversation about their practice, expressing interest in making changes and applying parts of these practices to myself, I will continue to grow. It doesn't happen overnight.
This year, I want to work toward goals I want. I want to improve my skills. As Nike says, Just Do It.
I'd like to spent the next 12 months still working on setting ourselves up. We’ve moved forward fairly significantly, and I’m proud of what we’ve managed. I’d like to stay focused on making little steps and being happy while doing it.
Taking care of myself and balancing all my responsibilities while not feeling resentful. My guiding quote is “The grass is greener where you water it”.
I would like to be physically and mentally healthy. At least be 200 lbs this time next year. And be kinder to myself. Be more proactive in taking care of my needs. Look after myself before I can help others. And not caring so much what people think of me. I have to realize I can not control their opinions about me. It is okay if I am not liked but least respected.
I want to be more peaceful. I'd like to let things bother me less, get out of the habit of making conversation by complaining, be less afraid to speak my mind and know when to walk away (and be able to do so easily).
Be less insecure. Or as Akasadaka said, "Just get over yourself."
I think that I need to work on following Teresa's advice about making decisions and taking a stand on things I like, want, etc. I am not sure what this looks like or how i will work on it, but I do believe her that people who ask for what they want and who are clear on their opinion are happier and more likeable.
I want to do yoga daily, diversify my vegan diet and fix my teeth.
I think the biggest guiding advice for me this year has been to live the life I have and choose to be the good I want to see in the world at every opportunity. Yoga has made an enormous difference in my happiness and self-awareness. My body and mind are changing slowly in really positive ways.
I want to spend less time on my phone. That will help me be more mindful and in the moment-- and have better sleep hygiene.
Be must less judgmental toward yourself and others. You don't know everything and can not judge. Be less of a talker and more auctioneer.
I would like to continue improving my communication abilities and openness with others. I am reserved, without a doubt--but I am beginning to see the ways that trying to not need people in my life is holding me back from a life that is as exuberant and vivacious and colorful as it can be. Best advice I've had so far this year is simply to start asking.
I want joy and happiness back in my life. I don't want to be perky - just want to feel a sense of hope and joy again. I need to find my own happiness and not predicate it on the presence and/or state of someone else.
Welcome in all the emotions, even sadness or anger or grief and stop labeling them as negative. Ask them what information they have for me, recognize it all as a part of myself and be glad these parts exist too.
I would like to discontinue my "yes, but" pattern of thinking. It's the thinking that keeps me in my dwell trap, where I ruminate and obsess over things and make issues when they don't exist. I can sometimes be a prisoner to my mind and I'd like to liberate myself just a little bit more over this next year by drawing awareness to when I get caught in the pattern.
We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. This is the stuff empire bulders are made of [a cooperative person who knows how to appease, manipulate and see things from different perspectives]. You don't have to be great to get started. But you have to get started to get great.
I'm largely satisfied with my life in many areas, I just would like to move ahead with my work. I've been on a plateau. I would like insight in what to change about what I'm doing that isn't helping.
i'd like to just explore myself further. stretch the limits of the femme side, and make steps toward top surgery, at least getting my foot in the door. each passing year makes me more aware of how restricted i am by gender stereotypes, and each year i make moves to stray further away. i hope i get that tattoo, because i feel like it's going to add another dimension that will suit me well. i hope i get a better grip on my facets of gender expression, and a wardrobe to match. i haven't received direct advice as such, but andrea gibson made me realise that the way i am is okay, and there's always room to grow. each day i take the pieces of yesterday that i liked and use them to build myself anew, and i need to remember that it's never the wrong time to start fresh like that, re-evalutate myself and alter course as needed.
I am so happy I have made major inroads with last years goals...I am calmer and more balanced and have changed my attitude to work. I’d like to push myself out my comfort zone a bit more this coming year...try some knew things .
Here's a big one. I am going to live as though I matter. I haven't been very good at that up to now but I've recently taken steps (changing my diet etc) that have made a difference and I am actually feeling like I am entitled to proritise my health and wellbeing. Which should be obvious but it hasn't been the case and this is the reason why my previous years' answers about exercise and fitness have come to nothing. But no, I am *entitled* to choose to eat food that makes me feel healthy and energetic rather than food that is convenient but makes me sluggish. I am *entitled* to take time for exercise and to prioritise it. I am *entitled* to spend money on things that help me feel well (vitamins, fitness trackers, exercise classes, leggings that don't fall down) I am *entitled* to want my body to be healthy and ... yes, to feel sexy. I've lost a stone so far since spring. I've cut my hair short, I had my eyebrows shaped and dammit, I'm going to make the most of what I've got. I'm as young as I'll ever be so now is the time.
I desire focus. It's missing piece.I want progress.I want understanding. But it's all in the process.So I'd say remember the process.That's the thing. Money."Love".Victory. Those are outcomes. You don't control them. You control the process.
I would like to live into the quiet and focused part of life. I was talking to L today, and she was saying how I have a lot of energy, and although it is a wonderful quality, it is also an "addiction". My job this year, is very focused - which is so different than anything I have ever done before. I hope to be able to contain my energy, not to lose it or be frustrated by it, but to use it in a smaller more focused way.
Exercise more, to have more energy.
All you have is your time. Use it well, because each passing minute is gone when the next comes. Only you can decide what your time is worth.
Next year, I would like to start off by not giving too many fucks around. There’s only so many things in this world that one should give a fuck about, and things like your reputation, status, clothes, shouldn’t matter. What you should give a fuck about, are things like your independence- are you paying for everything by now? Are you budgeting your income and savings well? Are you relying on anyone on anything a little too much? Give a fuck about intelligence- Are you taking time to learn something new that you don’t learn in the lecture room? Are you taking time to improve yourself by reading, listening, watching? Are you better as a person today than yesterday? Give a fuck about family- go give everyone a hug and don’t forget to tell them you love them, assuming you’re still in the house. (Of course you are, you don’t have enough money to move out yet, but definitely do so before you start your law degree babe)
I would overall like to not be so critical of myself. Yesterday, I talked to Shayna on the phone, and we talked about how I tend to define my self-worth based on other people's responses to me. That is really not a healthy way to go about life, so I'd like to minimize that, to reframe negative self-talk, to do less comparing of myself to others. Even as I write it, I can feel comparisons creeping it, but I think that's what makes it such a necessary change, such a necessary goal. I guess I would take my own advice and realize that 1) I am a PiP (Person in Progress), and I have to be kind to myself because of this and b) Just because something doesn't match my expectations doesn't mean that it's worse or "less than."
I am going to meditate for 10 min every day. It's my bday gift to myself and it started yesterday and my goodness, if I can't deliver this gift to myself why could I expect anyone else to. I want to achieve something that I set out for myself, I want to give myself wellness and peace, and I want to improve as a human being for my kids. Period! I'm DOING IT! and other things, but that's the big one.
I'd like to become more in tune with my spiritual side, I want to learn and read more. I want to give more. I am inspired by those like Vanessa who have helped me so much and given wholeheartedly. I'd like to do the same for others.
Simplify, slenderize, and tighten up. Aunt Lee advised me to let go of the drag, focus on doing what I want to do, and grow turnips.
I want to work on my anxiety and self-esteem, but always remembering that "the greatest wisdom is to realize one's lack of it". I need to feel better about myself, but I can't forget to take care of other people. I also want to keep cultivating my relationships in the best way I can.
I want to hike even more. I want to be happy and satisfied. I want to meditate daily. I have been working very hard to get better mentally. I intend to continue.
Within the next year, I would like to improve my budgeting skills. I haven’t been very good at budgeting. I tend to way overblow my budget, and if I want to pay off my credit card debt and save to buy a house and raise babies, I need to learn how to save better. I think Haley Stewart’s book The Grace of Enough is going to help me tremendously in learning how to stop overspending on things I don’t need.
I want to move towards achieving my long terms goals - working on cancer and medicinal research, helping others to be their best selves, empowering others to do their best work. I want to be more calm, more confident in my own abilities and standing, and feel like I'm not constantly missing out on something else. I want to feel happy where I am, which can only come with meditation, work, active acceptance, and loving myself as much as I love those around me. "One person cannot carry a community alone" - to me this emphasizes our need for community and to rely on each other. We can lead, but we need others to carry each other. We can't do our holy and important work without others, without love, and without loving each other.
I'd like to keep up the things I've chosen to invest my time and energy into when it comes to improving myself: staying healthy/active, and reading 50 books every year!
I really want to focus more on loving myself and making decisions which show that - which treat my body with love and care, and which I am proud of and which reflect my morals. I want to focus on putting good things into my body, keeping my body well-used and exercised, and making good sleep choices. But I also want to increase the effort and time I'm putting into my art, and really work on following through with different things in my life.
No council, unless quiet and time are teachers. Oh, wait. I would like to get really fit, and practise more profound humility.
I would like to be more open to criticism and more patient. The best piece of advice is probably just to take three deep breaths before I say anything...
I know I should eat less salt, fewer salty snacks and treats, exercise more, read more, spend less time playing fucking "New Star Soccer" or whatever my latest mild addiction is on my phone. I don't have the willpower. Or I know things aren't serious enough yet. But I'll probably regret it one day. But why not enjoy life? Why feel guilty? It's an ongoing thing that I've probably written about in previous years. I should get more sleep. Phone my parents more often. Is it getting boring yet? It's a tradition that I bang on about the same old things until eventually I realize that I've changed. It's worked in other parts of my life, so why not this one?
All of my life I’ve struggled with self confidence. As I continue to get older I’m becoming more comfortable with myself but I still beat myself up on a daily basis about things. I honestly don’t know where it comes from (cue I probably need a therapist 😆) but it weighs me down. I’ve got a great job, a great family, a great group of friends, etc. but I constantly view myself as an inferior person. I think it stems from me being 34 and not having have accomplished all of the things that 34 year old females are supposed to have accomplished (especially in the south). I’m not married and I don’t have 2.2 kids living in a house with a white picket fence. I’d love to finally shake my insecurities and be comfortable and confident in all regards of myself over the next year. I’d love to stop comparing my journey in life to others. I think I’d be a happier person.
I would like to put my nose to the grindstone even more and become an expert in my field (or at least get well on my way there). The best piece of advice I received this past year was from my therapist, an elderly man I met at shul. He said that it's not always about the end goal, but the journey. We can always reroute and make changes as we go, but once we reach the end we have to accept that we've reached our goal and then set a new one. I've met many folks who remind me of me, or at least who I'd like to be in this industry, and I want to be like them.
I would like to be less addicted to technology, especially my phone. It doesn't provide me with health, happiness, or any tangible benefit, and it distracts me from the things that are actually important. I don't need to give it up, but I need to rely on it less.
Brene Brown's Rising Strong came to me at just the right time. I want to be more fully integrated by this time next year, with clearer boundaries and stronger hold on my integrity. I want to be taking better care of myself, and more secure in my relationship.
I want to live more in the moment. I often find myself thinking about the future or "what ifs" and I feel like I can't enjoy the experience I am currently in.
I would like to improve my health, both physically and mentally. That it is ok to feel shit and that everyone heals and processes at different levels.
I would like to seriously tackle our household clutter in a way that makes a lasting difference. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up ~ KonMari Method has been recommended to me, and I'd like to purchase the book and learn about it.
When looking for that person, that life partner person, listen to the advice that you got at work earlier this week: You want to say "Fuck Yes!" to and about them, and have them say "Fuck Yes!" to and about you.
I want to learn how to forgive and move forward. I've finally found a great therapist and feel like I am doing the work. I need to be real with myself. I need to be gentle with myself on the progress I am making. I feel like if I can do the work, I can be a better person.
I would like to be a better PT- more knowledgeable, better critical thinking. Eat, sleep, and live healthy. Feel good about my body. Drink a lot of water.
Stand firmer, both physically and spiritually. Stop allowing others in their brokenness and woundedness to proscribe who I am.
Rabbi Greyber told me the thing we have to do when we are despondent and broken-hearted is sing. i laughed when he said it because i thought it was a joke. but he quickly confirmed how serious he was. i think he’s right. and still i can’t find the heart to do it. just this past week i have started singing to sebastian at bedtime again. it’s been over a year. it feels like a step. i hope in the next year i can muster enough scraps of joy in my heart to sing more.
Except use daily Eat well Be kind to myself and my loce
Take the actions you know to take - I have really enjoyed Mel Robbin's work. She's motivational and also so practical - and so much of what she says I can relate to. That procrastination is a form of being overwhelmed =truth bomb. That I don't pursue my goals, etc because of 'busyness' = truth bomb. I want to act in ways that support my goals. Also, I should probably work on being a better wife and partner.
I would like to take each day at a time, celebrate my successes, and let go of the missteps as quickly as possible. When I make mistakes, I'll learn from them, and I'll make them right. After that, I'll move on and move forward.
Get to the dishes on Tuesday... or Wednesday. Spend less time on labor, both physical and emotional. Sit on a chair in your weedy, overgrown yard and drink your damn coffee. Help Ellie throw more toys on the floor. Same hope from last year- realize it more this year! Practice, practice, practice!
I have so many parts of myself and my life that need major and minor overhauling. I know that my general unreliable organisation skills and the way I function through gut and mood prevents me from accomplishing way more than I have. My mantra is that I am proudly unambitious, but I only say that because I feel a lofty distaste for anything done for anything other than itself. It's a lazy disingenuous stance, though it is an honest feeling most of the time, as I am fully aware of the times it's a convenient turn of vice into virtue. I am sometimes lazy and feel no guilt for it. But there is so much I do want to do and my disorganisation has a lot to do with it. But then I'm unsure of its source. Yes, I'm a single mother with no family here, raising three children and working two part time jobs, and around to take the kids to school, pick them up and stick around. I take time for my social life, which partly consists of supporting my friends through crisis and I have no household help, car, fall-back plan, higher education or savings. And in the practical, I live a pretty good life, so it's with indulgence I complain. I suppose I've chosen my course. I have zero financial security which is rocky in itself, but I've chosen to be available for my kids and so I will have to wait until they are older to find a better, more secure income and start saving and all that mature stuff. I can save now and pinch every penny, but then my children will grow up with a sense of lack and I've done that already in my own childhood and the aftertaste is uninviting. And besides, I can save and suffer and something will come along that will make it all suck later anyhow. I hope not, but my philosophy is live joyously now, but don't be too idiotic, so that when things go to shit you'll manage. But I function so well when my day, my week is organised, my house, my routine, my everything has a plan that gets revamped every month to adjust to growth. I need to be a better mother. We always need to be. Lately I've felt a little sucked dry. Not that my kids are the reason for it- they are pretty amazing kids who are relatively very well behaved and a lot of fun. I feel so depleted often, that I don't feel I give them quite enough. I don't nurture them as much as I feel I could be. And that, I think, is down to doing it all alone, and not having my own source of nurturing. And that is something I cannot do much about, though I do as much as I can to outsource support and nurturing from friends.. But it isn't the same. Hopefully I can improve on those two things I can actually control somewhat. I don't know if there is particular good counsel from this past year to guide me in any of this, other then take care of yourself. The more I do, the more I have the drive for everything else. But I've always known that. I can't tell myself to act against my gut, it never works, but I always come round the circle again. A bad habit is never final. I just need to push myself that little bit more. And failing that, somehow turn the non-pushing it into something virtuous.
I'd like to take time to relax. I need to remember that it's okay to say no and that it's okay to just chill. I'd like to start reading books again. Not every moment needs to be jam-packed or super stressful to make life meaningful.
I would like to be more deliberate about my goals. I did a great job deciding what I wanted to accomplish with my physical fitness (weightlifting for a solid year!). I'd like to apply that same long term determination and planning to other aspects, like artistic endeavors.
Same answer as last year...still need to lose weight, still need to try and regain my mobility. New goal is improving my drawing and painting skills. Advice to self? Don't be so hard on yourself.
Get rid of the clutter and stop accumulating it.
My parenting advice would be to do what is natural and works for us. Ignore the internet. Trust my instincts. Work on exercise and a healthier lifestyle and balance
Think less. Act more.
I need to become more patient, and I need to stop procrastinating so much!
I need to get better at doing things I don't want to do. My whole life I've had a habit of just... procrastinating until things become dire, or just drop off entirely. I need to work on not doing that. I don't think I've received any specific advice on this point, but I will certainly look for any that might help me reframe tasks in my head to make them easier to tackle.
I'd like to continue to improve my relationship with my body. It's so much better than it has ever been, but it will be easy to let that be the last priority with my growing family and growing practice. I need to remind myself that I live in plenty - I don't need to grab every client I can, I don't need to spend every waking moment at my full potential. I am enough and whatever I can do is a start. I can make time for this.
I want to make working out and meditating/self-care a regular thing, not just an occasional fad. It's about scheduling it and not backing down, and then appreciating how you feel after to reward yourself.
I'd like to come to the realization that I'm responsible for my own happiness, be intentional about my choices, and pursue the actions that lead to fulfillment. This might apply in several realms -- for instance, overeating when I'm stressed or lonely, deciding when to see friends, and making choices among family, work, and self care.
Take one day at a time. Don't let the little things get to you. Never second guess yourself and always stand tall and proud behind your beliefs. Never feel the need to explain yourself, especially an opinion.
Live a life that you will be proud of.
Every year of life, I learn more and more not to make a big deal out of life events. Some things seem very big in the moment, and in the long run (or even earlier than that) they suddenly seem much less significant, and it's easy to regret overreacting. I want to be able to enjoy life more, make more time for physical activities and friends, and live life in the moment without making too big of a deal of any situation.
I want to continue reinforcing that Hashem is my King, Who Loves me and put my all into a relationship with Him. Ask yourself: where is this choice taking me? Is it suitable for my ultimate purpose?
Self-improvement is not a concept with which I'm comfortable. I prefer progress. Progress is nebulous unless one has set a standard... which often is in need of updating. Spiritual progress is particularly hard to define. So I'll just leave it at working on my jump shot - and coach told me to focus on the front edge of the rim, and push just a skosh.
I continue to follow a couple of guiding words: 1- say yes to opportunities. When something unusual comes along, go with it. Take a trip when someone offers a visit. Go to a concert even if it means going alone. Take the promotion. Agree to lunch with a coworker. 2- do things that make me uncomfortable. don't stay on the couch (even though it's safe, comfy and my home) and miss a chance to meet like-minded people or try new things. Visit Bisbee overnight. Engage in small talk. Open myself up to human connection. Be vulnerable.
As always, I'd like to up my yoga/meditation/exercise routine so I am taking better care of my body and mind. The counsel that could guide me is my own counsel: trust your intuition. ALWAYS
Since it's been on my mind lately, the main thing I can think of is financial improvement. Earlier this year, I got a new job which offered me a 25% pay increase, which after-tax and bills feels like almost a 40% increase. I was barely making ends meet before, but I was. So the increase gave me a whole new level of freedom and room for enjoyment. But I'm backing down from that and trying to implement a tighter budget so I can afford a new car, and possibly other things in the future. I'm in my first 2 weeks of a new budget, and it's kind of scary. I know I've never been the MOST financially responsible, but I've been working really hard over the past couple of years to remedy that, to make changes, and to dig myself out of a hole. With some success! I want to keep it up.
I'd like to have finished working the 12 steps (and made amends and all the spiritual work that goes along with doing that). I'd like to be able to point to several recurring ways in which I am of service to other people.
I would like to find the right work-life balance for me, which will likely involve moderating my ambition and competative nature somewhat. I would like to use the extra time to improve my relationships, with my partner, my family, and my friends, as well as develop my personal interests and hobbies further. Advice: it's not new, but that people seldom regret not having worked more!
I'd like at least one friend that I really enjoy and who has time for me (it's hard to find both). I'd like to be doing less FOR people. I'd like to be more physically fit. I'd like to have a yard relatively free of weeds. I'd like to be on a road towards Foster care. I'd like to have learned some new tools from work that I can translate into another job. I'd like to learn to say no to things that I don't enjoy, yet feel compelled to do. I'd like to be free from fear of telling people how much I love and enjoy them. Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no".
Mindfulness practices in life and particularly in how I treat my body with nourishment. I want to improve how I feed myself, my soul, and my brain by eating whole with less treats, attending and participating in services, and reading more for fun. A colleague told me about mindful eating, something I had never thought about before. I hope to live next year in the year and be present.
Best advice I received in the past year was just to reach out to everyone, don't hold back. You will never know what kind of response you will get until you try. In the next year, I would like to push this boundary for myself and not be afraid of sending the email, calling the contact, or talking to that colleague. I'm braver than I think.
There are many pieces of advice that I hope will help me improve next year. For one, the book Start Where you Are is very influential, and I would like to improve myself using it as a guide - by showing more compassion, being more mindful and possibly by meditating. A good friend also told me that I seem to only "tolerate" my friends, and I should look for friends who I have hobbies in common with instead. I think this was a great piece of advice and I hope being in San Francisco I'll be able to find "my people".
Movement. Just freaking move. Remember what it felt like to be inspired all the time.
I want to continue to shape my life so that it supports my goals. It is getting easier and easier to be the way I want to be, because I'm clearing obstacles to good choices, and erecting obstacles in front of ones that don't serve me. I almost never say never, but I say a lot of "not now", and it's making me stronger every day.
I would like to integrate and practice Stoicism, not merely read about it. Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what’s outside your control. That’s all we need to do.
Living under this current Presidency has taught us a lot. I have no ill will toward anyone. I just have a deep desire to care for peoples of the world-- especially children-- and Mother Earth. It is not happening under this Administration. It has taught us all that connections with others are important. To never give up is important. It has taught us a lot about the abilities of people to live in complete denial, to live every day telling lies and the people will believe it who want to. We must stay focused, be vigilant, promote unity, education, and caring amongst the peoples of the world.
I would like to stay on the trajectory that I am on with my diet, work out schedule, and meditative time. I have not been back to pilates, like I mentioned last year, but I have begun my home workouts to supplement the yoga. I've also returned to more of a vegetarian diet with only healthy cuts of meat when I do eat meat, and I hope to get even better with this by next year. My meditative time is again something I make time for, and by this time next year I would like this to be a regular occurrence.
Listen twice as much as I speak. Work on exercising and losing weight.
I'd like to be less anxious and stressed about everything, be more secure and content with what I have. Being able to let go easily. Meditation and self-help kind of books have been key for this. Taking in the good like they say in "Hardwiring the brain" is right now my favourite read and it's helping a lot with these issues.
That as difficult as it is, sometimes you have to make the leap. Take a breath and throw yourself into the deep end. Don't overthink and just do the best you can towards yourself.
Just seek the Lord and His will. I want to be a better Christian. Better in my walk with God than I am now.
Two things. Once again, I need to establish a solid self-care routine when I'm well, so that when I inevitably find myself in a mental health spiral, I'm not totally out of my depth. I've talked about this endlessly in therapy, how I know what I need to do when I'm struggling and just can't seem to do it. I know that part of the answer is having healthy practices when I'm doing well. I'm not totally sure what the barrier is to taking action on that, but I hope I figure it out enough to take the actions I know I need to take. Also, as always, I'm working on not being so emotionally reactive. So many people have called me out on not owning my feelings, not speaking up, not setting boundaries. It's true. And then, every so often, I totally explode on someone. I resent everyone who has ever told me that I need to just take a deep breath and calmly state my feelings/thought, and I know thy're right. I just want to be able to trust myself in this area a bit more.
While happy with the improvement in my cooking skills, I now need to improve with daily and more long term menu planning. I also want to continue to work on my social skills. No specific advice from the last year stands out, but I try to continue with the advice from last year: It's not all about you; let go; be patient/have faith, as well as my mantra: love & gratitude.
Get focused at work, get more done in less time. Stop wasting time in non-achieving behavior.
Let people come to their own conclusions and ‘follow their own path’. Don’t try and fix everything for everyone. Especially if you haven’t been asked!
I’d like to spend more time outside and less time looking at screens.
I would like to take seriously the idea that my flaws are hurting others (and myself) and that in order to actually live a useful, productive, life, I need to repair my flaws. Tikkun Olam, whether it's conducting my self well in the world, or "repairing" the world, can only happen after I've repaired myself. I can't go full speed ahead, Type A, and assume that what I have to offer is good just because I'm willing to give it. I have to offer something of real value to the world. I need to create that value in myself this year.
Not sweat the small stuff. I get caught up on the most minuscule details and I really need to take a deep breath and look at things from more of a big picture perspective.
I keep hearing my therapists voice in my head to have more compassion and love for myself. This is a constant challenge for me to work through. I'd like to be more in the moment and not stress about what potentially can happen or what is to come. I'd like to really listen to this advice and not be so hard on myself.
I still want to be kinder to myself. I think I have been, and more tolerant of others. I remain faithful to the adage that you cannot change other people's behaviour, just yours towards them. If someone is mean or hurtful, telling them so in an aggressive way will not change their minds. I guess Frozen got it right with 'Let it go' - that's my mantra for the next 12 months.
I know I should strengthen my knowledge in French. Plus it would be fun to get back to "school". Money is a bit of an issue though. But there are ways. When starting my job, I was told that languages are always a good thing. Yup, I need to learn.
I would like to make more of an effort to connect with my friends everyday lives. Text more often, send letters and birthday cards. I would also like to acknowledge special moments and make more effort to give/make little gifts for new home, new job etc
I would like to execute Deep Work more. And beyond that, I think I tend to feel unhappy with myself if I don't put in a certain amount of quality work into my day. I would like to go to sleep each day happy.
I want to be able to worry less and enjoy life more. I need to laugh more regularly. Advice I received...don’t take life so seriously. I also want to complete a legacy statement for my adult children and grandkids.
I would like to learn how to live more mindfully.
Well as always I’d like to be healthier, but not just by going to the gym. I’d like to focus not only on my physical health but also my mental and emotional health as well. I also want to be more open to human connection. I’m pretty good, if not great at this with my students, but in my own life I find it very hard to be vulnerable and open up to people. I’d like to work through this in the coming year.
I want to be gentler with myself. Loving and being kind to myself means that I need to stop beating myself up every time I feel like I'm not living up to these ridiculous standards that I've set for myself.
I want to care more about my family. Put them first. I have always known that they will always be there for me, but I need to act on that more. I need to always be there for them too.
I would like to incorporate more disipline into my life. My life is better and I am more peaceful and productive when I allow order and disipline to rule the day. This extends to my exercise and nutrition, and especially my finances. I have a great deals to live within my means, and to substantially reduce if not entirely eliminate my debt.
I have this problem of inaction. I know the things I need to do, but I have trouble actually doing them. I prefer to sit around and watch TV or read or scan recipes rather than making calls or doing research that could help me figure out my future. I don't think it's exclusively that I'm scared--I think some of it is pure procrastination, but to an extreme extent. I need to somehow prioritize the important things. I think being in a routine can help that, but that's hard without working. I need to learn to create a routine for myself that is not necessarily reliant on outside commitments. I think that is an important goal for the coming year.
I would like to use more of the cycle of waste/cycle of value in my life. It sounds easier than it is. I would also like to do more art or artsy projects. I would like to figure out how to improve communications with family members. It is challenging with having a new family member. Everyone has their own agenda and a lot is there but is not clearly communicated. We can't change others, so that means we have to work to be as clear as possible.
Number One: behave more like a male executive. Be more authoritative and less deferential; take more risks; act certain even if I'm not 100%; call people out plainly but without emotion. Be more forceful! Be an expert! ...I honestly don't know if this will be for the better, but after a year of this - well, I'll know which 'me' gets better outcomes. lol!
I'd like to be writing creatively more. A friend reminded me that its the only thing I'll leave behind and that it's important, to have something that's just yours... mine. Also, I hope to have a stable meditation practice. It's important to me but it's been difficult to institute regularly.
As usual, I'd like to lose weight.
I would like to actually lose the weight that I have been trying to lose. I've gained a little more since last year. I'm going in the wrong direction! Also, Q-TIP. Quit taking it personally. I was up and down on self-care this past year. I can do better. I need to do my physical therapy for my knees and my back. Basically, I need to do the things that I know I need to do.
One of the general trends of things I want to do is to live a more meaningful life. how? Be deliberate in how I spend my time. I want do deep work and be satisfied. I want to not be stuck in a rat race but instead do meaningful work that helps others. I try to use my bullet journal to measure various standards. I also try to meditate to increase my focus, to be more calm, and settle the mind. I want to have a couple projects where I dedicate my time. I don't want to waste my time.
I hope to continue practicing grace and gratefulness. I am feeling like parts of my life are bright and shiny and new, and I want to continue to cultivate that appreciation over the next year. Life isn't always easy, and not everything in life is 'good' but I want to be mindful of the fact that life is full of opportunities to do the next right thing and learn and grow. Growth can take so many forms, emotional, intellectual, community, physical.
I would like to improve myself by learning when the ball is in my court, and acting upon it. There are things in life that are outside of my control, and there are things within it. I need to learn which things are within my control, and control them, and leave the other things alone. When I do this, I will stop worrying and being upset about the things that I couldn't possibly change, and I will fix the things I can so that they do not worry or upset me.
"Find where your great joy and the world's great hunger meet." I was told this by a college professor. Right now, I'm serving only the world's great hunger. I want to continuing doing so, but find my great joy in the next year.
I heard a quote a few weeks ago that really tickled me, "Don't take life too seriously, no one makes it out alive." Over the next year, I hope to more wholly embrace that concept.
I would like to improve myself by living more in the moment. I tend to dwell so much on things that I can't control and then I work myself into stress. I want to try and just be more present in the coming year.
Being in therapy is changing my understanding of, well, everything. I would like to be more comfortable in my body. I think this means smaller, definitely less huffing and puffing. I would also like to feel comfortable with my relationship with food and with eating and to understand if weight loss is something I can achieve without resuming my negative, black/white thoughts about food and eating. I'm frustrated by my lack of weight loss but,... I don't think happy is the right word? "Happy" with my changing thoughts and relationship with food, my relationship to other people and my feelings about how they eat. I see positive change. I don't even know if I can call it improvement but positive change. I would like to get to the feeling that it is "improvement".
trust the univers. das universium ist immer auf deiner seite. vertraue dem leben. ich will mehr in das universum und das leben vertrauen.
To grow into the archetype of the Garden Crone, to dismiss fear with a wizened "ha" exhale of the breath. To remember my grace. To show up, not just for me but more, because I touch other people. To radiate love, raised spirit of wind horse, and fearless joy.
One recurring statement I keep hearing, is that I already know the answers. In order to hear them, I just need to listen. I plan to listen more carefully to myself.
I would like to become more focused, and be able to say I accomplished something. For example, got as far as I could with algebra review. Or, learned more German. Or, even, read every book club book...in time for the meeting! I think that all the advice I've gotten over the past year has pertained to taking care of myself while taking care of seriously sick husband - take time, be nice to yourself, etc.
Yeah the old cliche "you can't take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself." Well. It's really hard to do that sometimes. Because, you know, life and responsibilities. So I'm going to work on it -- but tell people the STFU if they give patronizing advise on self care.
I would like to improve family communication and making joint decisions. When I start something or want to do something, it doesn't work very well if it is supposed to be a group thing and the other people aren't interested or don't agree to do the parts I want them to do. If we had discussions and made decisions together, I think plans and new habits would stick better. Even "family meeting" discussions need to be like this. I'd like to improve my own follow up and follow through on plans and habits. Recently I heard the phrase "Not my circus, not my monkeys." I looked up the Polish proverb and found the short meaning to be "not my problem." One blogger was more thorough. "Not my circus" means that I'm not the one in charge. I shouldn't give direction and expect people to do what I say. "Not my monkeys" relates to my responsibiliy; is this task or decision my responsibility? If not, then let it go. If so, then take care of my monkeys!
I would like to take the reins on the direction of my life in a way I haven't before. I do not have major regrets about my life to date, but I feel that I am coming into a new phase in which I now know a lot of things I didn't when I was younger and it is time for me to make educated choices instead of allowing fate or happenstance to carry me along. There is a lot I want to do, and I think it starts with me learning to better hold myself to my own commitments.
I want to introduce meditation regularly to my own life and my family's. One piece of advise I heard was 'don't take that on', and it has stuck with me and is helpful to me in so many situations. I think meditation will further that attitude of not taking on things that don't really pertain to me.
I want to worry less. I want to get truly organized and feel self-sufficient. I want to get back to a regular schedule with church and PEO. I think I've done pretty well otherwise this past year, but I know that I've internalized far more how much the smallest kind things mean to those in bad situations. Just try to be kind to people, even when you have no idea if it matters to them, because it might.
While I rapidly pull farther and farther from society- having deleted all my social media a few months ago, rarely checking my phone, hiding from concrete, etc- I need to improve my communication with my parents. The acknowledgement is there- I know I suck at keeping in touch with them- but for some reason the motivation is not. I need to show them the respect and love that they deserve on a regular basis.
I feel like I ought to say that I would like to trust more and get better at following up. Those are responsible other-oriented things to say. I would like to get better at just Being, particularly being alone. I think I'll do better at staying connected to others when I do better at being okay with Me.
Reviewing things from last year: 1: Getting to bed earlier. working on it. Past 7 days, 6 bedtimes have been before 1 AM. Last night was at 12:30 AM. 2: Much better about wasting less time in mornings. 4: Very likely am hitting writing time of at least 1 hour/day. 5: Group activities: I added GISH. Possibly trivia is next. 3: This is the one I didn't put enough energy into. (Correction: I did put -some- energy in, but didn't have luck actually connecting to a hospice center that wanted this. It may not be a service they want.) Maybe think smaller? Break it down into manageable chunks? In the meantime: 1) Get to bed at/before 1215 AM. 2) Volunteer with Young Storytellers. 3) Form a trivia group for trivia at Residuals.
Don't be afraid to say no, because knowing your limits are important. The best way to test your limits is instinctively say yes to everything within reason.
I would like to become a more relaxed person, with more time on my hands to enjoy time spent with friends and family. I would like to start entertaining friends more, and rebuild our social life again.
I'd like to be more productive consistently - get more use out of the hours in my day. Similarly, i'd like to be more forgiving when i cant do it, when i need time to just like, stop dong useful stuff and when i just sorta collapse and have to read fic or whatever I think the Rich Hansen stuff is actually really useful. Breaking into small chunks, looking for the enjoyment in every thing, calling each action a success. Dilligence and finding ways to shift perspective. Also, the writing goals have helped. We'll see
Lean all the way into love and don't take yourself so seriously.
I am too attached to my phone. I want to separate from it when I am at home with my children. I am too attached to social media. It is a detriment to my life, I think. I want to be a better friend. I want to spend more time with friends. I want to spend more time with people IRL and be better about being PRESENT.
No need for improvements. I'm still inching towards retirement, and expect that will come in the next couple of years. Otherwise, I just want to relax and enjoy the good things.
I'd like to become physically healthier. I've gotten lazy over the past few years, and I'm noticing that as I eat better and exercise, my mood improves. I want to keep that going. Better physical strength and emotional resilience all in one would be fantastic.
This year, improvement is going to be less about the what and more about the how. It’s been a long time since I really planned my daily life (and beyond) with real intention. As I get up in the years, I’m beginning to believe that this intuitive, day-to-day parsing of the world I favor has slowly sent me into a holding pattern. It’s not a bad holding pattern—if anything, the reason I’m here in the first place is that my life is good. But it feels like that last 10% could be tweaked slightly: more intentional and creative at work; plan more trips, short and long; reaching out to loved ones and seeing family more frequently; getting more organized at school; planning for retirement; and so on. I had dinner with a former student who was going through a life crisis of sorts, and I he convinced me that actually making a plan and writing it down DOES really matter. I’ve been very skeptical of this self-help/care “design your life”-type initiatives (and I still am) in the past. But I’m taking his advice this year and seeing where it goes.
I would like to work on stress management and not worry so much about the little things and focus more on the bigger picture. Making more time to spend and visit with close friends.
"Improve yourself" is actually language that I'm not sure is super useful or aligned with what I'm valuing. I'm working on self acceptance and i think we can get caught up in how we need to change and improve ourselves when what may be more helpful is to listen to and accept who we are...or just allow ourselves to be even more of ourself. I want to be loving and accepting who i am and where i am.
The piece of advice was - "Just because we're all doomed, doesn't mean that we can't have a good time" I'd like to make a good start on the degree course I have started at the age of 60.
I want to actually succeed when it comes to my venture in school. Within the next year I'll be a sophomore in college....I'd like to actually achieve my 2 year degree and proceed to a university in order to get my 4 year degree. The best piece of advice is my Mom telling me to just do it.....just buckle down and get things done.
I keep thinking I've improved on living a life less guided by, restricted by or dictated by fear - and keep realising that I have so far to go. Most of the fears are unrealistic, or if they are, then they aren't worth missing out on opportunities as much as I do. As well as no shame, I'd like to work on "no fear" - in my life AND in my relationships. I can survive. I CAN survive. I can SURVIVE. I CAN SURVIVE.
You will never change your life until you change something that you do every day. The key to transformation lies in your habits - the ones you change and the ones you develop. The way you do one thing is the way you do all things. Excellence is not comprised of grand, isolated actions; it is what you do consistently, every day, around the clock, as second nature. I want to develop the habit of excellence.
I need to work on my mental health. It is disrupting my ability to do my job and hurting my relationships.
My friend Jan told me that because I had such diverse knowledge of the psyche and the tools to find self in the darkness, that my private practice would thrive once I started. I am holding this advice and would like to trust it and myself to just let go of fear and persue the vision that is contained therein.
The big buzz word right now is self-care. I think it's so important. I've always been decent at separating work and home, but over the next year I would really like to make sure that I am doing things that I want to do, and that will help me relax and be happy. I won't feel guilty about taking time just for me.
I think we are all constant works in progress. There are many ways I can continue to improve. I think one gradual change I have noticed in myself is my desire to become more nuanced in the my thinking. Is this a delayed reaction of being raised by strong, opinionated parents? A reaction to being strong and opinionated myself? I don't know but what is clear is that we live in a world that has become more and more polarized because people are incapable of being able to disagree with another's perspective through a lens of respect. I think my goal for the new year is to focus more on where we have common ground than where we have chasms. And while doing so to figure out a way we can build a bridge of respect over the chasms that exist.
I continue to perform a daily meditation and some sort of exercise and yoga because this has increased my health and wellness this past year. I have been advised to visit each part of my home every week. This is harder than I thought it would be.
I would like to improve my mental health first. I need to know and understand my worth. I often have repetitive thoughts, flashbacks, which ultimately cause me great anxiety. I want to not dwell on the past and not fear the future, but improve myself by living in the moment and trusting the universe that everything will work out. I also would like to approve my physical health by attending the gym more, eating healthier, and drinking less. This past summer alcohol was used as an "out" for me. An unhealthy and expensive habit. More improvements... Speaking my mind when necessary. Being assertive. Being clear about my wants in life. Continuing to be selfless, but at times selfish.
Over the next year I want to practice being mindful, intentional, and gentle with myself. I want to really nurture some good habits, build some healthy practices (actual health: diet and exercise, but also just life hygiene: getting things done, being proactive, making space for the important things that might feel like luxuries because they are just for me, following passions...). Once I get those baselines in place I think I'll be in a position to start looking outwards a bit more.
I definitely want to get into a permanent exercise routine. I often set goals for myself to exercise every morning, to go to yoga or Pilates regularly, to walk more, but then life interferes. Or I'm good for a while, but then I have a period of anxiety or a change in routine (e.g. my new job) and I fall off the wagon. Gretchen Rubin has some good tips in Better Than Before, her book about habits, for Obligers, such as myself. I'm going to try and adopt some of them.
I can't think of any improvements I'd like to make other than sticking with my plan for better health - walking regularly, lifting weights, other light exercising and eating healthy.
Patience. I would like to practice patience more. I think patience is more important when dealing with things we cannot control. Along with that is being able to let go of things I can't control. It's difficult for me but I hope to improve on that. It's important for my mental health.
I would like to take better care of my body. As the years go on, I am realizing how little control we have over things that can happen to us. How we take care of ourselves, however, is one of them. I simply feel better when I eat better, and that can radiate into other parts of my life for the better. This year, I have learned that my weight does not dictate interest from men, but rather my confidence in myself. I have managed to have a relationships, despite not being at my "ideal" weight. In the past several week, I have made changes to my diet and exercise, and am hoping to continue on this path in the new year and new beginnings that will follow.
I would like to stop procrastinating with the basics like; Dishes, Laundry, keeping my apartment clean...housework stuff. I'd also like to get my eating under control. I'm eating too much, plain and simple. I would like to also maybe try hypnotherapy and become more active. Another main thing I want to improve is how I act financially. I need to be more fiscally responsible by not spending as much money, investing more, and taking on more of a minimalist attitude.
I still need to work more on being less snappish and short-tempered, less envious and jealous and resentful. More positively: calmer, more even-tempered, happier for my friends' successes, more content, more self-confident. For something new: I want to be more focused, more disciplined, and more productive. I want to spend less time playing phone games and using the internet.
I would like to stop spreading myself too thin and really hone in on my skills. I think I should be more mindful of my friendships and how I'm feeling fulfilled by them.
My answer from last year focuses on being more centered - which I feel I am. It's still new and I still have A TON of growing to do, but yay. For this next year, while building on this idea of being more grounded and connected, I want to open myself more to the world. I often live behind my walls and barriers and I want to let them down. I've gotten a lot of good advice in the past year - more specifically the past few months. One is choosing your hard. It's hard to live with walls down, it's hard to live with walls up - either way is hard. Pick my hard. In other areas, I tried acupuncture and since having been in a position where I haven't gone for several months, I can feel such a difference and I need to go back asap. So building on that. Building on the RECOGNITION of what works best for me and my body and then DOING MORE OF THAT. Not what works for Sally Mae up the street or Johnny next door. Making it all about me. It is my life, my journey, my path. It is my relationship with G-d, and the universe, and my friends. Focusing on that, focusing on me, and letting the rest of the bull shit go.
I want to manage my job stress better this coming year. As an adjunct angling for a full-time position, I find myself being discouraged and unhappy more often then not, which multiplies the problem by making it harder for me to concentrate on work and build my CV quickly. I need to think about my aikido training and remember to take opportunities when they come around, but be patient until they do.
I would like to take swimming lessons and keep in shape by swimming laps. I am going to break my goal down into small parts and focus on the journey.
I would like to be someone others, especially women, look up to. I have met some amazing people this year and take inspiration from them.
I want to be more flexible in changing plans and embracing opportunities for joy/pleasure/connection/relaxation when they present themselves. I want to focus on spending more time living according to my values rather than the minutia/obsessing over unimportant decisions. I want to criticize myself less and be less defensive when I miss the mark. I want to practice compassion and acceptance of self and others. Advice: Let go of "shoulds." There is no self. You are not good or bad. There is only the decisions/actions you make/take in this moment. It may be hard, but choose to do what will be helpful and meaningful. Don't overgeneralize. Disarm criticism by finding the truth (let the ego die because there is no ego/self) and ask for specific feedback when someone is upset with you.
I'd like to regain a little more of my confidence, and some more of my self control. It may not be of the day, but historically I was command of my mind and body, and that has slipped so far. I gotta get a grip.
I'd like to stop aiming for some end goal of perfection. I just heard, "Perfection is not very communicative" said by Yo Yo Ma, and that's going to be a guiding thought. I would rather be relatable, and aiming for excellence, but overall be graceful and full of good humor.
"Trade 'I'm sorry' for 'thank you'". I say "I'm sorry" too often; it affects the way I see myself and the way others see me. I would like to feel less obligated to apologize, and instead thank people for being there for me.
Driving more often and longer driving. Traveling to Africa or Asia. Drawing more near nature. Changing house, old habits, waking up early. Focusing more on me, me before others. Doing other projects than my ordinary job. Just received a advice from a therapist : look for whom deserves you the most, that adds something to your world, that wants to partake your life and your future, aim for someone better than you already had, be his friend before.
I would like to keep working on better financial health - spending below my means and building a savings again. I would also hope to find ways to deal with the stress of everyday living. Eat well, sleep enough, try to take time for myself. And not guilt myself if I can't be perfect in any of these endeavors.
Play it out to the end. When you're tempted to take a particular approach to an issue because it might feel good or seems right, pause for a minute and play it out to the end.
Make more time for what matters the most. Read and absorb more. Keep identified priorities aligned with actions. Don't judge too harshly, especially before knowing all the facts I have access to.
I will only accept as much as I can bear. I will not tolerate maltreatment. I will stand up for myself and live in my truth.
1. Improve my health. Walk more than 4K steps a day. I'll be 4 years post-cancer treatment in 2019. 2. Take 2 classes towards my Bachelor's degree. 3. Begin piano lessons. Be able to play at least 1 song in church.
I'd like to relax. I'd like to get secure in my job again, sure. But beyond that -- I'd like to be able to feel happier when good things are going on, and less worried when I think bad things are happening. I think I have almost all the pieces to the lego castle of a happy life that I need. I just need to take the time to sit and play with them. :-)
Say yes to more things, do more activities, put myself out there more and make new friends.
Wow... in many ways as always... eat in a healthier way and lose weight... be more tolerant and less judgmental... be less negative... be kinder... stay in touch with friends and family more, including visiting... pursue more interests (clay, chanting Torah and more)... live my life more in line with Mussar... As far advice... probably but hard to remember... advice from friends and much from Mussar and various sources...
I want to have a more optimised routine, that leaves me space to improvise things. I want to get my things in a way that I can arrange my free time as that... free I am glad I took a full time job, and that the experience so far has been rewarding.
I would like to keep running and continue to increase my performance through good nutrition and training. Running is the culmination of a lot of parts of life - discipline, eating well, resting, and setting aside time for self-care.
Lose weight, go out more, meet more people, be more social. Literally the same answer as last year... d'oh!
I would like to let go of the past. Free myself from the trauma and anger of abuse.
I would like to deepen new friendships and do some repairing of ones that have fallen into neglect. For those that do need repair, I need to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles and to give lots of leeway to those I love.
I want to recognize when I am in control and actually be in control, no blaming, no finger-pointing, just honest ownership, and also recognize when I am not in control. Plan and coordinate the family schedules, stick to them when its in my control to do so and allow necessary flexibility when appropriate. Show up for work early, focus, and leave on time to take care of my family. Structured days in the office to accomplish what needs to be done and create the space for the fun family time while taking care of the chores and keeping everyone alive! :)
You are brave, you are strong, you've done such amazing things so far in your life, you can do anything. Speak up, say what's on your mind. Don't hold back. Don't shrink to give others the space they take up. Whatever will be, will be. You will be ok. Take risks, and do what feels right. Don't forget to dream and reach. You've still got a long ways to go, and a lot of ways to change the world. Don't be embarrased of who you are, your dreams, desires, your goals, or ambitions. You are beautiful and brave. Never forget that.
My goal this year is to become better at time management. I can procrastinate at home and at work and am easily distracted by the internet. The best advice is to just start! I am looking into tools to help me keep track of all the balls that are up in the air
Joe's advice to me was to just stay close to what I love. This is excellent advice. Just stay close to what I love and what excites me. I have been thinking of doing yoga teacher training. I don't want to teach yoga, but I do want to continue to stay close to what I love which is to continue to explore the body and my own healing within it. :) JUST STAY CLOSE TO WHAT I LOVE. <3
I want to be able to manage the admin parts of work with more ease and balance it with the implementation part that I have always loved. Also be able to balance the different roles I have this year, and at the same time, have time for myself and my self care. I'm doing OK right now I would say, but I want to be better in this coming year, and thinking what kind of lifestyle I want to prioritize to be politically and socially active, while remaining faithful to myself. The advice is just that balance is hard work on a daily basis but that it also feels amazing.
I would like to just be calmer instead of worrying about everything all the time. I don't know that there's any specific advice or counsel I can apply except to try to look more carefully at the fact that things do tend NOT to be the disasters that I anticipate. I mean, it'll be fine. We'll move or we won't. My work and career will get better or it won't. I'll get fit or I won't. But - probably - it'll be OK either way.
I think that I need to be a bit more scheduled in life. I have enjoyed my free-spirited, free-wheeling nature thus far, but our home is ALWAYS a mess and I feel tired frequently. I appreciated the Marie Kondo method for purging. We got rid of 35 garbage bags worth of stuff this past year! I would like to get rid of SO MUCH MORE, but I have to be scheduled and systematic about it.
My value lies within myself. This was one of the most important takeaways from therapy this past year. I would like to continue to improve my work-life balance and get back into the habit of exercising regularly for stress management. It is difficult with chronic illness, but I feel close to finding medication that works for me.
I want to have a more regular schedule with much less wasted time. I'm on my way to that but it's still a juggle. I'm not sure about advice. Off the top of my head I think the counsel to stay centred in my heart instead of in my dual mind is going to be important: just to stay focused on what I want my life to be, both on a day to day level (inspired, creative, full) and at the end of my life.
More self love Understanding my value (not invaluable) but valued (esp in professional situations) Treat myself as a dear beloved friend
I would like to develop a daily meditation practice.
I'd like to be more patient with more or less everybody that I see. Especially in my teaching roles, my aging vision is extremely sharp, and I can see gaps and faulty logic and terrible choices very easily. Too often I've lost my temper about such things. The oldest advice about this that I remember is, "no small babies will die": the things that I'm getting mad about are not worth getting mad about. Of course it's also true that I'm supposed to be teaching, and getting mad is high on the list of the worst ways to teach. Of course I am always very open to _receiving_ patience when I'm the one screwing up. Perhaps I can use those (frequent!) occasions as reminders about how I might act.
-**Meditating daily, or close to it. It's been years and I still am not able to figure this one out. My life would be so much better if I could make this happen. What is still stopping me? I really don't know. Others: -Continuing to hone and practice my DBT/ACT skills. -It took me a while to get the exercise thing figured out. That was a huge success this year. Let's continue integrating this into the schedule! -Limiting recurring weekly commitments (classes, etc) to one a week, or less. This has been quite healthy for me. Advice: -Looking for A right thing to do, not THE right thing to do. -Make a choice that aligns with my values. -Use skills to get through the moment instead of giving in to urges. The pain usually gets better on its own in time. -Having a thought doesn't mean I believe that thing. -I don't have to be a perfect person devoid of mistakes. That is not my goal.
I recently read a book, Drop The Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less, and it really resonated with me. Per the author's advice, I think I could improve myself and my life (and my family's life) by letting more go. Her advice was to list my priorities and then think about all the tasks that make up my to-do list and see if they align. MY 3 main priorities are: 1) loving my husband and nourishing our relationship 2) being an incredible mother and raising my girls to be confident, hardworking, kind, responsible global citizens, and 3) working against systems of oppressions in our public schools. I would like these three goals to guide me as I prioritize what's essential to get done day to day, and over the year.
Don't Ask, Don't Get. Be a Unicorn. Everything in 3s.
I would like to combine by Type A and Type B tendencies. I would like to use what I learned from hiking the AT about taking chances and combine it with my usual, rational way of thinking. Giving up what I learned from that invaluable, life-changing experience is not an option. I would like to become more confident. A piece of advice that I gave to someone last night can apply: that no matter how much everyone else around you seems to have it figured out, they are still doubting and wondering if they're moving in the right direction.
I want to live a healthier lifestyle. I have to let go of this idea that being a person who doesn't order a bun on my burger makes me ridiculous. The changes that I'm engaging in are lifestyle changes not just changes for now, if I want to change my weight and my health I have to commit to making long terms changes and following the 80/20 rule. It's ok to have foods I crave or want sometimes but it's more important to follow a healthy lifestyle and eat foods that nourish me rather than fill me up emotionally.
Take time to RELAX! Graduate school and full-time teaching are grueling experiences - so take time to "just be"! I hope to make time for family and friends in the coming year, even if it means not progressing as far as I would like in academic areas.
I want to be single. The best advice I have had this year is from my sister who reminds me that I want his and all I have to do is stay the course because I am stronger than he is.
I'd like to make a commitment to being more open and gregarious than I am now. I find that sometimes I'm not cheerful and it's because I'm afraid that people won't like me, and that shouldn't really be the case. I'm hoping that I can spend some time learning about how to fit into things socially.
Just try harder! Stop being lazy and making excuses!!
I would like to operate with more confidence in my work, and in how I interact with people in the Business. I seem to be good when it comes to everyday, non working, relationship, but I want to be as confident and comfortable when working on set, or meeting with 'gatekeepers' (for lack of a better word for myself at present), as I am with my wife. And I want to be more patient with my wife. Once piece of advice or counsel I have received, paraphrased and personalized, might be how can be useful to the people I meet and interact - all of them. What can I offer at any given moment? I'm an actor, I choose to be this, to identify as this, to pursue this professionally; an actor must be generous and brave in spirit and action, and know how to be free and clear of internalizing seeming judgements. Just do, go, make, and lead. Let the chips fall as they may, and be relentless in bravery. And be more patient with my wife!
Honestly I think the number one thing I could do to improve my life/myself is something that SEEMS already to be in progress, or at least to be very much on my mind, and that is TAKE SLEEP SERIOUSLY. I don't think there's anything I can do about having become a lighter sleeper as I've aged, but making the necessary adjustments to give me the best possible chance of a thorough night's sleep every night--well, those adjustments are under my control for the most part, and I'm just working through some resistance. Part of my whole I DO WHAT I WANT vibe is about staying up late, but I'm almost never doing anything that actually benefits me OR the world--I'm just adhering to a night owl narrative about myself and I would like to change that story. Addressing myself thoroughly to sleep hygiene does mean changing a lot of other ancillary things: chilling out on screen use, probably adjusting the lighting in here (I do want to stop relying on overheads), starting my wind-down routine earlier, adding meditation. I think I've received all the wisdom about sleep, honestly mainly from fitness people, and I just need to implement what I know. The bit of wisdom I resist the most is just that you should go to bed when it's dark. I'm obviously not doing that in the winter. And already it's getting dark earlier and earlier and it's a bummer. But lights out at 11 is not a huge leap, man, and I should just do it.
The only piece of advice I'll try to hold on to is this: You are loved, you are worthy, and you can do this.
I need to better smell the roses. Even more than I do. I need to make retirement days meaningful. I need to recommence the conditioning and weight loss, and for quality of life to face and get past the heart procedure. I need to get us making 2 or more trips a year and more little ones in between.
I want to be more disciplined/decisive. I want to put my mind to something and accomplish it and stop being lazy. "Learn to master the moment of decision and you will live a life uncommon." - Matthew Kelly, "The Rhythm of Life" I need to master the moment of decision and decide to make myself better every moment.
Hm this feels hard to think about. Maybe similar to last year, I'd like to cultivate gratitude and satisfaction with what I have more than I feel those things now. Job, dog, wonderful man - all things to be immensely grateful for.
Let go of expectations, of myself and of others. I would like to further open my eyes, close down the judgment and see where it takes me. My gut says that I will learn so much more and trust and believe in myself more as well.
I still overthink too much about the little things so I want yo try and stop that, have less of those anxious feelings around things and just got more with the flow. Kind of tying in to that is taking out any negativity in my life, whether that is a person or something else, I have come to the realization that I don't need it and its okay to let go sometimes. I also want to be better at being on my own and making more time for that. Sometimes I find I'm so busy and I can't remember the last time I had a full evening or weekend day on my own without getting in the way. It would be good to try and make more time for that (there's some Netfilx series I just haven't had the time to watch yet so I can blitz through them!)
I'd like to continue doing fitness related activities daily. I simply need to focus on myself and the people I love.
I have struggled for years with time management and motivation. Once I no longer had the academic calendar to lean on, I fell apart. For a long time I have been ashamed of myself for not being a "self-starter." I was afraid that if I didn't have a natural burning desire to do creative work all the time come hell or high water, it meant I wasn't a real artist. As a classical composer, I've had to contend with the archetype of the lone genius who emerges from seclusion with his masterwork, like Moses coming down Mount Sinai with the stone tablets. But finally I had an insight that maybe there are other valid ways to be a creative person. My creativity is interactive; I respond to my environment and draw inspiration from experiences. The funny thing is, once I articulated that for myself and validated it, my inner drive and motivation increased. It's just astonishing how corrosive shame is to every area of life. I'm still not skilled at time management, though. So I would like to develop some kind of routine, not just for creative work but for life in general. In the past I've had a strong tendency to rebel against any system or schedule I attempted to implement. I think now that I am getting a tiny bit better at self-acceptance, I will feel less of a need to act out in that way.
I would like to be braver. I want to embrace whatever new challenge or goal I set out for myself without fear. I have recently learned there are no "right" choices. I want to fully commit to whatever path I choose for myself and embark on it bravely.
I would like to grow closer to God. I would like to spend more time reading His Word and learning more about Him and his plans for my life. In the past year, my relationship with God has grown a lot, but I can improve the amount of time I give to Him each day so that I can hear from Him rather than only speak to Him.
I continue to battle my weight, I would like to meet my weight goals. I would also like to create a new normal following retirement.
As mentioned in the answer #6, I'd like to get back into good physical condition and also have my surrounding physical space more organized and manageable. The main piece of advice is small steps, and I have to work to remember this advice.
I would like to deepen my exposure to Stoicism and the learnings it teaches. I have a number of books which will help me greatly in that.
Make peace with yourself. Accept the choices you have made -- especially slowing down your career to raise your young children. Stop beating yourself up for not living up to your so-called potential. Be grateful for the gifts you have.
Stop second guessing how I handle my kids and my clients at work. The most recent way I was advised to do this is to "be the Incredible Hunk" and try to punch or physically push myself through a wall without looking back. I'm not yet sure if that visualization/advice resonates appropriately or is even something I could follow.
I'd like to bring some order to my life. Get in a better routine where I get back to some sort of workout, plan our meals, find a consistent time to do some house projects. I'd like my wife and I to get out and do more things - festivals, galleries, etc.
I want to have a social life and I want to be in a relationship. This is a challenge in a town that is rather unwelcoming to strangers and for someone who doesn't particularly like dating. I'm trying the online dating thing now and I joined a local club that goes hiking, in hopes of meeting new friends and/or something more. Somehow I managed to twice in my life to join a club to meet new people only to find that my interests are that of a retiree.
You can't believe how things can change. Young, even in my 30s, I still didn't understand all the wisdom I would gain. All the mistakes I could and did make. How a single bad decision can spiral and snowball, bringing things into its reach, domino-ing to other things and people. I feel out of control. Maybe a mid-life crisis.
In this next year, I would like to continue to dismantle my white privilege and savior complex. Learning how to live by seeing everyone as equal and how my privilege of being white has given me many opportunities and that doesn't mean that I can look down upon others. Even if it is subconscious. Continue to allow my subconscious to rise so that I can heal that shit.
Improve Norwegian more, impose myself more, speak up, make a difference in the world. Spend more time educating and teaching my children and talking with my wife.
I would like to focus more on my everyday happiness as everything changes around me. There is always a feeling these days of what is coming next, what am I preparing for or waiting for, and I hope in the next year and in the next summer I can enjoy the everyday moments more.
I have many new skills I want learn. I make the same resolutions every year and act on a few of them before I lose steam. maybe I need to change my resolutions. My marriage is important to me and I need to be clearer about my needs as well as more open to how I can love him in a way that works for him. I want us to strengthen each other. I want a good friend group. SOmething I keep thinking about is what I read about INFJs that people will pay for your presence. I want to capitalize on that. Play on my strengths: innovation, color matching, intuition, people reading, building trust, baking, being a catalyst. I'd like to stop squandering time with the internet and drudgery of running a household and focus on writing, conversations, training my animals, creating a business, excelling in my field, building intimacy in my relationship. I find myself hanging on to the past --old friends, old successes. I need to let go what no longer is there and live in the now.
I would like to improve my health and take better care of my body so I can live a long and happy life. A piece of advice I've recived is that pain is just weakness leaving the body and that challenges are not to be feared, only understood.
1. I'd like to get a tattoo to remind me of. 1. We will all die eventually 2. Meditate every day, it keeps you sane 3. Stay fit 4. Be organised (where possible) 5. Save more It will use the mantra, change is constant, stay present, be awesome. I have received a couple of pieces of advice, one, was don't obsess over the pain caused by the person who lied, stole from and cheated on you. the other was always look forward but stay present right now. Logically I guess, we can't change the past, but we can prepare a better future if we are looking closely at now.
When I talked to my mom about school, she said to do what felt right. I'm going to try and follow that this year. I don't want to do things because I should. I want to do what's best for me and for Nathan short term and long term, even if that means it takes longer.
26 books in 52 weeks Give yourself reminders so I don't lose or forget things Sleep more New Language?
I want to make my living space more comfortable and conducive to expressing who I am through my art and music. I also want to exercise and eat in a healthy way, to get to a healthy weight so I feel stronger and have more energy to do the things I want to do. I also want to find a part-time job that will supplement my SS and pension income so that I can not feel like such a pauper. I have received counsel from a wonderful person at Kuhn Agency, an organization that helps people with mental health issues return to the workforce. She has helped me to believe that I'm capable of getting and keeping a job that would suit my abilities.
Improve communication skills! I've learned a good deal on how to communicate better, but obviously need more coaching.
I would like to be better at accepting people as they are, especially family. "People can only love you they way THEY can love you, maybe not the way YOU want to be loved." I would also like to complain less, and to be more patient with Marilyn, and in general.
I would like to continue changing, hopefully in the good way :-) I need to continue learning how to let go of unimportant things. I made some progress in the past year to be less in the control and planning of everything. Now I need to learn how to not get upset and bothered by things that would not deserve my energy, to better focus on important matters. Still a long way to go.
Lately. I've been leading with the idea that if you know you're going to do it, then do it with your whole heart. Mom taught me this in terms of customer service, but it applies all across the board. If you know you're going to skip class tonight, then don't feel guilty about it. Indulge. If you know you're going to do the presentation, then fucking go for it. If you know you're going to do something, then get rid of fears and anxieties and guilt and shame and run whole-heartedly toward it.
More exercise. Things are getting serious, even though my diabetes is well managed. I need to move, to awaken my untapped energy and become the person I used to be, healthy in mind and body.
Still trying to "move on" from a hard break up two years ago. "This too shall pass . . . " and I know that I'm better off without him and that someone better for me is ultimately out there. I just need to remember that.
One of my friends, M., thinks I should take a part-time job that will pay substantially less than my current one, and which most likely will be less stressful. Not sure I would like that, but it's worth thinking about. Looking at my answer from last year, I am pleased to say I accomplished a couple of things -- I did pay off my Visa bills and reduced my student loan amount. I have also dedicated more time and money to buying work clothes, rather than just weekend and workout clothes.
I would like to be more present. I would like to pay more attention to others and really listen to them so that I am completely present in each moment as much as is possible. I want to have more fun. Lots of fun. Fun in everything I do.
For next year I’d like to improve myself through an even healthier routine.
As I described previously, I began a program to lose weight. I plan to continue until I reach my goal weight, which should happen some time in June.
Uhh... I feel like my answer for the previous question works pretty well here, but that was more personal, so I'll add a professional goal. I want to develop more confidence at work, with asking questions, and being willing to take on more responsibilities. This is definitely something that I could have used in my work experience thus far, and is necessary for me to grow in my roles and industry.
Less procrastination, less self-criticism. More acceptance of 'it is what it is'.
I need to remember "don't sweat the small stuff." I tend to over-agonize over just about everything. It gives me stress, and more stress. My life would be better if I could save my energies for what is truly important.
I haven't felt healthy, fit, bouncing with energy for a while, and I miss it. My sister lost 200 pounds & became a triathlete by starting 5 minutes at a time. I can do that!
I want to start a meditation n visualization practice so that I can clarify my goals n my vision consistently n work towards achieving them. Right now I feel the major blockage is procrastination due to non clarity of where I want to go n where I want to be or spreading in too many different directions n losing focus.
I would like to continue to focus more on myself, my reactions to things, and my attitude about life. This is opposed to focusing so much on trying to control or anticipate others' actions or reactions to things. There have been a few things I have taken to heart this past year, from words of advice to experiences I've had that have guided me in this direction. I have tried to remain silent or delay judgment in recent situations, and while it's not necessarily my nature, I think it has improved my life by allowing me some distance between experiences and my reactions. This is still a work in progress, ,but I think I will continue to try to bite my tongue more, choose my words carefully, ask questions instead of providing judgments.
It's ok to let some things go. I try to hold onto everything so tightly. I MUST do this. I MUST do that. THIS will happen if I don't do this and so on. I need to quit that. I have been telling myself it's ok to let some things go. I don't have to do ALL the things, and the nice thing about that is... when you let the unimportant things go, it often creates space for spontaneity and serendipity. Like going for a walk in the dark with your hubby.
I'd like to learn how to follow through with the 10,000 hours to mastery and not give up when the going gets tough. I'm not sure what happened to my ability to follow through and do the hard stuff but my gumption, discipline and grit evaporated. I know I can do better because I DID better before.
I would like to carve out more time to read and increase my knowledge base with regard to mental health counseling. In addition, I would like to get what I call, some normalcy in my life. One job instead of 2/3 and no more working in the evenings or weekends. Work-Life Balance is what I desire.
I've got to axe the clutter. Several Youtubes have good suggestions.
I want to get myself back into shape. Lose 13 lbs. Build my arms and legs back up! I looked great and felt great and then someone stole my identity. I spent all my "exercise time" making countless phone calls, and that's all it took for me to get out of the workout routine. "If you don't take care of your body, where are you going to live?!"
Every single year I seem to say mindfulness, and I still need to improve on that. I need to take time to be thankful for all that I have in this life. I also need to improve on letting things go and not being obsessive. I need to let things fall off my shoulders and not worry about so much that doesn't NEED to affect me.
Recently, at a Hadar Boston event I delved into overly apologizing and dwelling in negativity. It was on the topic of tshuvah, but I think the discussion also made me realize how much I have dwelled in negativity. Especially with people at work or with my roommates, I would like to dwell less on the negatives and in doing so, be more positive. I want to focus more on the distinction between what I can control and what I cannot. I don't need to complain about the same things over and over again. I want to focus on what I can control.
I want to grow more comfortable and accepting of my life at home, more serious in my practices of writing and kindness.
Try to help others be happy. Speak up when I know things are wrong. Stop and do what can be done in my local sphere, even though it might take longer or not be planned. Stop being upset that losers are getting attention and focus on making sure you speak up about your own work since no one else will but attention and acknowledgement of your work does not only serve you, it helps others so you should not feel guilty.
I'd like my arms and legs to be less flabby rather than more. And they'd better be if I'm going to survive our trip to Peru. So I'd like to improve my fitness, significantly.
I want to change my situation. I'm tired of just getting by and not doing anything to improve that. I'm going to either work really hard on re building my photography business, or I'm going to take steps to starting a new career. I'm also going to continue my weight loss journey and reach my goal weight.
So much counsel! Forgive myself. Enjoy life. Have a financial plan. Work at what I love by helping others. Have a meditative life. Be fearless by fearing less. Become less isolated. Feed my creative soul. Authenticity! Will I listen sedately or through action?
In order to prioritize something, you have to de-prioritize something else. How am I making time for my own healing? What am I putting aside to prioritize my love, my relationships, the joy?
Care more about the things that matter. Care less about the things that don’t.
I'm thinking about what Cera said, just before Rosh Hashanah. I don't know that I can quote her exactly, but the idea was this: she realized, that sometimes, it's better for her not to follow her own instincts for what she needs. In a culture of "self-care" and "authenticity," we often get the advice to be gentle with ourselves, to do what we need to do, without judgement. That advice has served me well, especially through my long process of healing, forgiveness, and self-expansion. But I think I've reached a breaking point. Being soft with myself, doing what I want, doesn't always serve me. Lying in bed for weeks on end, avoiding the world when I feel overwhelmed, it doesn't do me good. This upcoming year, I want to learn when to force external structures upon myself. I want to know when to listen to myself and when to do the opposite of what my inner voice would counsel. I think this is where the motivation and discipline I've named in other responses comes in. They create the structure I need to guide me, even when (especially when), I don't want structure.
My favorite piece of advice this past year was "Just say yes. Say yes to everything, and sort it out later." That advice has gotten me far, and vastly improved my life. I am trying new things, meeting more people, and having more fun. (Just for clarification, I do say no when it's the appropriate answer).
I'd like to get down to a healthy weight and maintain. I think this would be aroun 130-135 lbs, but I will see how it feels when I get there. I am disappointed in myself for regaining 20 lbs since the spring, and want to get back into the driver's seat of my eating and exercising. A piece of advice I could give myself is that I control my choices. I've done this before, so I know how to do it, and it's more of a series of little choices that a couple of big ones.
I would like to grow in confidence. I am worth it. I am working on believing it.
Self: Do what makes me feel fulfilled. Forget what others think I should be doing. Life: Do triage with tasks. Pick the top 3 important things and do those first.
I want to become healthier and lose more weight. I just want to not have health issues because I refused to lose weight.
I'd like to continue to prioritise my time better. Just because I can do everything, doesn't mean I should.
I would like to continue to figure out how to better my mental state. My therapist talks about how cavemen were wired to be wholly mindful of threats--particularly fight-or-flight threats--from the outside environment, but that we ultimately outgrew many of those threats as we came to dominate them. I still perceive many social threats as such, even though many times they're moreso in my head. Although I'm being more self-aware of when I'm avoiding situations I perceive as negative, I need to figure out how to overcome those avoidances in the next year.
I would like to declutter my home, getting rid of the things we don't need, and reclaiming our bedroom. I can't really think of a particular piece of advice to guide in this.
J aimerais continuer à m’épanouir physiquement et mentalement. M’epanouir Dans mon corps, dans ma souplesse et ma force par le yoga , mentalement, par la méditation, dans ma vie professionnelle, en y trouvant plus qu’un gagne pain, en arrivant à passer moins de temps sur les réseaux sociaux, et à consacrer mon temps libre à d’autres choses qui ont plus de sens, à me trouver et à être heureuse. Faire les bons choix. Pour moi. Breathe in / Breathe out / be happy
I'd really like to simplify further and say "No" better. I think I have too many OPP distractions, tasks, newsletters, topics, that I peripherally care about but don't care enough to really act on them. I want to reduce my own clutter of physical stuff and daily digital stuff. I want to build better habits to reduce the stuff that I have to deal with more than once. I decided this morning to hire someone else to mow my yard after this season. It's a task I hate doing, I put off because I hate it, it's cumbersome, the tools take up space in my life, and I can spend my time doing something else better.
Take time to think about your impulses, don't immediately act upon them. Also, your current beliefs about the way the world works may be wrong--always be open to change.
I would like to keep calm in the most wretched situations. I do believe that I have a more positive person in the past year, and I have seen the good in everything and in everyone. I have also definitely improved myself this past year when I stopped drinking for good. Even though I have done wrong things this past year, I've learned to not let it affect me. I can't allow anyone who despises me for whatever reason to get to me nor get into my head. I must learn to continue to remain happy no matter what. However, I would like to improve my motivation and willpower next year. I have so many amazing ideas that I want to release into the world. My main fear was putting myself and my name out there and having others laugh at me, reject me, or belittle me, but I can't let that fear stop me from living my dreams. Not everyone is going to like what I do, think, or say, and that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay. I must learn to embrace myself fully and wholly and believe that I definitely CAN achieve anything I put my mind into. But I must learn to put my mind and whole self into something I'm passionate about. I want to continue to take action and go for what I want, even if I will fail. The advice I received in the past year that will continue to guide me is: "Go. Just Go." If I don't move, then I'll never get anywhere. Again, I also want to become stronger and wiser so I won't let people take advantage of me. This is how I can and will improve myself and my life next year.
I want to remain faithful. I want to be more comfortable with exploring the boundaries of monogamy without crossing them. I would like to be more comfortable with the part of me that wants to wildly explore every person she meets with a creative connection. I want to find a balance between that and feeling faithful and attracted to my partner. I want to lift the lid on those feelings - when I've spoken to a couple of safe people about them, they've been supportive and told me it's normal. But it happens with people and I want to follow it...really follow it until I don't want to any more but I'm scared that point won't come. It feels dangerous and exciting and I want it but then...why? I wanted this stable and loving, happy relationship for so long and now I have it...it's as if I want to sabotage it. I'd like to not do that and either make peace with that urge or figure out where it comes from.
We want to be more intentional about our money spending, its really hard right now, but I want to be paying off debt, donating to charities, and saving in a meaningful way that makes us feel positive about our money habits.
The best is the enemy of the good. Advice heard long ago, never heeded. I'd love to pay attention to it, and write my book.
I am very happy with who I am, and who I have become over the past few years. I think that if I need to remember anything it’s that I can forgive without forgetting.
This year, I would like to work on being more friendly and out-going. I tend to embrace my behavior and identity as an introvert and someone who is bad at small talk. But I read an essay titled, "How to be Polite" and it struck me that perhaps if I just asked people questions, set out with the desire to get to know them, I might feel less anxious talking to strangers. I should just voice the compliments that I'm thinking in my head! It always makes my day to receive a compliment; why not stop keeping my nice thoughts to myself.
Hi friend, Treat yourself as a friend. I know it’s hard. I know there are big changes happening. People are coming and going. YOU are coming and going. You moved to a new place all by yourself and you forever thought you would never do this alone. But you did. And you are. The answers you think you know, forget them, or at least don’t hold on to them so tightly. Don’t hold on to people so tightly because they were made to move just like you. They were made with wings to fly, just like you. They were made to change. You were made to grow. So, please, grow up and grow out of people and things and answers. Let your world shift. And remember that you can, you have, and you will, do this by yourself just fine.
1. Roll with it. 2. Be less stingy with kids.
I want to be happier. I'm still not positive how to achieve that, but I think it involves letting go of what I cannot control, acknowledging that I'm doing my best, and getting more sleep
Scheduling intentional time with my family, Joel, and friends - time outside, time away. I've gotten really into the Full Focus Planner, and it's really helping me focus my work on what's most important in any given day/week/quarter. I've never felt this focused on my own goals and projects - I think it took me this long out of school to switch from a reactive/responsive mentality to a proactive/internally driven and motivated mentality.
To improve myself - be more mindful. To improve my life - perhaps by simplifying, by uncluttering physically and mentally, by listening to that still small voice when it speaks to me. By being even more open to new experiences. By making the world a little sweeter for others - friends, family and strangers. The line from The Little Prince comes to mind - what is essential is invisible to the eyes; only with the heart can one see rightly. Amen.
LISTEN to my body, my mind.... I want to improve my eating. I want to listen AS I am eating... is what I am putting into my body HELPING heal my metabolism and my health or HARMING it?
“If you’re not doing you, you’re screwing you.” - Sarah Knight I’m going to start being me and not fearing what other people might think. It’s time to put myself first all the time. Who else will?
I'd like to grow. Take on new challenges, learn new things, deepen my relationship with my son's dad (which has started healing but is still very, very fragile). Be less angry. Less fearful.
Just do it seems so trite and hokey but, that's pretty much it. If I want to excel at grad school, I know what to do. I just need to do it. If I want to improve my physical condition, I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. If I want to improve my relationship, I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. Regardless of the area of my life, I know what needs to be done and just have to get off my butt and do it. Because no one wants to make butt prints on the sands of time...
Following the Strategic Coach A-B-C model, decrease the amount of time I spend doing B and C activities, and increase my time doing A activities.
I want to not plan as min in the future and about the future and really just engage and experience the now. I also want to find more things that give me happiness and pleasure. I want more than just a day job.
I would like to have more room in my heart and head to be present. I feel like the phrase being present is overused so I have defined what that means for me. Being present to me is the ability to turn down the noise (news, work, drama, fear, etc) and soak in or accept all of the gifts that are around us each day. The beauty of the natural environment, art that has been created, the sunshine, the rain, the smells of the season, the joy of giving to others. The bounty is endless.
I would like to figure out the issue with my right side so that I can get my body back as close to 100% as possible. I have received counsel to change my patterns and to accept a new change and identity. I am getting away from the idea of STRONG and moving into a mindset of care, for both myself and those around me.
Improve myself by learning and applying that I am solely responsible for my life’s direction and I cannot own what does not belong to me.
Stay active - eat well - enjoy the good things that surround me and cope well with any bumps in the road.
Already my answers last year seem so naive. I was in a little bubble in my head and I couldn't think outside of it. Every improvement I believed I would make I was sure would come from Israel and being in Harova. But it wasn't Israel or Harova that has shaped me this year it was how I responded to it. Through the way I learnt to handle this difficult year away I have become tough - tougher than I ever have been (and I've always been tough). Throughout the next year I want to be strong, determined, driven, stubborn and all the things I was this year x1000. I want to get it through my head that all that matters is what I focus my energy on and anything outside of it is irrelevant. People's opinions of me are irrelevant. What I don't need is irrelevant. I will focus on me and what I love and what is relevant and that which is not can take the backseat that it's always needed to.
Your adversary is your teacher. Your enemy is your ego.
Noone cares about your dreams as much as you do. I want to go for my dreams and follow them. I want to make my family and myself my #1 priority and just be happy. I don't want other people's moods to affect how I feel. If I think that other people are mad at me, I can't let that affect my whole day/week.
I know that these are going to look a little like last year’s, and that’s okay. I have celebrated my successes, given myself credit for what I’ve done, and cooked more. For this year, I’m going with what I wrote in my journal on my one-year anniversary in my new house (thus, my one-year anniversary living single): - be a reliably honest and loyal romantic partner - actively keep myself on budget so I have money for things I really need (new water heater, new bathtub) and want (travel, four-poster bed). - plan for an epic journey or four. Involve son #2 who really wants to travel with me. - definitely get the courage to play instrumental music again (there is a violin with my name on it in the other room!) - move forward toward 50 with the mind to stick around and quality of life. Advice? My therapist is a good touchstone for me, as are my loving friends and boyfriend. What does not counsel me well is articles written for pop rags and new age websites. I am done with product pushing and pseudoscience. I will read only scholarly articles, fiction written by women over 50, and feminists and funny people on the topics of body image, health and wellness, menopause, aging, and sex.
I want to earn the CFP designation in 2019.
Hm. You know, lately I've been feeling more and more often (even if still fleetingly!) that I'd like the focus of my life to be off of ME so much. Every damn day is so me-focused. Maybe it feels good to be selfish and attend to all of my own needs all the time and not have to think about much else. I certainly know that when I see families traveling, parents with young kids on an international flight, I think, good lord, that looks harrowing. It's hard enough trying to sleep on a long flight, what if I had to stay awake the whole time cause I had a tiny baby? Or stagger sleep with my husband? How miserable! But I also find myself thinking, more and more, that maybe there's something missing that I'm not tapping into because our lives are so focused on us, and every little thing that we want or feel. Maybe I'll be eating my words this time next year or the year after that, wishing that I was back in this simpler time when I didn't have to attend to the needs of a tiny person. Or maybe I won't have a tiny person yet and I'll find other ways to tap in to a greater need than my own, or maybe I'll have a tiny person and I'll read this and go, my life has so much more meaning now that I'm serving something other than myself. Maybe! Who knows. But I suspect that there's a certain kind of expansiveness I can't experience yet. As much as I do believe that we can tap into a oneness and experience great expansiveness when singing or praying or practicing yoga or acting or just walking down the street in awareness, I also sense that I'm growing tired of how self-centered my life is. So we'll see.
I'd like to practice courage, and do things primarily for positive reasons not avoiding risk or possible negative consequences. I think that's how I naturally lean, so I'll need to be conscious about how I make decisions
I need to seriously lose weight which would help with my physical health. Same answer as last year again... For my peace of mind I would like to improve my agility and flexibility physically and mentally.
You are your thoughts. Your body is shaped by how you move it. Think and move for the thoughts and body you want to be living with.
Sort of covered this in the last question, but keep doing everything you're doing now. This is a good track you're on. Lean into the MEP work. Challenge yourself and be humble in the face of feedback. Keep pushing yourself to be open, honest, and integritativious.....have integrity. Also, by our current plans, you should be marrying Hannah this upcoming year. I hope the planning is going so well. It's going to be incredible! Love her so fully. Give her everything and always be better for her. She deserves the very best.
My own answer from last year! "If something is making me unhappy, I can change it." Just because a decision isn't working for me now doesn't mean it was a mistake; it's okay to change my mind, and it's okay to move away from things that no longer serve, and that I no longer can serve. Moving on is a way of opening up an opportunity for someone else -- letting go of my old dreams is a way of making someone else's dreams come true. It's not selfish.
I received a great piece of advice from a counselor I'll call Bishop Brad. He said that although I am not responsible for the terrible things that have happened to me I am responsible to heal. That was powerful. If I don't choose to heal, those who injured and abused me will continue to do so even if it is only in my mind. Some of those people are passed from this world and unless I choose to heal, I am allowing the abuse and hurt to continue. I will continue my healing journey for I desire the strength that comes through letting go and moving on.
I want to feel that I made a sincere effort to live well and make a difference both in the lives of the people who I encounter each day (loved ones, random strangers, and everyone in between) and also to try to bring some more justice and healing to the world. I feel like I know what I have to do, it's just a matter of doing it consistently, over and over again.
I want to get back to exercising more regularly. I want to relearn Ms SQL DBA, Microsoft systems administration, and learn for the first time Linux systems administration. I would like to be settled in with my primary partner and building a life that I hopefully won't burn down and start over, again. Perhaps aquesing to my mother's mantra of is it going to kill you? No? Try it.
Ask for you what you want. But remember this is difficult work. Women are taught all their lives to serve not deserve. You are not too much. Telling women they're too much is just another way of keeping them silent. Exactly as you are, you are enough. Progress, not perfection. <3
I'd to be able to be more mindful in my thoughts, words, and actions.
Clarity of vision. Bringing vision of creating. Knowing my strength and role is to provide shelter. How can I best be this resource to the world?
I would like to keep a more open calendar—primarily for individual pursuits—practicing music, crafting, reading. M suggested the idea of calendaring blocks of time for myself. The hard part will be saying “no” to other people (or “I have a commitment at that time”). Our rabbi advises this is one way to nurture myself.
1. Be the best version of yourself. I want to achieve this by attempting to do things that I admire in other people. This covers everything: from having a nice house, to being in good shape physically, finally realizing all those plans (cycling trips, salsa courses etc) that have been put in the back, taking good care of myself, surrounding myself with good people. 2. Very powerful quote from this year: "so many horrible things have happened to me in life. Thanks God, 95% of them only happened in my mind." So: stop worrying about things that didn't happen yet - they might as well never happen. And if they do, just deal with consequences. Or, may be these horrible things will turn out to be not that horrible after all.
I want to become independent. My advice? Take care of yourself, because no one else is going to do it.
I want to read a lot more and watch a lot less television. As I come to the end stages of my life I have become acutely aware of how little time I have left. I really don’t want to waste any part of it.
I would like to create more space for myself and strengthen my self-love and my self-boundaries. It starts with me, and fans out to all my loved ones and friends. I have traditionally been a 'pleaser', and I need to self-please ... then support others. Its a little like the oxygen mask thing on airplanes: put mine on first, then help a child ...
At the moment I'm realizing will the things about myself that I don't like, but I'm not sure if it's worth trying to change it all. I've realised I'm not very resilient, not motivated and I'm not very perceptive at all. But I dont know how to improve on these things. I've learnt that age is just a number and the friendship is of the highest importance, so I think I'm going to spend next year working on strengthening my relationships.
Keep working out!
Everything I practice today is to expand my conscious awareness beyond self-improvement or the concept that there is any moment of time better than the present moment. As I am continually advised that I am divinely guided, I will go and do whatever I am intuitively lead to do.
I would like to be happy with myself. I would love to break the chains that make me enslaved to what other people think of me. The sin I have committed for 70 years is not being me, for being a people pleaser starting with pleasing my parents. Being a people pleaser has led me from one sad decision to another including marrying twice men to please my family but not to please me.
I still struggle with the hopelessness and general lack of feeling that there is anything to look forward to that I have noted in previous years. I would like to find a way to move myself forward in a way that might bring about goals other than surviving the day.
I hope to become a better person on my path to Judaism, taking into consderation the things that are truly important. I’d like to focus on the countless joys in my life instead of the few trifles...I am blessed by the Rabbi’s guidance and the support and kindness of my family and friends. I know that none of this is possible without G-d’s love for me
THINK of OTHERS “True humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.” - C.S. Lewis Analyze myself more Become emotionally self-sufficient and independent Love openly and deeply Forgive Accept what is. ❤️
Last year I wrote: "This past year I learned that just making my voice heard in general is not enough; I must also make my voice heard in the face of power. This coming year, I want to continue to stand up to power." I think that is still great advice for me. I'm proud of what I've accomplished with regard to speaking up in the face of power this year, and I want to continue that work. Additionally, I want to work on being more compassionate during stressful situations, especially when I am the one with power. I don't like being snapped at by those in power, and it's important for me to make sure I also don't snap at others when I have power.
I want to become a more confident and capable curator in the next year, with a developed sense of style and identity for the work I produce. The best counsel last year was from Brittanie: don’t be afraid to be loud to get done what needs to get done. Improvement would mean finding a way to live by that advice in LA Plaza’s political climate without coming off as abrasive. My overall life goal last year was more grace, this year it’s still that plus balance!
I would like to improve my overall health such as diet and exercise. My mother is training to become a "life coach" in these areas so she has been pushing me to do better in these areas while she is learning about them.
Everything is temporary. Everything changes. Everything will pass. I need to remember that.
Get more sleep. Eat properly. Take better care of yourself. Self care is as valid as caring for others.
This is something I do think about alot. I'm not sure what truly actionable things there is, even though I know they exist. Is the answer better grooming?, learn more languages? exercise more? travel more? give to chartiy more often? join more social communities? Maybe the answer is all of them. but I don't feel motivated at all to do these things. I just want to make and play more games and celebrate/drink with more people. And yet, Its not an improvement. Perhaps one small thing is I want is to do better about my love life. Its pretty easy to get caught up in the fastness of the city and ignore some of the more steady and healthy options out here (and i blame my past sometimes as a reason not to accept anything good). Also truly letting your guard down always feels painful
I want to read more, drink less, dress better, be kinder. I can't think of a specific piece of advice right now, but I need to listen to my therapist more.
I should probably focus on balance in the coming year. Right now, I have an awful lot going on and if I don’t prioritize/eliminate, something is going to fall and knock me on my a$$.
Let it all flow though you. Let things go. Open and remove your blocks. Be the river. Compassion and Love like water, through your channel.
I would like to be more settled personally and professionally, specifically romantically. The most helpful advice is to not fixate on whether the next step is the right step, but to remember that where you are is wrong.
I'd like to stay off social media more in the coming year. I've noticed that I am able to get away from it for a while, then come back and get sucked in. I know I'll have more energy if I don't end my night scrolling through. Also on the energy front - I'd like to really do better about eating less sugar and balancing out my diet a bit more. I was OK with it this summer but I can feel how since the semester started just a few weeks ago I'm starting to slide into comfort foods and more sugar - I sense the energy highs and crashes much more.
I would like to not be so ruled by fear. I can't think of any advice other than I need to trust in myself and other just a little bit more.
I would like to become better at being honest with myself and recognizing moments of denial when they are happening. doing a daily tenth step where I "look" for moments in each day where I have manifested a character flaw is a good beginning. Christine suggested that. listing my triggers and looking at that list every morning as I do my daily prayers should help me be more aware of moments where I historically tend to shut down as they are happening. Will I have the discipline to implement these strategies and stay with them? time will tell.
Keep learning how to be more kind to myself and others. Get more exercise -- maybe sign up for the pool again. One day, one hour at a time....
Have a lifestyle of living with faith and obedience , as well as talking about God and His Word throughout the day—every day.
I would like to be a more mindful parent - to think before I reach negatively - to better accept the children I have. I would like to see if I can be a better partner in an adult relationship.
I would like to feel more settled about my work. I have spent years trying new things and moving jobs around and still feel that I havent found the exact right balance of things. I would like to feel some purpose and drive in my work that I do not feel now and I would like to have and be implementing a plan that will help me get where I am going instead of feeling like Im wandering aimlessly just looking for money.
Take initiative. I form my life. Stop and make active choices, actively create the life I want. Don't let others hold you back, and don't hold yourself back. What hurts you the most is what you think others are thinking. Ignore those voices as much as possible. Be assertive. Step up and form those friendships. Follow your own advice. You sound so brilliant on Quora but then you don't listen to your own advice. Be kind to yourself. Listen to yourself.
I would like to be more bold and take more chances. I feel too timid, especially about my business. I suffer from depression, and recently read a article that mentioned a symptom that most don’t catch. Depression causes “Impossible tasks” Realizing this helps me to try and push through those impossible tasks or at least ask for help.
I'd like to be able more and more to see everyone as one (echad), and never judge or attack anything or anyone. But always start with letting go of judging and attacking yourself.
I think that Jessica was overzealous in her criticism of my approach to relationships, but not fundamentally incorrect. I’m going to try very hard to take things slower and not get so attached. I’m also going to try to not invest so much of my self worth and what my intimate partner thinks of me.
I would like to improve my lashon horah. Yes, just today I listened to a talk about it, and realized each time I'm dissing another human being I'm dissing one of God's children. I knew that, but don't think about it, and I will try to keep that foremost in my mind when I am about to miss the mark.
just go slowly its important to take baby steps even tho u feel like ur going nowhere, if u look back ull see how far uve gone
At work in July, we had a leadership coach named Trevor Ragan come speak to us about having a "Growth Mindset" - the idea that anything can be learned and you can always get better at something. In his seminar, he talked about how we too often reward people for the end result of their work (if they did a good job or not), but not about what they learned through the process. So for the coming year, I want to be more diligent of adopting a growth mindset and recognize my team members and others for the process to achieve results, rather than just the results themselves.
I need to get better at finances: keeping track, paying bills, taxes. I also want to be better about keeping in touch with friends, via cards and visits. And finally get the house painted so we can hang pictures.
I would like to learn to be happier, and not notice, or at least be bothered by, things that currently bother me, such as annoying drivers and pushy people, and other things that I cannot change. I have received advice to let it roll over me, because it doesn't make me happier to notice these things.
Quit smoking. I started again after 10 years of not smoking. Cook at home rather than eating out. More yoga. More cycling. More Chinese study. Less social media. The best advice is to be kind to myself, to practice ahimsa (non-violence) towards myself and others.
I would like to have a healthy relationship/partnership/companionship with a kind man who loves me and is good to me. And who will let me be the same for him in return. I've been divorced for seven years and single (not dating) for two. People tell me to be open to it and put out the "I'm ready" vibe instead of the "I need to protect myself so don't even look at me" vibe. It's hard to trust people when you've been abused and misused in the past, and when you're what society tells you is "old." I have a really hard time believing that I'm not too old, and that I could have what I want. It's hard to sort out the crap that our culture feeds us about age and love from what is true and honest.
I have really enjoyed reading Jonathan Sachs' work. I want to continue to focus on being in service to others. "To lead is to serve. The greater your success, the harder you have to work to remember that you are there to serve others; they are not there to serve you." And also this, "For each of us God has a task. Discerning that task, hearing God’s call, is what gives a life meaning and purpose."
Let it go. Let things go. Don't hold on to people who don't want to be in your life. Let the old go and make room for the new. Also everyting takes hard work. But focus on the now, in this moment and break things up into smaller pieces and anything is possible.
I would like to live more in the present moment, really being here and enjoying my life each day. Having had a new cancer diagnosis has heightened my awareness of the brevity and the capriciousness of all of our lives and mine in particular. To live in the present awareness of my own death is how I would like to live, with a sense of the joy of that and being at peace with that, surrendering to the truth of that and not holding it off to try to somehow fight against what is. Be here now - really, truly.
Less tizzy, more calm! And I'd like to remember every piece of advice I've given student interns behind me in school and apply it to myself. My goal in the coming year is to get better at balancing my professional needs with my personal needs, especially around exercise as self care.
I want to be more kind. I want to learn to serve more and help those around me. I want to take better care of my body: working out, eating healthier. Not really counsel, but something my choir director said when I was apologizing a ton that "Your apology is not accepted because it is neither expected or needed." May I live out this year with that much grace and forgiveness within myself and extended to those around me!
Be consistent - I would like to more consistently practice yoga, and let go of my not-so-good-unhealthier relationship with food.
I guess my first priority will be to get into shape. I have done fine coping with peritoneal dialysis. With the retiring this year, life gives me the opportunity to refocus my purpose. I need to get into shape and get back into meditation. I think it’s interesting that I keep getting drawn into the spiritual side of life, returning to guidance from angels above. I have done fine coping with peritoneal dialysis. By retiring this year, life gives me the opportunity to refocus my direction and discover where my next adventure takes me. I need to get into shape and get back into meditation. I think it’s interesting that I keep getting drawn into the spirit of side of life. It’s time to take my spiritual journey to the next level and discover something positive and fulfilling.
Don’t hold back on anything that blocks me from my serenity. Share that which blocks me with another person, and pray about it, and be free of resentment.
I would try to do better in school and work harder to make my grades better
I want my body to be as pain-free as possible. i want to get up in the morning without wincing from the pain down my legs. I will have to be serious about stretching and exercising every day. I also need to bring good people into my life. I want friends as good to me as I am to them. I have not been very good at attracting kind, thoughtful, giving people - male or female. I have 1 really good friend and a handful of acquaintances to pretend to be friends with. I don't know what I can do. I'm at least good now at closing out those who have disappointed me this year - Pam in particular. I'm refusing to get sucked back into a one-sided friendship. I wish there was someone to give me advice, but I don't listen to the self-help celebrities any more and my "friends" don't care. OMG, practically the same response last year - certainly the same thoughts. How many years before I can say I've got a couple of wonderful friends?
I’m going to be continuing the therapy I started last month. Im going to address my issues with my therapist. I’m going to be a better person, and a better husband, and perhaps even a better son - if I can get to forgive my parents for the abuse I suffered as a child.
Post surgery, I was left with two decent-sized scars on my stomach, plus I gained weight (not a lot but more than I’ve ever weighed). I used to love my stomach, now I hate it. So my goal is to feel better about my body, through exercise and eating better.
"It's only a play, no one's gonna die!"
I think the advice I have gleaned is that I need to enjoy the people around me that I love and care about. Fortunately there are many, but focusing more time on them and giving them what I have to offer as well as being fulfilled by the connection.
1) Me to me: If you can stand, essentially, topless covered in jewels and body paint for two hours and feel comfortable, you can go talk to the cute guy you spot. Just go do it. 2) Be passionate about your work. You live teaching and helping others. 3) Expand and contract as necessary. 4) Be the better person. It will always pay off. My hope is that I am in a healthy, happy relationship with a man I adore. Outside of this, I just want to keep striving to stay relevant in my profession and keep myself open to new life experiences.
Every year I bring up my weight so I don’t know if it is really worth it to make that goal, but I would like to be healthier at this time next year. I hope that I have been able to work a more regular gym routine into my schedule and that I’m eating better. The best advice I’ve received is to just do what I can. It might just be a very small change and I might not see big results right away, but I have a very busy life so anything that I can reasonably do will be an achievement.
Bicker less with Nigel. Be there more for Nina. Be present with Dave.
I would like to get better at practicing daily gratitude and staying positive. It’s hard right now because it feels like I’m swimming through gel most days. But really, life is good and I need to remember how lucky I am.
I'm currently taking an improv class and am learning about finding the joy and ease in everything, as well as celebrating mistakes and seeing mistakes as modes of learning. I want to take this with me into my every day life moving forward.
I would really like to be better at being in the present. Not worrying so much about the future, or what *could* happen, and catastrophizing, and just live in the present. I would like to practice savoring and gratitude and just *being*. I waste so much time living in the world of “what if” and “what’s next”. I’d really like to focus on what’s now.
I'd like to find more comfort in being myself, and being just with myself. Particularly at night when I'm alone. Particularly with the things that inhibit me from being in the world in the way that I'd like to be.
I really want to get healthy and happy. I want to lose weight, I want to find how to be happy and raise wonderful boys. I need to remember that things and money don't make you happy, and be ready to give up "success" for "happiness".
Me: I want to be more normal, not just able to fake it better. My life: Having a functional child. Maybe a FWB? A RWD car with a manual transmission. Simple stuff :)
I'd like to improve my independence, meaning that I'd like to get my driver's licence, buy a car, and move into a place I rent on my own. I'd like to be less centred around R, so that if things don't work out (as I suspect they won't) it's not going to be so destabilising. I think that will help me be more connected to others and engaged in the world, as I won't be spending so much of my energy on this relationship and this bad living situation. I will have to think about the counsel bit, it feels like everyone wants us to stay together, so I feel I'm flying in the face of what people have advised. I think of my nonno telling me the most important things in life were having good self-esteem and health. Perhaps it was the counsel I gave to others - to take risks and follow their heart. Perhaps it's time to take my own advice??
I want to develop more friendships/community. “Invest in people”
Be healthier. In all aspects of my life. Eat healthier, exercise more, drink in moderation (most of the time), spend less time on social media (and my phone in general). Nurture your relationship & life with James more. You owe it to yourself to put in the work.
I learned I can fly - literally and figuratively! Having been very ill, I never thought I'd be able to travel again. This was my most fun thing to do! My husband and I planned to travel a lot in retirement. After attending a conference last summer (2017) I met many people with similar challenges, that indeed do travel. It takes precise planning, but it is possible. So I ventured out first to Florida, then to Colorado, and am now planning a trip to Spain! One thing that will likely make things even easier is changing some of my dietary habits. I have been reluctant to limit myself since I had long suffered unable to eat, but I know I will be healthier if I do it. This is the year!
I am reminded of the airline instructions for parents to put on their oxygen masks first before assisting others. I want to use that to guide me in the coming year. Although it feels like New Year's resolutions, I would like to see myself healthier next year, maybe even getting the blood sugar into normal range. I would like to see more balance in my life, and more productivity now that my work schedule is reduced. I am hoping to find a place to volunteer my time and talents, along with and outside of my parish ministry.
Focus on being present in the moment, and living my life to the fullest. Not that different from what I said last year.
Worry less, pray more. Spend time with friends. Keep off the weight. Don't get another dog -- the one we have is perfect.
The biggest advice I received was to follow my dreams and do what’s good for me!
I know my blood pressure and sugars are high. I would like to eat less sugar, exercise more, and get control of the sugars and blood pressure this coming year. I am not doing a very good job of taking care of myself int his way and I know that I need to make a change or several changes in order to have a longer and healthier life.
Have a lighter touch... laugh more.
I see becoming involved in Enka Village. Doing Yard work for members and community owned property. Working with the village kids being mentor, knot teacher, whatever they're interested in that I can teach them. Well on our way seeing every National Park.
Progress, not perfection. Advice: Don't look backward unless you are planning to go that way.
Stick to a regular exercise routine. Walking and yoga. Eat well. Relax and enjoy!
I want to get more in touch with what I actually want rather than what I think others want from me! Watching other people live their truths, trying out stuff that I think I might like, being open to possibility, and writing more consistently will all help me get there.
To improve myself i want to work on my mental health more and my communication. I like the advice "I can always do better, but right now this is my best."
Again, I would like to be kinder and more positive, especially towards myself. The guidance I received this year is to change the narrative. When my thoughts start to go in a negative direction, I need to redirect them and tell myself a different story. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I react/respond.
I would like to feel healthy by losing twenty pounds. Eating food that's good for me, less carbs, fresh food, walk on the beach, do more activities outside the sunny Florida, grill out more.
I think I need to go back to the basics, and simplify. That's been a message coming across loud and clear. This life has so much STUFF to offer...but so I need it all? No. Fly miles away and backpack through such and such amazing foreign country...well, what's wrong with the amazing country I am in, in fact I live near some amazing backpacking places...why not start where I am before I throw myself into what others say I "can't miss out on" in life? People dont die from not visiting Tahiti...yes, it may be a once in a lifetime trip/experience/personal meeting...but maybe, just maybe...if I have to go into debt, stress out over the traveling, and end up sick/lost/whatever...maybe it was not necessary. I've had some amazing encounters with ordinary people right here. I've seen some gorgeous sunsets from my back yard, and some breath-taking sunrises on my way to work. Attitude makes the experience, not the location/people/whatever. As one saying goes, "pain is unavoidable, but misery is an option", likewise I would say that choosing joy, where I am at and with what I am doing is the option I need to go to, and then, even then, will I find contentment in the day to day. Serenity in simplicity.
Be a little more demanding - professionally. Stand up for yourself but have more tact and maturity. - What happened at work, with being bullied by my coworker and then having HR completely dismiss it, was devastating. But I could have left the meeting. And I could have been stronger, more confident in my responses to HR, my manager and my coworker to ensure the harassing really came to an end.
I would like to improve my health and well being. I have been doing what I can to get healthier, seeing a therapist, working out, getting the antidepressants I need, etc. I believe the missing piece is my diet needs to improve. I don’t know if someone specifically said this to me, but I’ve often heard that a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. I do think that my depression is less when I am exercising regularly, but I have trouble sustaining it do to work related circumstances. I’m going to need all the energy I can get for this upcoming year, so being healthy is highly important.
Compare yourself to *you,* not to other people. Celebrate your *actions* in addition to your successes.
I want to feel more normal physically. My husband reminds me to continue being hopeful.
Get out of debt and get more disciplined about starting and completing tasks. I have made progress in the last year.
I would like to get better at setting boundaries, and being able to quickly see and identify when things or people are crossing them. My mom and dad had absolutely 0 boundaries with each other, with themselves, with us or with their own families, so I've only just recently realized that it's something I really need to work at. Where this is particularly grinding on me right now is at work, so I do really want to get a new job so I can get away from the toxic environment my manager has created.
There are a lot of things I'd look to improve about myself in the next year. I really want to work on my confidence. It's something I've struggled with so much, especially since high school, and I hope to learn to be more assured in my worth and my abilities, instead of constantly doubting myself. I hope to also get better at opening up to others. I do a lot of listening, but not much sharing. That makes for a great friend, confidant, and interviewer, but as a result, I'm often left to my own devices when I'm working through a challenge or feeling upset. It also just makes it harder to connect with others in a long-lasting way. It's strange that I can connect so easily with strangers when I'm working on a story, but I'm terrified of digging beneath the surface with friends, let alone boys. That makes for a pretty lonely existence, and it's my own doing.
I would like to get on top of the clutter: in my home, in my car, in my storage, in my workspace, in my mind, in my life. I've been reading a lot of decluttering books, but I think the best advice I've gotten so far is "just start." Don't worry about the best way to do it, just get started and once you have some momentum you can try to get fancy about it.
Focus on family. Take time to read and think. Work will always be there tomorrow
I would like to get back to doing more retreat (I do have a "mini" home retreat planned for November, 2018!), better health (that is happening, especially since this time last year) and perhaps more friends (I have made 1 new friend and gone "out" with 3 others, attempting to find more since I wrote this last year) and even a significant relationship (I have made some overtures, there, but no actual progress, yet), for personal improvement. Professionally, more writing, up to and including completing and publishing Volume IV of "The Spanners Series" (which has been stalled for over two years at about 3/4 done) and getting well into Volume V. I have had no luck but still hope to find somewhere excellent to offer my skills, experience, knowledge and leadership/trainings that would also earn me substantial income in the social services/educational nonprofit field for which I would not have to commute far or work more than 25 hours/week, ideally. Best advice I ever got? We can only be where we are.
Worry less, live more. (AGAIN!) Wow, I guess my advice needs to be to try harder when it comes to following through on goals.
Page 7 and 8 of Mary Oliver's Poetry Handbook says writing requires the regular discipline of meeting Romeo. That means the writer must bring something like the heart into a love affair with the learned skills of the conscious mind. I would like to improve my meeting schedule with Romeo.
New mums tend to get bombarded with advice! I think the best I've been given is that you can only do the best for your child if you look after yourself too. And to not be ashamed to ask for help. With that in mind I'd like to regain my physical fitness in the next 12 months and make some time for myself to sew, knit, paint, create.
I would like to continue investing in my health and also invest more time with family and friends. I have mapped out my time each week and can plan an activity or meal with others every other week
Form more intimate relationships. There was one thing that really stuck - and really worked with what Lizzie said. Just say whatever and everything that comes into your head. I was so shy and poor at communicating. I was trying too hard to be a funny guy. As soon as she said it I realised I was supressing so much for guilt that it wasn't worthy of saying or some other equally unfounded and self inflicted limitation. I'm saying a much greater proportion now with what is coming into my head!
“Wanting approval … is a kind of aggression.” Allen Ginsberg I'm in my head a bit. and that can make things tough on relationship with my husband. I don't think I'm responsible for toughness between us, but I CAN be an obstacle to my own happiness. So, I want to take to heart that quote. I'm a pleaser, and I find true joy in connecting with others (my family, my husband, a bank teller, a waiter). I can get joy from that connection, that's a big part of me, but I shouldn't need it. I shouldn't need approval from strangers, or from husband. I need to feel more confident being an affectionate, less alpha kinda person. I don't need to be anyone other than myself.
I’d like to spend more time doing what I love instead of just focusing on obligations. I am convinced there is time for both. I need to make fun more of a priority instead of wasting time staring at a computer or some other screen. I am focusing on the wrong things.
I'd like to improve myself and my life by increasing my ability to follow through, with friends, with my business, with my interests. It is only through remaining committed and putting in the work that I can build relationships and a career that I feel proud of. I think a piece of advice that I can use to guide me is, "You are o.k. You will be fine. One moment at a time" My mom said this to me when I was crying in the car after learning I would need a breast biopsy. And it's true. When I feel worried, actively asking myself...am I ok? Yes, I have my health. A loving and supportive husband who provides for our little family. Of course I'll be o.k. I can handle anything that comes my way. I just have to keep moving forward.
I would like to run more and keep making the gym a priority, not because I want to be thin but because I want to feel good/healthy.
If you want to get there DO IT, don't think others are gonna care or help. If they do it's a bonus, if they don't, then, fight on!
Chill out. Be less angry, it's not worth getting bent over. LET. IT. GO.
Over the past year, I feel like I did take more chances - I tried out a few fitness classes by myself. But I still feel so isolated. I've tried going to happy hours at work, but haven't ever been invited to any non-work stuff. I still haven't got any "outside of work" friends. I haven't really got anyone to talk to about this, so no advice to help me either.
Stop worrying about Trust. Chill. should guide me but does not.
I would like to open my heart to more people, things, places and ideas. Being able to open my heart and accept people for who they are and not what I want them to be. Being open to do things that I think are not in my purview, to move out of my comfort zone. Being open to go to places I haven't been before, even if they're around the block. Being open to ideas that I might normally reject because I didn't listen carefully to the foundations of the precept presented.
Next year I want to take more risks and just go for the things I want to do, even if it's scary. I really want to move somewhere far away next year, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking about just working here (literally here at UCLA, or at least somewhere on the Westside). Even though it's easy to fall back on a safe option, I want to go outside my comfort zone and try something new. Next year is my first year out of college, a time in my life where I can really do anything. It's the first time in my life I don't have a set path, and really have zero obligation to be in any particular place. I want to make the most of it.
This past year I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after months of mental anguish and living a life I just didn't want to be part of. Since being diagnosed I have received a lot of advice that will guide me this year. I am working hard on getting myself well and recovering. While BPD is a serious mental illness, with a correct diagnosis and the right treatment people get better. The illness doesn't completely go away, but symptoms dissipate up to 80%. Right now I feel in control and in the next year I want to continue feeling in control and well on the path to living the best life I can.
I want to take full control of my time, and stop allowing others to ‘hijack’ my day. I resent having to give up all of my time and being subject to others’ whims. I also get frustrated with myself for not being a better steward of my time, and letting the day ‘slip away ‘ from me. I want to concentrate my efforts, so that I gain maximum results from the minimum input. I also want stop sabotaging my own business, and take full advantage of the mentoring available to me, so I can finally realize my potential, both personally and professionally.
I need to continue to remind myself to let go of disempowering beliefs by noting what I have been able to accomplish by standing in my power and believing in myself this past year. I shouldn't be afraid to go for things I want. I may succeed or fail miserably, but it will be on my own terms. Now, I also want to feel emotionally and physically stronger, by working on my body and my mind. The best advice I have received and that I want to live up to is to avoid getting stuck on "how" things are supposed to happen and to focus on the end results so that I am able to shift quickly to reach what I want. If the plan gets stuck, move to a different plan.
There are several ways I could improve myself... Continue to have faith Continue to pursue my graduate degree Choose more vegan food options Advice: Breathe. Be in the moment. This will help me as I work towards my goals.
Stop making assumptions about what other people expect of me and be willing to take what I want sometimes without trying to tiptoe around others.
I am thinking of doing something for someone else as in volunteering. A neighbor who works for the visiting Angels told me about what she has been doing and I think I will check with them.
I would like to be more content with the place I live and the choices I've made. I want to stay strong physically and mentally. Best advice is still the old advice- don't sweat the small stuff!
Feeling ineffective is not equal to being effective, believing that I’m not good enough creates a loop of self fulfilling prophecy, the same is true if I believe I’m doing fantastic, so why not do that?
I really want to work harder at not allowing things/people/etc. to stress me. It only hurts me. I know, for the sake of my health, that I need to be able to just let it go...let it all go...Simple yet difficult but worth trying to achieve!!
This year, I want to take more responsibility in my life. I am responsible for my actions and no one else. I want to avoid putting responsibility on others for the way I interact with people. No blaming provocation, or circumstance. I want to be responsible for what I do and say. If I drink too much and make a choice, it is not the fault of the alcohol. It is my own. The inspiration for this is the randomness of death and disease in our world. There are few things we can control, sometimes not even our own minds and bodies. So use your will as best you can to control the little things that end up making a big difference.
I was told this year, "Trust yourself...you're stronger than you realize." And I think this is the best advice I could have been given, as it applies to all aspects of who I am and what I really need to hear. I feel like my life this year has been one of continuous growth and improvement, both physically and mentally. I have continued my workout journey and the friendships and things I learn there have helped me improve physically. I intend to stay on track and continue on that path. I know now that fitness isn't something you do just till you reach your goal, but it is something you stick with and continue to grow and keep setting and achieving goals. This also applies to my mental health. So I'd say my goal for improvement is to continue on the journeys that I have started in the last year(s) and work on getting stronger all the time.
I really need to focus on my health. I need to lose weight. I need to eat more mindfully to control blood sugar and blood pressure. And I need to move more. I’m not nearly as active as I have been in the past. I want to be a young 60.
I would like to have my house in order, devote regular time to my artwork and writing, and save enough to buy a home where I can age in place. I would like to be kinder, more generous, and happier. I would like to see my friends and travel.
I want to hold everything more lightly. Expect less perfection of myself and of others. In part this is about being more mindful and taking that space between stimulus and response. More concretely, I want to get back to meditating more regularly, even if it is just 5 minutes a day.
I would like to have better discipline when it comes to nutrition and exercise. All or something. I’m still caught up in the all or nothing stage.
I want to be my best fullest loudest self and I will.
I would like to be more mindful about my health and my emotional wellbeing. I'm trying to be aware of my decisions instead of just lo setting life happen
put your head down, dig down, and keep going
I want to continue working on identifying my needs and wants, and communicating them. I also want to work on stopping myself from spiraling into a parade of horribleness by saying to myself, “That’s a lot of black and white thinking. Where’s the grey in all of this?”
Be an oved hashem, ben torah, talmid chacham and geshmak chaver
I want to build deep meaningful relationships, a sense of belonging and togetherness in my daily life.
Definitely diving deep into myself, unpacking anger and sadness inside; this will help me act instead of react, remain calm and compassionate with myself and others.
I need more discipline. How can I develop that?
How I'd like to improve myself & my life next year? One in the same: secure some financial independence. As for a piece of advice: enjoy some downtime & unplug from the current project at-hand. That includes not thinking about the current project at all for small stretches.
I would like to do more for me for me and not always give all of myself to others to the point of getting hurt. Molly told me to live my best life and I'm going to do that!
Id like to listen to my own internal guidance more and pay attention to what is coming through me. The best advice I received in the past year was that life is short and none of this really matters - just how you show up, love and create. This guidance came through me. Just want to be able to hold it and not worry about anyone else's judgement.
I would like to work on maintaining friendships along with making new friendships. I've had a tendency to let friendships grow apart. In the past year, I've learned that I need to have other active relationships beyond my wife and immediate family. An obvious place for me is to work on friendships with others at my synagogue.
I want to continue working towards being more patient and kind to others. To be able to give people the benefit of the doubt! To be mindful that each of us carries a spark of Hashem within ourselves.
Get laserlike in terms of where I'm focusing my attention with an aim toward co-creating synergistic caring, loving, regenerative communities of practice that are fueled and in action through engagement with curiosity, inquiry, and thoughtful dialog.
Relax. Make time for the important things:Arthur. Kissing your husband. Reading books. Writing. Less being neurotic and checking the phone. More snuggles and living in the moment.
Work out how to live the rest of my life with some degree of happiness. Worry less about other people.
I would like to have more faith that all is well when things don't seem well. I've learned things usually work out for the best even when I can't see what the best thing is. Be open to the roller coaster of life. Hang on & enjoy the ride!
I have four things I'd like to work on and have made progress on by this time next year as part of a strategic plan that I wrote for myself. I want to record them and refer to them next year, but I also want to be compassionate with myself if they don't get achieved. These are really learning and growth goals and they may not take me to the outcomes that I hope for on the timeline I want, but the process and the journey will be good for me anyway. These are also things I'll be working on at some level for the rest of my life. Love you, Future Jamie <3 1. Establish healthy self-care habits and cultivate self-love and self-compassion 2. Achieve financial stability and develop a long-term plan for financial security 3. Cultivate a loving and supportive community of healthy relationships 4. Determine what I want the next stage of my social justice work to look like
I want to be happier with the present moment and less focused on where this moment gets me. I'm always so focused on how I achieve the next title, the next raise, the next milestone in my relationship, what the next age will bring me... that I forget to just enjoy the journey. When I've let down my guard and stopped being so aggressive about "next", I've been happiest this year.
HaHa ~ my first thought was, "Be More, Do Less" which is quite the same as last year. I have, gratefully, made progress there.
I am on a constant quest to learn and grow (improve). I think we are often misguided by societal norms and expectations. I think the main thing I want to put effort/focus into is my ability to see my self as a human being and NOT a human doing. Hold space for myself and others. Some might call it mindfulness, spirituality, being much less on auto-pilot.
I just had a battery of blood tests and a bone density scan for my recent induction into Medicare. Overall, my results are fine, but I am slightly lacking in Vitamin D, and I am at the low end of pre-diabetic. (Bone density results not yet in). I would like to end the year out of the risk zones for diabetes and osteoporosis. And, of course, this requires both exercise and diet. Time to get serious. My own advice from last year: time for goals doesn't just happen; I have to *make* the time.
The best piece of advice I've received in the past few years is from my mother, who texted me, "You just need to chill." That's very good and far-reaching advice for me, and I'm working on learning to chill, letting go of the idea of control, and accepting the beauties currently inherent to my life. My life is actually extraordinarily lovely right now; it's just so fragile. It could all end so suddenly, and that makes me worry. By next year, I would like to worry less. I would like to be more optimistic and hopeful. I would like to enjoy my life more while I'm still young(ish). I would like to stay healthy and get stronger.
I am trying to slow down - I rush around a lot doing chores, running errands, volunteering. And sometimes I don't feel well but I don't "baby" myself. I need to slow down and sometimes think of myself first even if I've made a commitment. Saying "I'm not feeling well, I can't do it" is OK. I need to internalize that piece of self-advice.
I would like to be able to handle differing opinions better as I move forward in my life. I have always had a tough time with people disagreeing with me (particularly if I see their opinions and arguments as flawed) but for the sake of my reputation and business, and for the sake of my personal relationships, I don't want to be known as an adversarial/argumentative person. I'm highly critical and I always feel justified in my criticisms. However other people who are just as qualified and intelligent as me have differing opinions about things and I need to learn to press them for their views instead of shutting them down or simply disagreeing. I know that as a society we have become more polarized and more speciated in our opinions in general, and I don't want to continue allowing myself to fall into the trap of being the only type of right. I would like to make an effort to listen to people who have different opinions then me more, and to see what their background and understanding is instead of jumping in with my contradictions & reasons why they are wrong. I think it's easier for me to do this with strangers than people I know well because I feel more free to disagree with people who I know. I see people like my mom becoming more defensive, combative and ready to judge as she gets older and I cannot stand the thought that I might become like that too - entrenched in my own sense of rightness.
Save my home. Generate more income do I can take a vacation. More exercise, less weight. This advice is not new this year, but it’s always good advice: the best marketing, exercise, diet, etc. is one that you will do.
try to be less mean??? i feel like my personality has changed, not in a bad way, but i'm a little more straightforward when i dont' like someone. i might be enjoying this freedom a bit too much.... but then again, being honest with how i feel and not feeling the need to like everyone and be liked by everyone is important........ <3
My sister-in-law said her new theme for the year is 'Support and ask.' I think this means, "I'm happy to lay foundations and give to others--and I ALSO want to ask others to do their part, so that it all works, and we all move forward on what we've laid out as important." I haven't done much of the 'ask' part--for years, I've been trying to provide support to others in order to validate my self-esteem. That didn't work well--I overgave and felt resentful & depleted & overwhelmed and that no one gave to me. I was way less resourceful and productive in important ways as a result of that approach. I'm dropping that act now in favor of 'support and ask.' It feels REALLY good.
I would like my life to be a bit more adventurous next year. I hope I will be able to do what I want without being held back by events. I didn't receive any particular piece of advice which I found life-changing, this year, probably because I received so much advice which sounded all the same and they were not really practical. I definitely still need to find a good life mentor.
I want to be healthy-physically, emotionally and spiritually. Keep it simple and one day at a time. For physical fitness, I need to eat healthy and exercise. For emotional health, I must stay positive and let go and accept life on life's terms. For spiritual health, I must do good deeds and practice my faith. Don't act on fearful motives.
I would like more energy. I would like to be more physically fit. I would like to be healthier, thinner, and more energetic. My house is still a mess and I would love to have a neat clean house. I would like to procrastinate less, get things done, and care for myself first.
I would like to try and do what I planned last year...increased knowledge in how to use social media for business. I did improve and would like to continue. Hoping to be the owner of my own business. Go on a vacation or have one planned with my husband or my family. I learned a lot from a lot of different people and all of it will guide me through these next months and year!
Confie, mulher! Espere o momento certo e se jogue. Cho urubu. Tem muita vida maravilhosa mais embaixo.
I would like to continue to improve my physical strength and flexibility. I learned that there is one thing I can do to decrease my lower back and thigh pain is to sit on my sitz bones at all times. I have a habit of slouching when I sit reading, watching TV and other seated activities and that is putting a tremendous strain on the discs in my spine. Correcting my sitting posture has decreased my pain level greatly and I am looking for more improvement.
As an autistic person I'm often frank, and want to regulate my «information output» more. Therefor, I would like to integrate the reminder of the power of language into my daily interactions.
I would like to be kinder, more at peace, less angry, happier, and at a healthy weight. Sharon Salzburg talks about the pause before responding, reacting. I'd like to work on that. I've improved! I'd like to get better though. "We need to practice being able to forgive others" says Mary Rammerman. If I continue to practice kindness, compassion, forgiveness I can improve.
I would like to improve myself by finding a compatible partner and increasing my income. No good advice this year but I rely on the tried and true “the only thing your boss wants to hear from you is ‘I’ll get right on it’”
Definitely want to have taken a big bite out of my debt. That would be rad.
Get back to basics (values, priorities, faith, humanity, goodwill). If you won't do it, who will? If not now, when? Stop being so neutral on things and go out and do, be, thrive.
I wish I would have been more patient. I am still struggling with this. And my temper.
My answer from last year: This sound akin to New Year's resolutions, but here it goes: 1) spend less time on the computer and more time at concerts and dances; 2) start playing the guitar again; 3) read more paper books; 4) cook more; 5) run a 10K in less time than my age; 6) spend more time with family and friends Remains pretty accurate although I have managed #3.
Don't take the easy way out! Going to your college, doing a pittance of research, getting the worst internship available, all of those were ways to just take it easy, not try, and not fail. But you ended up poorly positioned for success in your field, so don't be afraid to take those risks and get ahead!
I'd like to keep working on being present with whatever I'm doing in any given moment. It's easy to always live in planning or triage mode, and that's really not healthy or enriching or fun. I wear a lot of hats these days but they all go on the same head. I like Marianna Gabbi's advice: don't just play notes, make music! She was an amazing conductor who recently died, and that was one of her favorite things to say.
This has been probably the most stressful time in my life for several years. I am hardy and resilient, but I really would like to better manage my anxiety. I have spent too many sleepless nights worrying and ruminating, wondering why people are so meshugah. I did keep my self bargain to distance from toxic people, and I am glad, because it is not my job to fix or heal them. I am going to start thinking about the needs of my family, which includes cutting ties to dog sitters who can't be available during the day. I did this today and feel sad to have them leave but know they are no longer right for the job.
I would like to cultivate more strength and resilience, to get my love and comfort from within first and foremost, to feel joy, freedom, and vibrancy in my body, to be strong and healthy in body and mind, to love and accept my body, to cultivate curiosity, creativity, love, and community. Some advice from this year that I can use as a guide: Go where you are wanted. The people who think you are too much aren’t your people. Self-compassion - I need more. I am fucking awesome! Trust the universe. Free myself. Open to new possibilities rather than clinging to the past for safety. Let go of outcome. Get support when I need it.
I worked with a career counselor this year and investigated four different possible career paths. I created steps to investigate those path further. I know it will be hard to look into this more and create the time and space for it like I had with her but I want to continue thinking about what I want to do in life. Besides being less anxious, more calm, and happier with my state of being, if I can remember that whatever I do will be the right choice I will be more at ease. I learned through the career counselor that my passion translates into all aspects of my life and I shouldn't worry so much about how others thing of me. My big piece of advice is whatever happens don't stress too hard, continue working on your goals, and good things will come!
You are not a problem that needs fixing. When you get the gift of grace, of someone who believes in you and loves you- get over yourself and your false humility and just Listen. And say thank you.
Accept the fact am aging , and the conditions that come with it. Best advice is trust in your higher power.
Judge less , stop negative thoughts. Complement others more. Don’t let the yeter hara in. The advice and counsel I received came from the Battle Plans book .
Character, self, thirdness. Laugh more. Drink less.
I hope to prioritize self-care and balance in the year to come. I won't be able to practice it all the time during my studies but I hope I take advantage of the opportunities whenever I can and remain present to the people I love. I hope I improve in my ability to ask for help from others.
The best piece of advice I’ve received this year is “we don’t do grief, grief does us.” I’m grieving the loss of Pamela, who died, and Debbie, who has moved far away for at least ten years. What I would like to improve on, based on that advice, is to not ignore or run away from my grief, but to immerse myself in it in order to heal.
For the past couple of years, I've mentioned that I needed to "slow down" and/or learn to meditate. This year, my body has slowed me down. So to improve myself in the coming year, I want to listen more to my body. I want to be able to say that I am adapting and accepting the management of this disease, and that life is improving by leaps and bounds. I want to look back and see that I have treated myself with kindness and gentleness (like I treat everyone else BUT myself). Perhaps I will take a class or two in meditation. I want to spend less time on Facebook, more time reading real books. Advice from this year: Stress less. Love more. Smile and be kind to yourself as much as you do to others.
I'm full-on repeating my answer from last year because I still 100% think this is my answer. I would like to be healthier, both mentally and physically. I would like to be more self-confident and proud of who I am. There’s so much stigma around chronic illness shaming and body shaming that has inspired me to not let those defeat me but empower me to be the best version of myself possible.
I would like to do better with the yard work and gardening this next year. It bothers me that the yard does not look as nice and tidy as it could, as it should. The advice in that seems a bit Zen. Tidy up the space around you as a way of tidying up yourself. That just occurs to me now, Zen gardening, I like that idea, as a way of working on patience and tranquility.
I'd like to be a better more rounded person. You're more than the worse thing you've ever done
Taking care of myself first thing in the morning--my Miracle Morning, helps set me up to win the day so incredibly well. It helps me focus, it helps me not overcommit, it get things in perspective, it helps me feel productive even on days that don't end up being productive and it energizes me. As for how do I want to improve, I want to move to a new local and I want to make sure I'm open to new experiences, new people and new viewpoints when I'm there.
I'd like to be more open with the people I encounter throughout the day. I would like to smile more, make eye contact, remember people's names, and make an effort to think about other people's roles in conversation.
I did well this year with last year's goal of taking better care of myself in specific ways. This year I want to continue my new habits of keeping regularly scheduled doc appointments and screenings, getting my hair done, and taking care of my skin. I want to add some new health goals in terms of fitness and better diet. My husband was put on a low-salt diet, so I'm learning how to do that and to cook for 2 at the same time since our children are now away at college. It's going to be an adventure. Yoga and walking are things I believe I may enjoy, but I'd like to find something I can do with my husband. He already walks quite a bit on the job, and I don't know if yoga is his thing, but I believe we can look for something together.
I want to sing better, brush up on my piano playing and treat myself with more respect. Gosh, how many others post similarly? And how many of us will follow through with any of the things we desire? My guess is, not many. We live our lives hustling about, tending to an onslaught of unexpected tasks, take a bit of time to relax, work and yearn to engage in hobbies. Where does all the time go? Life seems so fleeting. So, time for reality. I'll do the best I can to sing better and brush up on my piano skills. I'll do what I can to treat myself more respectfully. And, I'll try my best to accept that my life is, as a result, really busy, just with the few things I've chosen. I'll continue to share time with my kids, significant other, parents and other family members. But my "improvement" goal for the coming year is, as of this writing, to better accept the chaos that is life.
I would like to work on not getting frustrated as quickly and not showing my frustration when it arises. I recognize that it's not a helpful trait, to be frustrated so often by those around me, instead, I want to support those around me, or at the very least not put them down as often as I do. one piece of advice I've received in the past year was: just shut up. stop talking. talk less, smile more. and I hope to live by that.
I would like to become better at listening, holding space and not responding, just listening.
I would like to meditate and be more mindful of every moment. "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength." - Corrie Ten Boom
I want to be kinder. I turned 38 this month and I said that I hoped this was my kindest and most peaceful year yet. I type this as I'm visibly frustrated with my husband so I suppose that along with kindness I'd like to become more patient. That I would learn to communicate effectively and calmly (with certain people). I come from a line of women that are hard and not always sympathetic. I don't want to end up like that.
I would like to finally begin taking piano lessons. I would like to complete my Sex Therapy program. I would like to take classes in makeup artistry. Advice: Trust the process. Trust Wolf. Be honest in all things- even when it's scary.
Do one thing at a time. Take time to meditate and reflect. Surrender to feeling part of something much bigger. Remember this is just a game.
I would like to continue lowering my body fat using advice from various online resources and people.
I want to take more time to breathe, to read, to write, to be present. I spent so much of the past year driving. I want to get comfortable balancing life between work and passions/relationships that have nothing to do with work.
I would like to get back into a healthy weight zone. Not that I'm far out of it but I need to stop the over-indulgence and need to step up my activity. "Whatever you doin word or deed, do all to the glory of God."
Stop worrying about bothering someone! You’re not. And even if you are, they’ll forgive you. Cut yourself some slack, too. You can’t be perfect. Just be good enough.
I have kind of the same goal this year, because I didn't do well at being more productive, proactive & effective with my time & resources. I have to determine the things that are truly important to me & design a plan to go get them. I also have to stop making a giant list of all the things to do at once. I need a master list & then I need to select one at a time from that list to work through. Trying to do them all at the same time has been overwhelming & lead to me feeling like nothing is getting done. Then I'm losing momentum, because I feel like it's all in vain. James 2:18 is still my focus: But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. I can't very well say I expect God to do big things & I'm not even going after the little things! Intentionality needs to be my goal! Just as God is intentional, so shall I be too!
Get into nature more and find ways through photography and perhaps watercolors to bring it home with me.
Two things: I'd like to have more of a social life and more money. The garage will one day be a studio apartment so I can have some income other than social security, and that will help. Thanks to the settlement, I've gotten used to having enough to take care of necessities plus travel and gifts for myself and my friends. It didn't take long for me to get used to a higher standard of living! The advice that has carried me through for years was for me to, "learn to stand still and feel the pain..." I've been learning not to run from my feelings, all of them, including pain and anger. This gives me an emotional range that was missing most of my life. That means I've lost that flat affect I used to have so I'm more responsive to life itself. Pain is there, but so is a greater joy.
I want to keep on my journey to loose weight. Started 378now i am 234. My goal is the to get to 170 before the end of next year
I need to be more disciplined in how I use my time. I have enjoyed the last couple of years after retiring of just "floating" from one focus to another. But I want to make something meaningful of the time that I have left.
Meditating daily. My Mussar class this past year finally gave me "permission" to meditate and I think it has made a huge difference, especially in lessening my stress level. I hope to continue to use it to help me in my relationship with myself and with others, to live in the present moment with calm and awareness and to listen more and talk less.
I’d like to improve my life and myself by traveling more with my family and NO WORK. I’ve had no special advice or counsel but know from years of experience, I’m not getting any younger and traveling while we are able to enjoy it will be most beneficial.
Start my days earlier, time for Bible study, refections, devotions. Study now at 8 or 9, just need time earlier. Get off the couch, exercise. Self care. Prepariness, arrive early for activities...as well as, a walk does the heart good. Good start helps everything
I would like to stop my everlasting procrastination marathon and either find a way to earn more or to have a career change.
I am constantly looking for ways to improve my life and my health and stress levels. I tried a few new things this year (float session, hypnosis) and have cut back on drinking spirits. But, I still find myself somewhat depressed and lacking energy most of the time. Plus, I still get very stressed at the thought of travel of any kind. I'm not sure what to do at this point to overcome these issues. I do need to get back to taking daily walks and possibly doing some gentle exercises.
In this next year I would like to balance working more for myself (and my future) than working for someone else. In 5-7 years I will be ready to retire, and my goal is to build a business that enables me to do something that I love, increase my net worth, and retire comfortably.
I really want to start keeping a Gratitude Journal. While listening to Justin Simien's podcast, he said that he tried to write five things every day that he is grateful for, and then five things that he hates, that were really hard. And then find a way to be grateful for those things too. And I love that. It's so simple. I've been trying to cultivate gratitude but I think the act of writing it down and also consciously making a decision to be grateful for challenges and frustration would be really radically changing (as I've heard!).
I would like to improve my physical health. I bought myself a weight set this summer after enjoying the activity in the spring, but having a set back in the summer. I want to keep myself physically and mentally strong. Doing so will also motivate me to eat better more consistently. I’d also like to extend this to participating in a community of women lifters. But I feel like this will be a slow entry. I’m sorry to have had a bad experience with the first group, but I don’t really want to give up either.
In 2019, I want to get my money in better shape and accelerate the Escape Plan. The best advice I have received this year is that everything is a choice, and you are never forced to do anything. So I'm choosing to work this terrible job all the time, because I want the money and I want to be free of choices like this in the future.
"Just DO THE DISHES." This has become a nonnegotiable for me now and my life is way less chaotic than it has been for the past 5 years. Every day, I do the dishes. Every other night, I run the dishwasher. I have clean plates, glasses and cookware to put away and use first thing in the morning. My countertops and my sink are free of dirty dishes from yesterday. I get a fresh start. This encourages me to be able to do other things in my house. My dishes are clean so I can sweep the floor. My dishes are clean so I can think about dinner. My dishes are clean so maybe I'll clean the bathroom...Having clean dishes has changed my outlook on my ability of keeping my home. Maybe one day, you can come over unannounced and I won't want to hide out pretending I'm not home...
I want to be more spiritual. I want to provide guidance to the people around me, to help them where I haven’t got help myself.
I would like to go back to living my life the way I used to before the end of my junior year.
I would like to work towards my dreams - get the novel published - move the needle towards what I keep saying I want but need to do the work to make it finally happen. I’m in the best health to get it done. Jillian - get it done!
I would like to listen more and talk about myself less. I mean, REALLY listen, as in don't be thinking ahead to my response. I believe this is the key to unity. Make us ONE, Father God.
Try to be open minded. Don’t be quick to react. Don’t take anyone’s bullshit either. This is my advice for myself for this coming year. As always I would like to be in a better place financially and career wise. I would like to strengthen and grow in my relationship with my fella. I’d like to travel more and start a new hobby.
I would like to remember that I am loved and continue to focus on building my own sense of security in my relationships. I would also like to remember that I am capable and I know what I'm doing and move forward with that in mind.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. Too many books, too much paper, clutter and too many demands on my time. I'd love to be able to bring my possessions and my commitments to a level I can manage easily.
I want to manage my time better. I really want to free myself from the slavery of email which sucks the productivity and effectiveness away from me. A good piece of advice I have received is to chunk out my time and plan my full year, then month, then week, then day. I am going to give this a try.
Not get into fears or hopes about my health. Just live each day as I am and do my best to manage and keep track of where I am in my medication "cycle" to take advantage of energy or to rest if that is what I need Be really honest on answering "How are you?" Both physically and emotionally. But still to be sensitive to what people might not becomfortable with hearing. (I have stage iv metastatic breast cancer)
Focus on what brings you joy. Let the easy things be easy and work at making the things you enjoy that are hard become easy.
I am always looking to improve myself, and always setting goals, and always failing to meet them. I have given up on such endeavors. I try to live each day with as much purpose as possible - even accepting that sometimes my day's purpose is to reconstitute and recover. I try to ensure that I learn something everyday. A day without learning is a wasted day. I try to think about the larger picture as I'm moving through y day. I frequently ask myself, how does this fit in with my overall goals or what I hope to achieve long term. Is this really helpful? Would my time be better spent elsewhere. I will try and do these things more often.
I would like to continue making progress on getting a handle on my anxiety.
I want to be in better shape, eat less, drink less, be more mindful and happier. It takes a commitment to the daily practice of turning your life around.
Recently, when asked to meditate on a word of which I want to draw the essence in my life, I chose "flow." I definitely enjoy feeling an effortless flow from one moment/event/day to the next in life, rather than effortful and like I'm watching the clock. Yet again this past year, I attempted to go off my antidepressant, and I realized yet again that Zoloft helps me find "flow" in life, even though I don't like the assistance of this synthetic drug. I want to keep doing what I'm doing, NOT attempt going off this antidepressant, but CONTINUE seeking ways of finding flow... least effort toward what gain suits me best, sort of Taoist in the sense that maximum effort does not necessarily mean maximum results.
I want to more consciously make time for people. It get so exhausted that it's easy to just hang out with people when I "have time" or when it "comes up", but I think I have to try harder with my little chosen family. I'm trying to do regular weekly breakfasts with one of my friends, and I want to organize Shabbat dinners with a larger number of them.
A friend of mine shared the phrase "That's beyond my event horizon" with me and I fell in love with it. I spend far too much time projecting into the future, and devote too much energy to planning for theoretical realities that may or may not ever end up manifesting. So having a go-to phrase that reminds me of the limits of my present and enables me to focus on those will hopefully trigger a more grounded reality over the next year.
I am going to work on three key areas. 1. Continue to tame my anger and mood swings. I have grown so much here, but want to continue to work on being a better person overall, to be more open and communicative, because I realize my anger can shut people down. 2. Be more present. My rabbi gave a great Rosh Hashanah sermon about learning to put down technology and be in the moment. I’m decent at this, mostly, I got into tabletop gaming because I wanted a tech free hobby, but there is always growth to be had. 3. Build a Jewish home. As a new convert and about to be married, this will be my first year of observance, and I want to set us up for success in this area.
Throughout our study with the intro to Judaism course, several times we’ve talked about incorporating as much as possible into our home and life, I hope to make steps with my partner to make our Jewish home.
"Something is better than nothing." That's a piece of advice I heard from a colleague earlier this year, and for a while I tried to incorporate it into my approach to exercise and eating well. That meant that if I didn't have time for my full workout, I'd do "something," even if it was only 10 minutes. And even if I strayed from my intent to eat healthily, I could do "something" by skipping the dessert just this once, or adding extra vegetables to my plate instead of having seconds. I've not kept as close to this provision as the year has moved forward; for next year, I hope I'll renew my commitment to being more healthy, one little step at a time. Something is better than nothing.
The best piece of advice I received was to give everything time, and to talk more. I believe my own catastrophic view of the world quite often. Learning to understand that there are times that the world is kinder than I think would help me a lot.
I would like to continue to grow in my faith as well as my professional life. I would like to learn to not be so hard on myself and be a gentler kinder version of myself. Some advice that would be helpful is to not be so hard on myself and that i am and others are doing the best that they can. I need to remember that and not lash out.
A friend that just retired told me it’s essential to find a hobby if you plan to retire before you even do it, otherwise you might find yourself at home just cleaning and cooking and frustration will follow so I started painting regularly every week even though my husband doesn’t have a hobby
Be courageous. I need to improve my time-management. Emm? Not much
I want to continue to work on my patience. I am over 40 now. Being short-fused isn't a good look. I mostly do a good job of gathering information before I react, but still fall short in my home. This is where I react on gut instead of logic without having all the information.
Trust! Know that I am cared for and guided. All is well. I would like to get back to my fitness and nutrition habits that made me feel better and that were working well in my life. I also want to get my life into balance so that I have time to do my creative pursuits (writing, photography, art), my Norwex business (getting to regular party schedule, creating regular income, and building my team), and my church activities while at the same time enjoying some social time and getting out to meet new people and have new experiences.
To improve myself as a teacher, I'll observe a colleague in one of his religion classes next Monday, in the hopes of witnessing a class discussion. I'd like to be better at moderating those, I'd like to find out how to let them express themselves and learn from each other, without preaching and without silently validating harming 'opinions' they might have.
Yes, allow it to flow and enjoy it. Try to have no expectations, keep the light on!