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Q02

Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? How would you have done it differently? And how can you learn from it to improve how things turn out in the future?

Maybe I would have encouraged my fiance in her studies more, instead of sitting with her on the couch eating takeout and watching TV for hours every night. We got into a pattern of doing this and it took time away from more important activities like being active, exercising, studying, exploring New York, volunteering and doing any number of better things with our time.

The way I handled my work when I was confused and depressed last autumn. I burned a bridge with a company through my behaviour. If I had only known - and said - that I was burnt out and needed a break - I could have come back whenever I wanted. Instead, I kept starting things and not finishing them, behaving awkwardly, frustrating expectations, and generally coming across like a loose cannon.

I wish I would have cut off the people who I've claimed to be my ‘best friends.’ They aren't my best friends anymore, they haven't been for a while. People grow up differently so there is no one to blame, they just aren't the people who I want to be around.

I lost a lot of weight and I wish I kept it off, but instead I started eating badly again and not taking care of my body the way I did. I need to get back on track. I felt better about myself before and that made me happy.

I would like to be more empathetic in general. I feel that too much passes before me without really striking the chord that it should.

I would have asked for help more. I would have not taken those instances where I felt stuck and somehow made them a confirmation of my own inadequacy. I needed to problem solve better for myself, instead of indulging in so much self-blame.

I wish I didn’t put up such a barrier between myself and new people. In particular I’m thinking of my new job that required me to work in the office of a company I really want to have a future with. I’m shy and I let my insecurities dictate my interaction with people. I’m too scared/nervous to pitch in and I want that to change.

If I could do one thing differently, it would have been to leave my job sooner.

I should've been braver and stronger in facing myself when communicating with a particular loved one. I could've showed more compassion rather than letting the petty things influence me in a way that prevented honest discussion.

In gathering resources to purchase a home, the contributions I was able to make were grossly outweighed by those of my wife. The ensuing insecurity caused me to find more fault with my wife than I should in a loving relationship. I saw myself doing it, but still wasn't able to get a strong enough handle on myself to prevent it from happening. I'm not sure I feel worthy of forgiveness for behaving this way.

I wish I'd worked harder this year. There have been times where my productivity level at work has been almost zero. I can be so career focused st times, and yet my performance lets my attitude down.

I wish I'd have thought more before speaking.

I wish I had paid more attention to my wife's needs. I could have dropped my plans and worked on hers, because mine added up to mostly nothing anyway, although they seemed important at the time. I will not put off what she wants, placing her second, and have such an inflated opinion of my own plans.

I wish that I been stricter with my kids, so they wouldn't be so flippant and non responsive to my requests for simple assistance. I am struggling with the proper way to discipline and to help them learn in childhood how to become responsible adults.

I allowed a toxic situation at work to affect me far too much- I should have worked harder at not letting it get to me, and to not allow my own worth to be questioned by external forces.

I would never have smacked my daughter on her tuchus. I would have stepped back, taken a breath and focused my response more appropriately. Hitting my children is not the parent that I want to be.

I wish I would have come out of my shell a little more. I'm terrified of standing out, of having people watch me unless I'm doing something I've prepared for very thoroughly. When people dance in our shul, I sit in my chair, my heart pounding.

Not pushed so many people away. I feel that in my last year of college - I was so determined and busy with my school projects, I didn't give much time for my friends, neighbors, and roommates. I realized slowly that people were moving on without me - making new friends, new groups etc.

I wish I had not started smoking again.

Going back a full year from now? I wish I would have just told him that I heart him, that I utterly absolutely adore him, that I couldn't explain it, that it made no sense, that it might be entirely one sided and not reciprocated at all by him, and that he might be horrified by this knowledge, but that I think the world of him.

Exercised more. Changed jobs. Been more affectionate to my wife. Otherwise it was a banner year.

I feel like I have not done my best in expressing my love to those who mean the most to me. There has been a lot more time spent pondering their own perspective and role in my life, but I have yet to make the transition from appreciating it to showing.

I had been dating a woman for three weeks when I asked her to move in with me... She moved in with me over the course of two weeks and then lived in my tiny one-bedroom condo for six weeks. We drove each other crazy. It wasn't a healthy or loving situation.

I wish that I were a better active listener. Over the last year, it has come to my attention that I am so worried about what I'm thinking and what I'm going to say next that I don't listen to other people.

I work very hard to create creative projects that will ultimately live or die based on the decisions of the money people. In doing so, I have completely forgotten how to do the smaller, personal, creatively freeing projects that got me to where I'm at in the first place. Never again will I forget to maintain this balance.

I wish I hadn't spoken to my daughter-in-law's mother in such a personal way. I am worried about my son's young marriage and my daughter-in-law's intense relationship with her mother.

I wish I had been kinder to my wife.

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